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I’ll lose Alex. They’ll put him in foster care. I’ll just be one more adult that let the poor guy down. I don’t know if he can recover from a shock like that. He’s had too many already. He may never trust anyone ever again.
I bury my face in my hands and cry, trying to keep it quiet. I’m completely hopeless and I have no idea what to do now.
Twenty-Five
Ashley
I reach the relative safety of our suite and close the door behind me, every fibre of my being trembling with rage and terror. I can’t believe that Jess was that stupid. Why would she confide in anyone what was going on when she could end up in jail because of it?
And even if she was going to spill everything why couldn’t she have picked somewhere not in public? It’s her life on the line, not mine! My family will survive another scandal but hers will fall apart if she ends up in prison for fraud.
My vision blurs a little and I realise that I’m breathing far too fast and that my cheeks are wet. I’m not crying, I refuse to be crying. I’m not going to cry over some stupid little idiot of a shop girl who can’t keep her mouth shut to save her life. If she doesn’t care enough to take care of herself why should I?
Fuck.
I shouldn’t have let it get this far. This is all my fault. Sandy is a sweet guy, I’m sure if Jess and Alex had told him at the start what had happened he would have been able to sort it out for them. Instead I got them involved in my madcap plan and put their lives in danger.
I should have kept her at arms length, I should have at least drilled it into her head how important secrecy was. She’s sweet and innocent and wonderful and she doesn’t deserve to be blackmailed or to go to prison. I have to fix this, no matter how mad I am at her for telling everyone what is going on.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial, and for once I’m not amused when Robin’s cranky ‘What have you done now?’ comes from the other side of the line. “We’ve got trouble,” I say shortly and he goes silent immediately. I don’t think he’s used to me sounding sop business-like. I’m not used to it either.
Adrenalin is still coursing through me so I pace up and down the cabin as I explain exactly what the situation is. I don’t spare myself in the retelling. I tell him about how I got a single mother involved in my scheme and pretended that we were him and Emily and how De Haverland has found out and is blackmailing us with threat of exposure in return for getting hold of Carmichael Hotel plans for him.
Robin doesn’t say anything until I stop, panting a little and clenching my fist so tight that my nails bite into my palms.
Then he starts and his voice is ice-cold. “Are you telling me that you stole my engagement cruise while I am fixing your messes, impersonated me and Emily, used my name to get it on with some poor stranger and took advantage of the whole thing to yank my chain for nearly a week and a half now? And now you’ve gotten us into even more scandal with the De Haverlands no less? Is that what you’re telling me, Ashley?”
I swallow hard. I’ve often made my big brother mad but I don’t think he’s ever sounded this disappointed before and I feel a rush of shame for how much he has to put up with because of me. “Yes, that’s what I’m saying, Robin.”
“And you want me to swoop in and make everything better? Why should I, Ash? Why should I when you’re just going to laugh and go off and do something even worse?”
“Not for me, Rob!” I burst out, a sincerity in my voice that hasn’t been there before when speaking to him. “I fucked up bad and I’m really sorry, though I know you might not believe that and I don’t blame you. But this is all my fault and Jess shouldn’t have to have her life ruined because I’m a fuck up.”
“You’re sorry?” he says, surprised.
Have I never told him I’m sorry before? I think back and try to remember. Usually everything seems far too hilarious to apologise for. “Yeah, I’m really sorry. I was way out of line and I’m going to be making up to you for a while, but I really need your help in getting De Haverland off our cases.”
There’s another silence but I think it’s less cold this time.
“Okay,” he says eventually. “You’re taking this seriously so I am too. I’ll make things alright with the Golden Hind, so that will defang De Haverland. What I need you to do is get him to put what he wants down in writing. If he does that then we can go after him and his company for corporate espionage.”
“Yeah?” I ask, surprised at how seriously he’s talking. It sounds like he trusts me and I didn’t expect that to feel so good. “I can do that. I think.”
“Good. Let me know when it’s done. Don’t worry about being exposed, I’ll make sure that your Jess doesn’t end up in any legal trouble.”
We hang up and I find myself shaking a little as I lower myself into a chair. I didn’t even correct his snide ‘your Jess’ even though I know what he was thinking. I need a plan to get De Haverland to do what we want but every time I try to think it through I find myself thinking of Jess’s pale betrayed face.
Fuck.
What’s wrong with me.
There’s a knock on the door and I hope it’s Jess. I’m not over being angry but maybe if she’s here I won’t be worrying about her all the time and I’ll be able to put together some sort of plan to get our asses out of the fire.
To my surprise, it’s Marsha from the clothes store and her two gold digger friends Gail and Sarah. They’re dressed in some very revealing, figure-hugging dresses and as I gape at them in confusion they push past me into the suite. Marsha closes the door and sends me a sugary smile that is all too many sharp edges to be sincere.
“Hi Miss Carmichael,” Gail says. “We’re here to let you know that we know you’re not really Robin Carmichael.”
