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He needs to run, not be shut up in a box stall for days on end."
Still glowing, she turned to Dix. "I can't thank you enough for obtaining him, Mr. Dixon. Darnell, I hope you've not been taking Mr. Dixon to task for purchas ing me such a spirited mount. As you have seen, I have no trouble managing him. Indeed, we understand each other perfectly."
Before Adam could reply, after a pointed look at him, Dix said, "No, we've just been agreeing that the two of you create.. .an arresting picture. But so appeal ing, I hope you will allow me to ride with you every time you go out, to keep the importunate from bothering you."
She laughed. "Stuff! No one could catch us anyway! Though, if you choose to ride early enough, Mr. Dixon, I shall be pleased to have your escort. Now, let's have an easy canter to cool Pegasus down before any more riders arrive in the park. You will accompany us, Darnell?"
"No, Miss Lambarth. I was on my way to my solicitor's and just happened by. I shall leave you in Mr. Dixon's—" he gritted
his teeth over the word "—capable care."
237
After exchanging a curt nod with his friend, Adam wheeled his mount and headed out of the park. Dix's sharp words stung, all the more so because they were true. Adam did desire her. In fact, so jealous and furious had lust rendered him, it had taken all his control and breeding to cede her escort to Dix and ride out of the park.
Hie himself back to his fiancée, indeed! Thank heavens Miss Standish did not rouse him to such uncomfortable excesses of emotion. Riding a firestorm from anger to lust to jealousy and back would not be a comfortable way to live. Much better to have a wife whom one respected and admired, who inspired one with more temperate emotions.
Or was the fact that Miss Lambarth could spark in him feelings—both lust and respect—so much more intense than those roused by his fiancée a warning that he might have been too precipitous in his choice?
Had his engagement to Priscilla been a mistake?
Shocked and dismayed by the thought, Adam's mind fled from that conclusion. Since his engagement was a fait accompli and could not be broken, there was no point pursuing suc h reflections, he told himself firmly. He would leave Miss Lambarth to Dix and fix his thoughts on the business that took him to his solicitors.
Forcing himself to begin mentally reviewing reports on acreage and yields, he absently directed his horse toward the City.
But that awful snippet of doubt, like a burr on a saddle blanket, stuck at the back of his mind and refused to be dislodged.
CHAPTER 18
In the late evening ten days later, Helena sat on the sofa before the library fire, reading—or rather, attempting to read. An edgy restlessness had made it nearly impossible for her to keep her mind on the story. After realizing she'd just looked over the same Greek phrase a fifth time, she gave up and put aside the book.
She poured herself a glass of wine, but the warming liquid worked no better than the book in quelling the sensation that made her feel like a caged beast.
So anxious was she for fresh air and activity, she'd almost agreed to accompany Charis and Aunt Lillian to the ball tonight.
But stifling in noisy, overcrowded rooms would not banish the agitation that drove her to spring up and pace the library.
Even at the musicales she was ringed about by too many people. The desire for freedom and solitude had become an almost physical ache. How she yearned to go out all alone, as she had roamed through the night forests of Lambarth!
Small chance of that. It seemed that a gently bred girl could not step out her front door unaccompanied. Her aunt insisted that if she wished to go anywhere, she take the carriage along with Nell and a footman.
She had hoped riding Pegasus would quell the sense of being trapped that had grown more acute with every day she spent in London. But though she had a wonderful mount to gallop, she'd found that even when leaving at dawn, she was required to bring along a groom, whose presence precluded going off afterward to explore the city. And once it become known that she went early to the park, she began encountering not just Mr. Dixon, but a crowd of other men.
Some were bold enough to call at the house, though her blatant indifference discouraged all but the most persistent—
notably Dixon and Lord Blanchard. Both stopped by almost daily, but having quickly noted how often the diplomat's glance strayed from her to rest on Charis, Helena was quite sure Blanchard didn't come to see her.
When she'd teased Charis about meir caller, her friend had replied with a sigh that Helena must be mistaken. Blanchard's duty required him to wed a woman of wealth, and he was too noble and courteous to raise hopes he would be unable to fulfill.
