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A single tear trails down her cheek as I take her virginity. I lean down and kiss it away, whispering in her ear as I begin to rock inside her. “The worst is over, let me love you, Ellie. Let me show you how much you mean to me.” It takes everything I have to keep my voice from cracking under the powerful emotions I feel for this girl. This is so different from anyone else I’ve been with, she’s important to me, we’re important together.
Her eyelids flutter open and my Ellie is back with me. The love I know that she feels for me reflects back in the deep blue of her irises. “Yes. Love me Adam.”
With Ellie, I do something I’ve never done before in my life. I gently, slowly, make love to someone who actually means something to me. It’s not shagging or fucking or getting off. It’s emotional and heart stopping and beautiful. When Ellie starts moaning and clawing at my back, reaching out for something to steady her as the unfamiliar ache begins deep inside, I know that her orgasm is near.
“Oh God, oh God!” She cries and whimpers as she gets closer to the edge of bliss. I thrust harder, faster, each of us moaning the other’s name as we both hover on the edge of the ecstasy that we crave, that will tie us together forever.
And then we fall.
13
Adam
The loud slam of the front door sends chills up my spine from where I sit in my bedroom. It’s pretty fucking sad when you pray that your crack addicted mum is the one coming home so you won’t get your arse kicked by your abusive, piece of shit dad.
The guitar in my hands feels like lead all of a sudden. I stuff down the nervousness and stand, placing the instrument carefully on the mattress. A low shuffling sound can be heard coming from the lounge and I let out a huge breath of relief. Dad wouldn’t bother to be quiet since he’s usually so drunk that he trips and smashes his way into the flat, shouting obscenities the entire time.
I walk into the lounge and see my mum, already passed out on the filthy sofa, not that she’s ever conscious enough to care about dirt. Or food it seems. She’s thinner than the last time I saw her, which has been a few weeks at least. How she ever raised me and Danny without killing one of us from neglect is a mystery.
She moans and turns onto her back before becoming deathly still again. I stand over her for a moment, watching to make sure her bony chest is still moving up and down. I’ve done this so many times over the years that it’s pathetic. Imagine a little kid having to make sure his mum is breathing? Who does that to their child?
I take a good look at her, a really good look. My mum looks bad, and that says a lot since she never really looks like anything but the addict that she is. Her long brown hair is dull and in need of a wash. She has dark circles under her eyes, possibly faded bruises but more likely from lack of food and sleep from the drugs. She used to be pretty, the memories I have are old and faded, but I can remember a few times when her face seemed to glow and her smile was bright.
Whatever. Those days are long gone. Angry, I head back into my room, grab my guitar, and shove it into its case, slinging it up on my shoulder. Then I get my bag and put a change of clothes and my toothbrush in it in case I have to crash at Dax’s tonight. When my mum shows up, Dad isn’t usually far behind. It’s easier to avoid him than stay here and get knocked around.
The walk to Ellie’s place helps to clear my head. I don’t want her worrying about my problems on top of all of the crap she’s going through. By the time I knock on her door, I’m able to be the Adam that I want to be for her, happy, smiling, and without a care in the world.
“Adam,” Ellie’s dad says as he opens the door. “C’mon in son.” He steps back and lets me enter the tiny flat.
“Hello sir.” I put my guitar and my bag down in the entry while he closes the door behind me. Ellie’s parents are great, the type of parents every kid should have. They always make me feel like I’m welcome in their home, no judgmental looks or scowls sent my way.
“Have you eaten anything, Adam? We have some dinner leftover.” Ellie’s mum gets up from the sofa and walks over to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge. Even with cancer, feeling like crap from the chemo and her bald head wrapped in a colorful scarf, Ellie’s mum is a thousand times better than mine ever was.
“Ummmm.” I hesitate. I haven’t eaten much today, but I feel guilty letting Ellie’s parents feed me all the time. They must have figured out what kind of home I come from because they’re always trying to give me food in a way that doesn’t feel like charity. They’re pretty cool. “I don’t want to be a bother,” I tell her truthfully.
“It’s not a bother, Adam.” She pulls out different takeaway boxes and piles food onto a plate. Then she sticks it into the microwave to heat and gently shoves
me towards the table. “Shoo, go sit. I’ll bring it over.”
“Hi.” Ellie joins me, taking the chair next to mine, resting her chin in one hand.
“Your mum seems better,” I whisper, taking Ellie’s free hand, threading her fingers through mine.
“Yeah, it’s been a pretty good day. They found a medicine that keeps her from getting sick as much.” She leans back and rubs her tired-looking eyes.
Before I know it, a plate of hot food is slid in front of me and a large glass of water appears. “Thanks Mrs. Palmer,” I say gratefully.
“You’re very welcome dear.” She pats my shoulder and smiles. “I’m going to have a rest. You two have fun and be careful.” She turns and disappears down the hall.
Ellie’s dad is watching the news, leaving us alone in the small kitchen area. The room is quiet while I scarf down my meal. Once I’m done, I wash the plate and turn to El. “Ready?”
She stands up and smiles, but it’s forced. Whenever we’re around her mum, it’s hard for her to be happy. “Let’s go.”
* * *
“Your usual?” I ask Ellie as she slides into a booth at our favorite hangout, a small coffee shop near our school.
“Yes please.” She gives me a bright smile and I can feel her watch me as I cross the busy café and place our order at the counter.
