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He headed back outside, hoping Madre and Juanita could manage to keep Anna’s attention occupied until he got back.
As quickly as he could, he took the saddle off the horse and turned it loose in the paddock. It hadn’t been ridden long enough to break a sweat. But he was sweating the deception going on inside enough to make up for it.
* * *
Anna leaned to see Rafael past the bulk of his mother. She was talking half in Spanish and half in English in a disconcerting way. Just as Anna would open her mouth to say something, Mrs. Werner would fill the air with babble. Or Juanita would dart in between them. Rafael caught her eye and winked.
Nervously, she attempted to return his smile. Was it too much to hope that she might be able to have a private conversation with her fiancé?
“Excuse me,” Anna said. “May we have some time—?”
Mrs. Werner interrupted her. “Do you need coffee, Miss O’Malley?”
“—alone?”
Shaking his head, Rafael put his hand over hers. “Danny needs to...eat.”
She jerked her hand back. She wasn’t even sure why. Then she felt horrible. He was to be her husband, but she didn’t know him yet. Or was she just reacting to his refusal to spend time alone with her? Surely as the owner he could dismiss everyone with a snap of his fingers. But of course Daniel needed nourishment, too, and Rafael’s concern for his brother was a good thing. She wanted to marry a man who had regard for his family’s well-being. She was counting on his sense of familial obligation.
“Yes, I would like coffee.” What she’d really like was a chance to talk to Rafael—alone—or at least with less activity around them. And really get to know him. Perhaps after the late supper for the men, they’d allow them a bit of time to talk.
Pressing her lips together, she felt like an island in the swirl of activity around Rafael. Mrs. Werner dropped a kiss on her older son’s forehead as if her hug had not been enough greeting. Juanita pressed close to Rafael, almost against his side. Her gaze was intent on him, while he seemed oblivious to the young girl’s interest. Or was he simply used to being the center of attention?
What drew them to him, she didn’t know. Yet. Surely as she got to know him, she would feel it, too. Right now she felt as empty as the grassland around the house. But once Rafael emerged as the man who had written her long letters about the beauty of the valley, the sweet scent of the orange trees in bloom, the warmth of the sun on the earth, then the hollowness in her chest would fill. His lack of attention had confused her, but he was here now.
Rafael squinted and leaned back in his chair, watching her. Mrs. Werner moved the lamp to the far end of the table, leaving his face in shadow. Daniel’s warnings about disappointing Rafael rang in her ears. She squirmed on the hard chair, but it wasn’t the chair that was uncomfortable; it was her skin.
“Juanita,” shouted Mrs. Werner although the girl was right there.
Anna jerked out of the way as Juanita poured. She didn’t want to risk more stains to her green silk. The girl shot her a dark look. Then she set down the coffeepot and slapped plates on the table. Juanita stood between her and Rafael as if to keep him from Anna. She wanted to draw the girl aside and warn her Rafael was too old for her. In a few years when Juanita was grown, there would be another man who would see how pretty she was with her long dark hair and sloe eyes. Anna suspected her concern wouldn’t be well received, but perhaps she would be able to help when the calf love spell was shattered.
“How do you...like it here?” asked Rafael.
Her gaze shot back toward her fiancé. His brows drew together as he waited for her answer.
“I believe I would like it better if I actually had a moment to get to know you.” Her stomach tightened. Her first time to actually talk to Rafael and she’d gotten distracted by Juanita.
He gave her the ghost of a smile, but she didn’t believe he was amused. Then again, she had sounded a bit waspish.
She tried again. “When are we getting married?”
That really wasn’t any better. She tried to think of what a cultured lady would say in this situation, but nothing came to her. Of course, it always seemed that ladies were very good at saying things without actually saying anything directly, but it wasn’t her way to dance around an issue.
Heat cascaded through her as she remembered the dance with Daniel. Her cheeks burned as she tried to dismiss that. It was nothing but a bit of flirtation. She was with the man she intended to marry now, and her focus should be on him.
