AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Well, of course, I enjoy your laughter a great deal more than your shouting fits.”
He leaned back against the counter. “That’s reasonable. Now what I intended to say before you got me sidetracked, was that maybe I’ve been too tightly focused on my job as director of Lost Angel and lost sight of how my decisions affect you.”
She tried to smile, but her lips froze in a questioning pout. “Oh?” Was all she could manage, but none of his decisions compared with the one she’d already made for him. He was serious now, all trace of laughter erased from his expression, and it only served to frighten her.
“Yeah, and while I can still justify not telling anyone that you and I are a couple, you were right about my choice putting you in too awkward a place. I’m going to come clean with Dave and Toby and tell them you’re seeing me. No, that’s still too damn arrogant, isn’t it? I’ll say we’re seeing each other. Is that better?”
When she couldn’t find the words to respond, she kissed him instead, but it was a desperate ploy rather than sincere affection. She’d disliked having to be evasive at the center, but now Luke had seen his way to tell the truth, she hated herself for not being able to do the same.
Chapter Sixteen
“You’re not eating,” Luke observed between bites of his second helping of Tuna Helper.
With her stomach twisted in knots, Catherine had found it next to impossible to swallow, but she hadn’t wanted him to notice how little she ate. “I’m not very hungry.”
“Come on, I’m not going to force you to eat, but you’re putting in pretty long days with the mural, and I don’t want you to get sick.”
She was extremely uncomfortable under such close scrutiny but tried to remain civil. “Is there any real scientific evidence that people with little appetite fall ill more often than those who gobble up everything in sight, or is that just an old wives’ tale?”
“Catherine,” Luke cajoled. “What’s wrong? If something’s bugging you, tell me about it rather than go on a hunger strike.”
She searched her mi
nd for some problem, no matter how minor, to avoid mentioning her true concern. At the point of desperation, something of real significance finally occurred to her. “Now that you mention it, I was studying for an exam this morning. I plan to take the CBEST test and look for a full-time teaching position for the fall.”
He paused in mid-bite. “Really? When did you make that decision?”
She twisted her napkin in her lap. “Actually, I’d made it before I met you at Lost Angel. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to relate to teenagers anymore, and if my volunteer work there had been a disaster, I wouldn’t be thinking about teaching again.”
Luke laid his fork very carefully on the side of his plate and sat back in his chair. “Wait a minute, let me see if I have this straight. When you came to Lost Angel, you weren’t interested in volunteering with us per se but simply in working on your rapport with teenagers?”
His expression wasn’t nearly as harsh as his question, but Catherine could see he was disappointed in her. “No, my motives weren’t entirely selfish. I really did want to volunteer with homeless teens. It’s a huge problem, and I believed I might be able to help. The fact that I had to fight you for the privilege should convince you of my sincerity.”
“Yeah, you convinced me, all right. When did you plan to tell me about your plans for the fall?”
Again, the sarcastic edge to his voice sliced her sore conscience, but certain she deserved worse, she shrugged. “I don’t know, after the mural is finished I suppose. Of course, if I don’t pass the CBEST test, and Dave was helping me with the algebra portion, then I won’t be going anywhere until I do. Besides, it’s a long time until fall, so I’ll still be volunteering for several more months.”
“Well, it’s nice to know we’d still fit into your plans.”
“Luke, I’m not leaving you, but I would like to teach again, and as you pointed out, there would be enormous problems associated with setting up a volunteer tutoring program at Lost Angel.”
“True, but rather than discuss this with me,” he asked pointedly, “you went to Dave for help?”
“You’re awfully busy, and I was just trying to be nice to Dave. But you were right, I probably gave him the wrong idea. He was very helpful, though.”
Luke stood and rested his hands on the back of his chair. “Well, that’s just great. I’ve already told you this wasn’t the best day of my life, but I try not to get into more than one fight per day with a woman, and Melissa used up my quota. Now I’m going to be really rude and walk out without helping with the dishes, but I’ll see you tomorrow morning. I’ve got the day off, and there’s nothing I’d rather do than work on the mural.”
Catherine left her chair with sufficient speed to overtake him before he’d left the kitchen. “You invited me to confide in you, but now you’re angry. I have every right to plan for my future. I haven’t done anything wrong.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “Fine, you got me, but I’m not your therapist, Catherine. You’re not paying me to respond with sympathetic questions, and I gave you my honest reaction. We’ve got nothing if we can’t be honest with each other, and springing a major decision on me like that wasn’t fair. After all, if you’re teaching, we’ll have a lot less time to spend together, and that will affect me too.”
The knot in her stomach tightened to a gut-wrenching clench. “I know, but I’m trying to get my life together. Going back into teaching will be a big step for me. I need your support.”
He leaned in to kiss her forehead. “Sure, I’ll write you a glowing reference. But the next time you go off in some new direction, will you please signal to warn me first?”
She let him walk out of her house without begging him to stay. Considering what she’d witnessed of Luke’s temper on previous occasions, his reaction to her news had been mild, but she’d still hurt him, and that increased her own anguish tenfold.
When Catherine arrived at Toby’s Saturday morning, Rafael had already been at work several hours painting the angel who had resembled Violet in his drawing. Now she was complete to the last meticulous detail, and the resemblance was strikingly accurate. He climbed down from the scaffold to observe his work and greeted Catherine warmly.
