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“Nao-chan…”
“Please, please, take it back. Please don’t say that you’re leaving. Please tell me it’s not your time yet and that the doctor made a mistake.”
“Honey…” She wraps her arms around me, her voice brittle. “I’m so sorry.”
My head lies on her chest and she’s trembling. Or m
aybe I am. Maybe it’s the both of us.
I don’t even know whose sniffles are echoing in the air or whose salty tears I’m tasting.
All I know is that I can’t stop the wave of grief that confiscates me until it’s the only thing I can breathe.
Sebastian’s betrayal mixes with the news of Mom’s illness and drags me under. The sound of my breaking insides echoes so loudly in my ears that I’m momentarily deafened. Noises and motions blur in the background and it’s hard to focus.
The pain slashing through my chest is so strong, my bleeding heart is unable to take it all in and shatters into a million irreparable pieces.
Mom strokes my back like she did during the red night. She whispers soothing words in Japanese and tells me she loves me. Just like that night.
And I want to scream.
I want to stab fate in the face for being this cruel.
“I already notarized my will,” she speaks softly, though her voice is a little bit broken, a little bit tired, a little bit…dead. “You’ll inherit the couture house, my properties, and any stocks I purchased over the years. I asked Amanda to help you if you want to lead Chester Couture, but if you don’t, you can appoint an acting CEO and just judge them by their performance. But no matter what you do, don’t disappear from the executive board, they will think of you as weak and clueless. Some of those directors know nothing about art and fashion, so don’t let them have a say in any creative decisions. Believe me, they would try to intimidate you and—”
“Mom…” I pull back to stare at her. She’s having her serious mask on, the business one that’s always thinking one hundred years into the future.
“What is it, Nao?”
“I don’t care about any of that. Can’t we…can’t we get a second opinion?”
“I had a third and my options keep diminishing.”
“Can’t you have surgery or something?”
“The tumor can’t be operated on due to the low survival rates associated with it.”
“How about chemo?”
“I’m afraid it’s too late for that, too.”
A sob tears from my throat. “How…how can you be so calm about this? How can you talk about the will and the business and fuck knows what?”
“Because you’re staying, Nao. And I want to make sure you have everything you need.”
“Everything I need to live without you?”
She strokes my hair behind my ear and smiles a little. “You’re old enough.”
“I’m never old enough to be without you, Mom.”
“I used to think that, too. When I was pregnant, you were this naughty fetus who kicked me day and night to make yourself noticeable. One time, a bunch of strangers surrounded me in the supermarket just to see the entertaining ways you moved in my belly and I wanted to ward them off you, to take you and run away. And I did. I tried my best to protect you from the world. It might have to do with being an immigrant and having to adapt to a culture so much different than mine, but I found it hard to trust anyone, even your babysitters. After what happened with Sam, I decided that I couldn’t be parted from you, and that might have turned a tad too suffocating for you. It’s because I thought you would be too vulnerable in the world without me, and in a way, I still believe that. But I also see how fiercely independent you are. How genuinely you love and care, even if you don’t show it much. You remind me of myself when I was younger and if that’s of any indication, I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”
An onslaught of tears covers my cheeks. “I don’t want to, Mom. Please…please don’t go…you’re all I have.”
Her lips thin before she releases a long breath. “There’s also the father you’ve been searching for since you were a little girl.”
“You…knew?”
