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I’m doing the right thing. But then she instantly doubted herself. Was she? Aunt Kaimana couldn’t watch Po forever, and Jun had been too complacent these past few months, letting Kai take care of everything. In the long run, it would have hurt Po worse if he’d stayed longer at Kai’s house. Besides, the boy needed structured preschool again and classmates, and the babysitting arrangement wouldn’t have taught him what he needed to know, no matter how great Kaimana was.
I’m doing what’s right for Po. Then she sucked in a deep breath and headed to her car, his cries still ringing in her ears.
* * *
KAI DID NOT take the news as well as Jun had hoped.
“I can’t believe you didn’t talk to me first.” Kai paced in front of her in his gym, running agitated fingers through his thick dark hair. He was angry and sullen. “You just put him in day care? And tell my aunt she’s done sitting? You couldn’t talk to me first?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” If Jun had felt uncertainty before, then defensiveness now, in this moment, wiped it clean. She found herself hardening her position. “Po is my son. I thought he needed to be in a more structured environment.” She hadn’t for a second thought Kai would be upset. She knew he looked forward to seeing the boy, but how many times during the day, despite Kaimana’s best efforts, did Po manage to interrupt them? He was just four, and keeping him away from his mother when he knew she was in the same house was an all but impossible task.
“I thought Po was happy here.”
“He is. Was. But he needs preschool. Lessons your aunt can’t provide. He needs kids his own age.” He needs some space from you, she wanted to add but didn’t. I need some space, too.
“Is this...is this about last night?” Kai somehow managed to get right at the truth of the matter, taking Jun completely off guard.
“N-no,” she stuttered, but didn’t meet his eye.
“It is. It’s about last night.” Kai blew out a frustrated breath. “That doesn’t have anything to do with Po.”
“He almost found...almost found you in my...” Jun’s face burned. “I can’t have that.”
“So you ship him off to day care? I just don’t get it. Aunt Kaimana loves Po and he loves her.” Kai was taking this far more personally than Jun had ever thought he would.
“What does it matter to you? I’m here to help you train. Po’s not part of the training.”
Kai glared at her and shook his head, as if she was missing something obvious.
“Po’s not your responsibility.”
“You’ve made that clear.” Kai let out a frustrated sigh. “You know you won’t ever be able to have a relationship with anyone if you keep pushing people away. If you keep making decisions for everyone else and not with them.”
“Who said I want a relationship?” That stopped Kai cold. He looked at her, brown eyes wide in surprise.
“Is this about you doing everything by yourself again? Just like you decided Po doesn’t need to see a therapist.”
Jun folded her arms protectively across her chest. “He doesn’t.”
“He does,” Kai said, emphatic. He softened his voice and he rubbed Jun’s shoulders. The touch sent an electric shock down her back. “You can’t do everything by yourself—no one can. You can’t fix Po, but you can get him help. Let me help you with Po. I can do that.”
Jun wasn’t ready for this. The men she’d dated before always seemed jealous of Po, always seemed to be fighting for her attention. She hadn’t expected an offer of help.
She looked down at Kai’s hands on her arms and thought of what they’d felt like on her body the night before. She just...couldn’t think when he was around. She felt as if her world were upside down. It was how she’d gotten pregnant with Po in the first place, by not thinking. By letting her hormones make her decisions for her.
Jun pulled her hands away from his. Her mother had taught her the hard way that the only one she could count on was herself.
“We’re fine. I’m fine on my own.”
“After last night, I thought maybe you’d be open to...”
