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"Then let me live with you, protect you, love you."
Not sure whether it was love, loyalty or a secret desire to tweak Society that had promoted his unexpected declaration, she said, "Mere words cannot express how honored I am. But I cannot accept your offer. I fear, by kissing you, I have already imposed grievously upon your friendship. I never wish to marry."
"Perhaps you need the right gentleman to persuade you."
"I cannot be persuaded—and I have made you uncomfortable in the bargain. Forgive me."
He rose and took an agitated turn about the room. "It's Darnell, isn't it?" he asked, gazing back at her. "He will never break his word to Miss Standish, you know."
A bit alarmed that he had guessed her secret, Helena avoided a direct answer. "I would not have him break it."
"Then why not consider my suit?"
"I am leaving London soon. May we not part as friends?"
"You are resolved upon this?"
"I've long wished to travel." She gave him a depre-336 THE UNTAMED HEIRESS
cating smile. "I believe I've just been given the perfect opportunity to do so. As it happens, Lady Seagrave is about to set out for the Caribbean, and I have agreed accompany her."
"You cannot be dissuaded? I sho uld always be proud to stand by you and support you, even as just a friend."
"And I am honored by your friendship. But I must go."
He studied her for a long moment, then sighed. "I suppose
there is nothing left for me to do but to once again express my deepest admiration and devotion. I wish you well on your journey! Remember, if you ever change your mind, England and I would rejoice to welcome you home."
Bowing low, he kissed her hand and walked out.
Thoughtfully, Helena watched him go. Her guilt at refusing him was lessened by noting that he did not appear to be a man whose fondest hopes had been crushed. She suspected that, had she been unwise enough to accept his offer, the admiration he felt for her
"unconventional" spirit would have swiftly dwindled once he discovered his scandalous bride caused him not just to be barred from the balls and dinners he deemed "dull," but also to be denied admission to his clubs and cut by many of his peers.
As for her plans for Adam, though Mr. Dixon's kiss had been mildly titillating, it had not come close to igniting within her the intensity of desire, the tenderness or the sense of completeness Adam's had.
A shiver of excitement swirled in her belly. Since it appeared only Adam could create the magic she'd felt 337
in his arms, she was more anxious than ever to recreate that experience and allow all those feelings full play.
Grateful as she was to Mr. Dixon for showing her how to begin, she still wanted a bit more instruction in the art of seduction. If she hurried, she should catch the Divine Alice before she left for her rendezvous.
Some time later, Lady SeagrAve's carriage deposited her at Darnell House. Helena entered to find Harrison himself stationed by the door.
"Miss Lambarth, welcome back!" he cried. "Lady Darnell wished me to inform you that she and Miss Charis would like to see you at your earliest conveni ence."
Surprised and warmed by the concern evident in Harrison's normally impassive face, Helena handed him her cloak. Though she'd suspected her aunt would not allow her to slip away without a struggle, her chest tightened at her new family's demonstration of support even as she dreaded what would no doubt be a heart-wrenching meeting.
All the more reason to get it over with quickly, she told herself. "Then I shall go immediately," she replied. Squaring her shoulders, she followed him up the stairs.
As soon as Harrison admitted her, both Lady Darnell and Charis rushed over to embrace her. "That hateful girl!" Aunt Lillian said through a haze of tears. "I shall leave this house the minute Adam brings her here as his bride. But you mustn't despair, my dear. I am still Somebody. If we retire to the country until the next scandal captures the attention of the ton, we can still—"
338 THE UNTAMED HEIRESS
"Dearest Aunt Lillian!" Helena interrupted her, feeling guiltier than ever that instead of the reproaches she deserved for bringing scandal down upon them, her aunt was thinking only of redeeming Helena's position. "I cannot tell you how grateful I am, but I refuse to allow you to put yourself out any further on my behalf."
"You cannot think us so poor-spirited as to desert you!" Charis said. "I should not have consented to leave you last night, had Adam and Nathan not both said 'twould be better to let you go with Lady Seagrave and end the incident quickly rather than prolong it by arguing."
