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Starting a rhythm with his tongue, he held her hips in his hands, her fingers finding his hair and scratching into his scalp.
Sweet Charlie. Her body was climbing higher and as she neared her finish, he slid one of his fingers inside and she exploded around him.
He closed his eyes, just feeling this beautiful woman surrounding him.
“Raithe?” her voice trembled on the single word.
“Yes, love?” He kissed her thigh again, marveling at the softness.
“You never answered my question.”
He leaned up, meeting her hazel eyes. “I didn’t.”
Slowly, she pulled herself up onto her elbows. Her face was flushed, her eyes glassy. “Do you want to marry me?”
He shook his head, his insides heavy and aching. “Charlie. I’m not sure I can.”
She sat up then, pulling her skirts down. Pain lanced her face, as her eyes pulled taut in pain. “You’re not sure?”
“You are so perfect, love. It’s just that—”
“You told me your reasons.” She slipped off the bed, turning away from him. “I won’t seek you out again.”
Chapter Twelve
Charlie’s body ached. Her head, her stomach, her heart. She’d gone to Raithe’s room with her heart on her sleeve, and he’d politely declined the organ. He’d touched her, of course. What had she expected from a rake really?
She’d covered her mouth with her hands. Her education with a rake was complete. He’d taught her, exactly as he’d promised, all of the benefits and certainly all of the drawbacks. At least, she supposed, he hadn’t deflowered her. All wasn’t lost in terms of her future but as far as love went, she held back a fresh wave of tears, she might be ruined forever.
The sun slowly set, the sky growing darker with each passing minute. She should dress for dinner but she didn’t have the heart. Instead, she sent word down that she wasn’t feeling well and requested a tray in her room. Then she lay back on her bed.
Her mind began to spin once again. She’d be alone forever. Her brother had found his happily ever after, and so had her cousin. Only she’d be le
ft to fend for herself, no one to protect her from the world. No one to love her.
Her eyes squeezed shut as she lay on her bed, an ocean breeze filling the room from the doors out onto the balcony.
“Charlie,” a deep voice called from the shadows.
Her heart squeezed in her chest. Raithe. “Go away,” she replied. “I don’t want to see you.”
He stepped into the room. “Well. I need to see you.”
“Why?” She shook her head, frowning. “You haven’t completely finished rejecting me?”
“Charlie.” He crossed over to the bed. “I wasn’t rejecting you. My past. It holds me in place. I…”
She lifted her head, raising up on her arms. Her eyes were puffy and she likely looked dreadful but she didn’t care. “Do all rakes have a dark and painful past that makes them who they are?”
One side of his mouth turned up. “I don’t know. My guess is some of them are just bad.”
She nodded. “That makes sense. I’d like to imagine the ones with secret pain are the ones that can heal, but in your case…” She paused, swinging her feet over the other side of the bed so that the entire mattress would separate them, “that doesn’t seem to be the case.”
“Did you intend to reform me?” he asked, leaning down on the bed.
She looked down at the floor. “No. Of course not. I just…” She’d fallen in love. Her hands pressed to her stomach. “I just wanted to get to know you. To learn and to—”
“You wanted to fill your own void, Charlie. Loss has changed you too. Do you think your demons are something you can let go? Can you not go chasing trouble every time you’re hurt or lonely?”