“Soon.” Rafael’s smile seemed more genuine this time, but she wondered if she was being laughed at. His attention shifted to Juanita, and he said a word to her that Anna didn’t recognize.
Juanita’s lips thinned as she cast a glance toward Anna. Maybe he had told the girl to give them space. Anna tried to give her a sympathetic glance, but Juanita whirled away.
“I should...court you.” Rafael’s gaze landed back on Anna. “First.”
Court her? Was that necessary? “Why?”
He tilted his head. “Don’t you want...courting?”
Courting was nice and all, but she hadn’t expected it. Her face burned, and for the thousandth time in her life she wished her skin revealed less. “I hadn’t thought on it. Weren’t the letters our courtship?”
He studied her for a minute before he said, “Not at all.”
His slow way of talking had her scooting to the edge of her seat, trying to hurry his words. Something was off about him, but as she tried to figure it out, Juanita stepped between them and poured a generous dollop of whiskey into his coffee.
A sick feeling settled in her belly. The way he’d been slumping in the saddle as he rode up might indicate this wasn’t his first drink. “Have you been drinking already?”
“A bit.”
Her throat tightened. In her family a “wee bit” could translate to a whole lot. She didn’t know how much it meant with Rafael. He didn’t seem drunk, but his skin glistened in the light that did reach him. Perhaps he was nervous around her and needed the libation to calm him. But in any case it wouldn’t be the least bit ladylike if she were to complain about his drinking before they were even man and wife. She desperately wanted to like him, but so far she was more irritated than intrigued. She swallowed hard.
The man of the letters she’d liked. She just had to remember Rafael was the one who had written her—although it appeared Daniel was as familiar with the contents of the letters as she was. She had to put that thought out of her head. The brothers were close. No doubt they shared everything with each other, the same way her brothers Patrick and Sean told each other everything.
Folding her hands in her lap, she searched for a nonthreatening topic. “Your brother tells me horse thieves are a rare thing.”
“Never before,” said Rafael. Then he coughed weakly.
Perhaps that was nervousness. Lord knew she was nervous, too. Although not as much as she’d expected to be. Instead, she was blank and waiting for an indication that life with Rafael as her husband would be...enjoyable.
With the land he owned, at least there would never be a night sleeping huddled against the bricks of a building because the landlord had forced them to the street. The little ones wouldn’t be crying because their bellies were empty. She wouldn’t have her lungs ruined by working in a mill. Rafael would give her that. So even if she wasn’t particularly enchanted with him, she would be mindful of her gratitude and make the best of marriage and count herself lucky. She knew how much worse her life could be. Her sister Brigit had married at sixteen. After three babies with a husband who couldn’t keep food on the table, Brigit was dead before her twenty-first birthday.
Daniel entered the room, his eyes darting between her and Rafael as if he’d expected a brawl to break out. She resisted the urge to look to him for help.
Truth be told, she was not happy with Rafael, not happy that he was drinking again and not happy that he wanted to delay their marriage. Was he having second thoughts? She couldn’t ask him with his mother, Juanita and Daniel hovering.
The others could have allowed them time alone for courting if that was what he intended, but this had to be the strangest courtship in God’s green creation. “How does one ‘court’ when one is living under the same roof?”
Rafael blinked, then looked at Daniel.
Daniel sat across from her. When their gazes met, a shiver thrummed through her. For a second, all she could think about was how she had felt when they were waltzing and then when he sang to her. That was courting if anything was. She shook off the sudden heat in her blood. She couldn’t think that way about Daniel, certainly not with Rafael sitting right beside her.
But when she looked back at Rafael, his eyes looked glassy and his brow furrowed. He was slumped in his chair as if he were exhausted. Worse than the way he looked was that her heart didn’t beat faster, her breath didn’t catch, her stomach didn’t flutter.
