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"No, I'm not ready to retire. I should like to read in the library—if you do not object?" she asked Darnell.
"Not in the least. I'll walk you up."
In a silence overlaid with the intensity of the connection between them, she slowly climbed the stairs, once again reluctant to reach her destination and have to send him on his way. Finally, as he opened the door for her, she could delay his departure no longer.
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"Thank you for your consideration in handling Aunt Lillian and taking me home," she said quietly. "I suppose I must now insist that you return to the ball."
He sighed. "I suppose you must. But I shall go at ease, knowing you are safely deposited in my library."
Helena thought of the night she'd first encountered him here—
and wondered if he were remembering it, too. Perhaps so, for as he motioned her inside and walked her to the hearth, she felt the strength of the current already flowing between them intensify.
They reached the sofa by the fire, but instead of bowing and leaving, as he should, he lingered, gazing at her. Watching how the glow of the fire played over her face, her hps, as she was watching it illumine his?
To try to diffuse the tension building between them, she said a little nervously, "Might I beg one last favor? In future, could you screen my invitations and recommend only those entertainments which will be less crowded?"
"I'd be happy to—though that will limit your outings, since many of the ton events are quite large."
"I've no need to attend a party every night. And will you help me convince Aunt Lillian and Charis to go out and allow me to stay at home with my books?"
"If you are sure that is what you want."
What she wanted... Knowing she dared not stare at his lips and say what she wanted, she looked into the fire. "You.. .must go now. Pray convey my apologies to Aunt Lillian and particularly to Miss Standish for having taken you away from her. And.. .thank you." She couldn't keep herself from looking up one more time into his face—
218 THE UNTAMED HEIRESS
that handsome face with its straight nose, determined chin and gray-green eyes that was fast becoming far too dear to her. "I think you are the kindest gentleman I've ever known."
For a moment he did not reply. His hazel eyes seemed to glow with the fire's heat as he bent toward her. "I wish I could be more than 'kind.'"
Something sweet and heavy pooled in her chest, made her limbs feel hot and liquid. Her eyes on his, without conscious volition, she rose on tiptoe and lifted her face as his lips descended.
She felt the warmth of his breath against her mouth and closed her eyes. And then, suddenly, cool air washed where his breath had heated and her eyes snapped open.
"You are right. I must go," he said, his voice sounding strained. "I bid you good night, Miss Lambarth."
"And I you, Darnell." But she whispered those words to his back, for he had already paced to the door, where he exited without a backward glance.
Heart pounding, feeling somehow...bereft, Helena sank down on the sofa. She sat motionless, staring into the fire, her thoughts, like the flames on the hearth, flitting in all directions while her pulse calmed and the sensations coursing through her body slowed and ceased.
The book Helena had been reading lay on the side table, but at the moment, it didn't tempt her. Pensively she rose and went to
pour herself some wine, trying to order her thoughts.
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She supposed Darnell must be correct about her reaction to overcrowded rooms. In future she would restrict her social engagements to musicales, dinners, routs or card parties involving no more guests than could be accommodated in a dining room or large salon.
Once again he'd surprised and touched her, as he had over the matter of Nell and Dickon. In high dudgeon when he'd summoned her, she'd gone to confront him certain he would rebuke her and order their dismissal. Instead he'd listened to her—and changed his mind, not seeming to think it a weakness to alter his opinion based on the arguments of a mere girl. She had been surprised—
and grateful.
Nor had he chided her tonight for her overreaction, argued with her to return to the ball or mocked her cowardice. Instead, despite the disturbance he had to know it would cause with Miss Standish, he had insisted on seeing her safely home.
He truly was the nicest man she'd ever met—including Mr.
Pendenning. But the kindly lawyer did not inspire in her the sort of feelings Adam Darnell had incited tonight.
As for the culmination of their interlude in the library tonight, Helena wasn't sure what to think. Darnell had been about to kiss her, she was certain. And she had certainly wanted him to kiss her.