"Indeed, we shall all stand by you," Lady Darnell affirmed.
"As soon as Charis is wed, let us go to Claygate. By the Little Season, much of the talk will have died down . I doubt the highest sticklers will ever be induced to receive you, and naturally Almack's is out of the question, but my friends, who value you for yourself, will send enough invitations to keep us tolerably amused."
"My dear Aunt Lillian, retire to Claygate if you wish, but I cannot accompany you. Perhaps later, when all has passed into memory, I may visit you—or Charis, at whatever embassy she is gracing as hostess. If you still want to acknowledge me then. For you see, there is more to the scandal eve n than what Lady Cordeha revealed last night. Something quite shocking, of which I have only just learned myself. Will you not sit while I explain?"
Briefly, Helena detailed what Lady Seagrave had told her, finishing by informing them she meant to 339
journey with her grandmother to meet Gavin. Though at first, Aunt Lillian gasped and nearly swooned, after reviving she declared that even if Helena meant to ac knowledge Seagrave as her father, the Darnell family would support her.
"Then you are far too good! Not that I mean to post a notice in the Times, but as I plan to spend time with Lady Seagrave, sooner or later, the secret will be out. I'm not sure which would be worse
for you—to be connected to a hoyden who sneaks about the city in mas culine dress, or to have housed the illegitimate daughter of a privateer."
"To us, you are just 'our Helena' and we love you," Charis said fiercely. "Can we not persuade you to stay?"
Were it for their love only, she might be swayed. But she knew she could not remain and conceal for long the strength of her feelings for Adam—and she had already exposed them to scandal enough.
Feeling the burn of tears again, she shook her head. "I'm sorry.
I love you both dearly, and I shall be very sorry to miss your wedding, Charis, but I must go."
While Lady Darnell reached for her handkerchief, Charis gave her a long, searching look. "I understand," she said, giving Helena a hug. "Damn Priscilla! Do what you must, my dearest Helena.
Remember that wherever you travel, you will always find a welcome with Nathan and I."
After more hugs all around, Helena insisted they not cancel their plans to attend the ball to which Lord Blanchard was to escort them later in the evening. Leaving them to complete their preparations, she returned to her room to set Nell packing. Then, after the ladies departed, she went to the library to wait for Adam.
CHAPTER 24
Several hours later, Helena seated herself before the blazing hearth, garbed in the white silk night rail she had worn the first evening she'd encountered Darnell in the library. The first time she'd seen on his face what she later came to recognize as desire.
A desire she intended tonight to satisfy to the fullest.
Since she was far too nervous for any book to hold her attention, she was relieved when, after a time spent alternately pacing and sitting on the sofa, she heard his footsteps in the hallway, followed by a knock at the door.
She looked up at him as he entered, tier heart swelling with gladness at the sight of his dear face, though its expression was solemn. The tingling awareness of his presence that always struck her when he came into a room enveloped her, comforting in its intensity. Soon she hoped to take that awareness to a new level entirely.
He halted in the center of the room when he saw her. A flash of strong emotion crossed his face before he mastered his expression and walked to her. Almost at the sofa, he stopped again, as if not trusting himself to
342 THE UNTAMED HEIRESS
sit beside her. "I talked with Bellemère this afternoon. She told me you intended to leave us. To leave London."
Hearing the strain in his voice, Helena's own reply wobbled. "I think it would be b-best."
He turned abruptly, anguish in his eyes as he faced her. "How can I ever apologize adequately for bringing this misfortune upon you? I never dreamed Priscilla would breach so sensitive a confidence—a confidence I should never have uttered, had I dealt with her more adroitly. I am deeply ashamed at having broken your trust."
Curling her fingers into fists to resist the urge to smooth the lines from his face, Helena said, "As keen an interest as that lady takes in my errors, I expect she pounced upon the opportunity to wheedle it out of you."
Adam grimaced. "So she did. But that does not excuse my fault in giving her the chance to do so. I haven't been able to talk with her yet about last night's incident —her mother denied me both times I called, saying she was 'indisposed'—but I shall speak with her tomorrow if I have to break down her bedchamber door."