Charis had then quickly turned the subject, leaving Helena unable to determine the exact depth of her friend's feeling for the handsome diplomat.
Though she might not be certain of Charis's thoughts on matrimony, she was still certain of her own. But despite her boycott of balls and refusal to attend Almack's, it seemed the ton had not been persuaded that she had no intention of bestowing her hand—and the fortune she reportedly possessed—on 240 THE UNTAMED HEIRESS
some persistent suitor. At the few Society functions she did attend, she found herself thronged by single gentlemen, from callow lads just out of Oxford whose downy chi ns had scarce seen a razor to bewhiskered widowers on the catch for a rich new wife.
She could only imagine it was the challenge of a woman who dressed to please herself and turned up her nose at matrimony that continued to capture their at tention.
Or perhaps, she mused, whatever it was about her that brought the lustful looks to their faces—and Darnell's.
She paused by the hearth, its heat recalling the maelstrom of sensations Adam inspired in her. A memory that did nothing to soothe her agitation.
Oh, to have been born a man, who might go anywhere at any time of day or night! From exclusive clubs to gaming hells and brothels, all of London was accessible to them. Whereas a lady couldn't even inquire about, much less explore, such places.
Places a girl might learn the secrets of desire.
Her pacing having produced no results, Helena decided to slip down to the kitchen. Perhaps a bit of Cook's good ham would calm her enough that she could sleep.
She moved silently down the service stairs into the kitchen, where the banked fire and a lantern turned low beside a dozing footman provided a fitful illumination. She was about to enter the larder when a stealthy scratching sound at the door made her freeze.
Slowly she backed to the wall, reaching as she re-JULIA J USTISS 241
treated for the homemade dagger she kept tied to her leg. She had the knife drawn and ready to strike when the kitchen door opened and a small figure crept in.
Dickon! Relief and amusement filled her. Nell or Harrison would likely provide the boy a close acquaintance with a leather belt, were they to discover him sneaking back in the middle of the night. What had he been up to?
Helena waited until the boy, his eyes on the sleeping footman, was abreast of her. Then she sprang out, pinching his nose closed with one hand and applying pressure with the thumb of her other hand to the vulnerable spot beneath his windpipe, as Mad Sally had taught her. With him incapacitated, she whispered in his ear,
"Hush! It's Miss Helena. Come with me to my chamber."
She held the boy until she was sure he understood her command before releasing him. Hand to his throat, he silently followed Helena up to her room.
Safely within, she turned to face Dickon. "What were you thinking, creeping about like that? If Charles had awakened, Harrison and Nell both would have your hide!"
"Charles don't never rouse. When he's on duty, I can always get out and back with no one the wiser."
"So you've done this before?"
Realizing his mistake, Dickon tried at first to deny it, but at length admitted that, in the past few weeks, he'd slipped out frequently.
"And what do you do out there?"
"Meet up with me workhouse mates and go for a 242 THE UNTAMED HEIRESS
taste of blue ruin and some cards. Maybe earn a copper standing outside where toffs are having their to-dos, holding their horses." He shuffled nervously. "You ain't going to turn me in to Nell or Mr. Harrison, are you?"
Helena's reflection that Nell had been wise to try to remove Dickon from the influence of St. Marylebone was swiftly succeeded by a more exciting idea.
"I really should tell Nell. But perhaps I shall keep your secret..
.if you agree to help me."
"Anything, miss!" Dickon said eagerly.
"First you must obtain me some boy's clothing. Then I want you to take me to some of the places you go."
Dickon stared at her. "In the middle of the night, with you dressed as a lad? You're mad, Miss! I couldn't never do such a thing!"
"You needn't bring me to play cards or drink with your mates, where my chances of being found out are greater. I just want to be able to walk alone, without a maid and footmen on my heels.
Watch where gentlemen go, observe what they do. What safer way than to dress as a lad—who goes everywhere and attracts the attention of no one?"
"But them streets ain't safe by half, even for such as me," he objected. "There be some very bad men about!"
"We shall avoid the most dangerous areas. I can't imagine the cutpurses working the crowds by the theaters would bother us. If the worst occurs, I have my knife and can use it. I did well enough tonight, didn't I?"
