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Gradually, the panic receded and the spots behind her eyes disappeared. Quinn took a deep, cleansing breath. “I’m fine. You can let go.”
“Sit up slowly,” Rick instructed, removing his hands. The cold voice had been replaced with his usual warm baritone… he was back to the Rick she knew and cared about.
When he withdrew, she missed his touch immediately, wishing she could curl up on his lap, bury her head in the crook of his neck, and inhale the scent of his skin. Nearly sobbing out loud at the loss of someone she never really had, Quinn sat back up in the chair, quickly rubbing away the tears that had escaped.
Rick leaned towards her from his seat, grabbing both of her hands and covering them with his. The small gesture took away the last vestiges of anxiety, letting Quinn relax until her shoulder slumped. Her Rick was back, even if it was just for a little while to comfort her in this moment, she cherished it. Embarrassed by her freak out, she began to babble.
“I’m sorry about making such a scene. I—”
“Don’t apologize for being human, Quinn. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
See, he would have comforted anyone like that. Don’t read into it and think it’s Rick caring about you.
“I’m okay. I’ll go. It’s hot out here anyway.” A shudder wracked her small body, causing her to wrap her arms around herself.
A pained look flashed across Rick’s face. He exhaled deeply, blowing the breath out between pursed lips as he looked up at the sky. Resigned, he looked at her. “I don’t know if you should drive yet. Why don’t you wait a minute to make sure you’re okay before you go?”
Quinn didn’t speak as Rick got up slowly and led her back into the house. He motioned for her to have a seat on the sofa. It was painfully obvious he was favoring one side of his body as he lowered himself down next to her.
“You never did tell me how you were injured, why you missed work.” When he sat, Quinn automatically tucked into Rick’s side without thinking, needing the closeness of his body to keep her from spiraling back into darkness.
Rick frowned at her proximity, then she could feel his tense muscles relax into her as he made the decision not to fight her on it. “Oh… yeah that. I was training a guy out of town and took a hard uppercut. Nearly knocked me out cold. When I fell there was a dumbbell on the ground. I landed on it and needed stitches. No big deal.”
Quinn sat silent for a moment. Rick’s explanation sort of made sense, but something about it didn’t feel right. “You missed work because you fell on a free weight? That doesn’t seem like the type of injury to cause someone to miss work.”
Rick’s eyes darted to the floor. “Yeah, well…” He didn’t finish his sentence.
Quinn was about to ask more questions when Rick suddenly turned to look at her, trapping her with his unwavering gaze. “Now, I want to know what happened out on the patio. What made you panic like that?”
Quinn had to will her body not to freeze up, to keep the blooming anxiety from taking root again. Swallowing, she knew she couldn’t make things right unless she told Rick about Travis, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. She was not going to play the victim, not in her new life.
Rick waited patiently for Quinn to start talking. Clearly, she didn’t want to discuss whatever it was that nearly sent her into a panic attack. He saw her tiny hands trembling as she rubbed them up and down her thighs, as if she could force them to cooperate as long as she kept them moving. Watching her anguish was killing him. He wanted to kiss away her fears, offer to take her pain and suffer in her place. She wasn’t going to talk to him— it was obvious. He was so sick of this invisible barrier between them. His secret job, her secret past… it was frustrating as hell.
See, this is why love doesn’t work. It’s too hard.
Rick remembered how his mom took off when he was a little kid, turning his dad into a total bastard, alone with three sons to raise. Right now, Rick didn’t know who was right— his dad or his brother Brandon, who thought that their dad was full of shit and that Rick needed to let love happen whenever it presented itself. The two arguments played over in his head.
Don’t let ‘em get to you son. They’ll tear your goddamn heart out. You remember that.
Dad, and Kyle… god Rick, I didn’t want to hear their bullshit. I don’t feel the same way dad does. Not all women are like mom.
He dropped his head into his hands, massaging his aching forehead. Rick was so fucking confused. Brandon sounded happy being in love, but god, his dad would think Rick was such a pussy if he could see him now, all broken up over a woman who already did exactly what his dad said she would do one day… leave.
That didn’t stop Rick from wanting her and it definitely didn’t make him feel any better. He hated that his dad was right, couldn’t deny what Quinn did. Although, she was back and trying to repair whatever they had left, which was more than his mom ever did. And Brandon— Brandon’s words gave him hope. Hope that maybe he could have something great and be happy with a woman someday.
Trying to be subtle, Rick shifted, hi
s confused cock starting to fill again simply from Quinn sitting with her warm thigh pressed against his. Much too late, he realized that inviting her inside was not a good idea. His body and his pride were too broken for what his dick desperately sought.
He coughed, needing her to either start talking or leave before his resolve broke and he led her to Dane’s guest bedroom, thus ending any chance at preserving his dignity… or his stitches. “Quinn? You were going to tell me what happened outside?”
Quinn reclined until her head was resting on the back cushion of the couch. She began speaking softly, so softly Rick had to tilt his head closer in order to hear.
“After I left home, I went to Texas A&M.”
“You went to college?” Rick smiled even though Quinn couldn’t see it. He knew she was smart. It was nice to have it confirmed.
“Yes. I have the first two years done of my computer engineering degree. It sounds silly, but I wanted to be a forensic computer specialist… a professional hacker. I was good, but—I didn’t finish.” She kept staring at the ceiling, unwilling to look at him.
