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“Right.” I took Ace from her arms and mussed his dark hair. “We’ll get ready and meet Mommy outside. How does that sound?”
Ace wiggled until I put him down. I no sooner fixed his bathing suit and he was off. Like a tiny tornado, Ace scurried to the mudroom, snatched a towel off the pile, which subsequently toppled over, and grabbed the bottle of sunscreen before circling back to me.
“Now, Daddy,” he demanded, thrusting the sunscreen at my hand.
I crouched down and gently bopped him on the nose with a finger. “Okay, buddy. Then I have to change into my bathing suit too.”
“Hurry.” Ace was practically dancing, he was so excited.
Miri
Pregnant.
I stared at the miniature screen, letting the news sink in. Once it did, I couldn’t stop the huge grin from spreading across my face. Another baby. Jag and I would be the parents of two children.
My reality was so incredible, so far removed from my horrific childhood and battle with addiction, it seemed as if I were living someone else’s life. I wasn’t beaten by my mother and locked in a closet for hours on end. I didn’t run away with my best friend and try to make it on my own at the age of seventeen. It certainly wasn’t me who shot heroin and whored herself for drugs. Despite the nightmares that plagued me at times, it definitely didn’t feel as if I were the one kidnapped and tortured by a madman, let alone the one who shot and killed him.
No, those things happened to someone else in another lifetime.
Life turned out to be pretty damn amazing. I married an incredible man, my protector, my savior, my lover. We had a beautiful, perfect child and were going to have another in eight months or so. I lived on the beach and spent my days helping women as desperate and broken as I once was, giving them hope the way Jag gave me mine.
I clutched the plastic stick in my hand as tears of joy spilled from my eyes. I would never have believed something so beautiful could have come from something so ugly. My scars were mine and yes, they represented how far I had to sink before finding the strength to emerge into the light.
Jag was my light. He would always be my light.
Bathing suit on and huge hat in place to cover my face, I applied a liberal amount of sunscreen and walked down the boardwalk that led from our door to the beach. Jag and Ace were tossing a small football back and forth in a game of catch. Well, they were both tossing it, but only Jag was catching the unpredictable foam ball. Ace was laughing though, and so was my husband. My heart swelled in my chest as I watched my two favorite people race up and down the sand.
I tilted my head back and looked up at the endless blue sky, thankful for everything I had been blessed with. Pregnancy test in hand, I joined my family on the beach, ready to start the next chapter in my life.
Wherever that would lead us.