Just remembering the enchantment of his nearness, the warmth of his breath on her lips, revived those powerful sensations and sent them once again spiraling through her body. She shifted
restlessly, the silk of her gown sliding over her skin and making it tingle.
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How would it feel were Darnell's fingers, rather than the silk, skimming over her body?
Her breathing shuddered and her nipples tightened, while warmth pooled between her thighs. So this must be desire, she thought. She wanted more, to experience rather than imagine his closeness.
But that couldn't be—for either of them. He was pledged to Miss Standish and so would not allow himself the pleasure of kissing her—as wonderful as she suspected it would be. So strong was her response to him, she knew it was wiser that she not kiss him, either.
She'd observed enough of her mother's horse-breeding operations to guess where desire between a man and a woman would lead. Though she'd vowed not to marry so she might never again be legally bound to another man's rule, she'd forsworn wedlock at least as much from the conviction that she must never take a husband to her bed and bear a child.
A child who carried the tainted blood of a man who had abused and imprisoned his own daughter.
Still, she thought, the sweet sensations continuing to hum through her, she would Uke to taste desire, if only for a kiss. Did this odd, compelling excitement exist only between her and Darnell?
The fact that Darnell was about to wed and bed another lady argued that the feeling was not exclusive between one particular man and woman. Though she'd not felt as strong a pull to anyone else, perhaps she might feel attraction to another man. Perhaps she should invite a kiss that would give her a sample of passion.
Perhaps with Mr. Dixon? He was appealingly handsome, an interesting companion—and had pledged to satisfy her curiosity even on "forbidden" matters.
Helena had a strong suspicion the business of kissing fell into that category.
She would definitely pursue this with Mr. Dixon. Even though, she thought with a sigh as she picked up her book, she would much rather kiss Adam Darnell.
CHAPTER 17
Not wishing to have to explain herself that evening, Helena retired to her chamber before the Darnell party returned. But knowing her aunt would be concerned— and having had sufficient time to work out her explanation—she was ready when, just before noon the next day, Lady Darnell sent Nell to ask that she join her in the back parlor for nuncheon.
To Helena's surprise, she discovered as she walked in that Adam Darnell was present, as well. Though he gave her only a polite nod, the glance that passed between them was nearly as potent as a touch.
Assuring them she was feeling quite recovered, Helena explained her abrupt departure from the ball, after which Lady Darnell asserted she was glad Adam had found Helena before she
managed to go off alone in a hackney.
"And I can only hope Miss Standish accepted my apology for dragging him off so precipitously," Helena replied.
A small frown briefly creased Darnell's forehead before he said, "She understood your position per- 223
fectly and will, I know, rejoice to know you are feeling well again."
So she might not distract Darnell's attention, Helena concluded. 'Twas well that lady had not witnessed what had nearly happened between them in the library. Helena felt her cheeks flush, remembering, and from the sudden spark in Darnell's eyes before he turned away to busy himself with his coffee cup, she sus pected he was recalling it, too.
"I'm so disappointed you felt compelled to leave the ball,"
Lady Darnell said, pulling Helena's attention back to the present.
"Such a crowd of gentlemen! I lost count of how many begged for introductions and were quite dismayed that you left before they could secure one."
Darnell frowned. "I expect 'twas exactly that crowd who brought on Miss Lambarth's headache, Bellemère."
"So you told me last night," Lady Darnell said, looking back to Helena. "Though perhaps 'twas just the heat. The room was so stuffy, I felt a bit faint myself."
"I've thought about it carefully and have concluded, as Darnell
posited, that 'twas indeed the crush of people that disturbed me. I grew up in such.. .isolation, I suppose I cannot be easy with so large a group about."
"But as you grow more used to Society, perhaps— "
"No, Aunt Lillian," Helena interrupted. "I am sorry to disappoint you, but I disliked t he experience intensely and do not wish to repeat it. But you mustn't feel you or Charis need avoid balls on my account. As I told Darnell, I shall be perfectly fine at home with my books."
