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“Wow, he sounds like an incredible lover. Maybe I should hire him for the night…”
There’s reality hitting me in the face. Carly’s seemingly innocuous statement reminds me that he’s paid love, not someone I can actually date. The only way I’ll see Owen again is in a professional capacity, and to be honest with the way that things have gone today, that isn’t going to be necessary at all. I shake off her words and I brush my hair out of my face as I try to get myself stoked.
“Right, you better make me look sexy now, I’m about to do my very first sex scene.”
“How naked are you going to be?” Carly runs her eyes up and down me in a way that’s reminiscent of last night. “How much of your body do I need to cover in make up?”
“I don’t think too naked.” I hope not, I might be ready but I don’t know if I’m that ready yet. “But you better do it all just in case. I don’t want to be unprepared for the worst.”
***
I flop onto my bed with exhaustion washing over me, every scrap of confidence zapping from my body as I do. Filming a sex scene is incredibly hard, much more work than I thought it was going to be. I assumed me and Buzz would have to get a bit frisky with one another and it would all simply fall into place. How wrong I was! It’s so technical and complicated, and as I now realize I don’t know how to move my body in a way that looks good at all. Even the fancy lighting can’t help.
I twist onto my front and shove my head into my pillow to scream silently so the neighbors can’t hear me. The noise is a real issue in this apartment block, I really need to move somewhere better but since the money is slowly depleting and I haven’t got anything solid to replace it yet, I don’t want to take on that risk just yet. Maybe if I get this right, but I’m not there yet.
“What am I going to do?” I mutter morosely to myself. Every time I get something right, I fuck something else up instead. It’s so messy, I hate it. Maybe I should do the dreaded thing of calling Buzz and arranging out of hours’ rehearsal with him until we get this right. I know the offer is there, he said it when we first started filming together, but I’ve managed to put it off until now.
Spending time with his arrogant ass on set is bad enough, I don’t want more.
I stare at the screen of my cell phone, willing myself to just do it already, but I can’t. I really don’t want to see that dreadful look of disappointment crossing his face every time I screw up. No, I think I need someone a bit more independent to tell me what looks good, someone who’s seen my naked body already and that I haven’t spent all day hating.
This isn’t an excuse to see him, I tell myself as I consider the only person who fits that description. I don’t want to see him, I need to. This is all business, nothing more.
As I dial out the numbers that Owen gave me last night my heart hammers anxiously in my chest. I think I must be going crazy, I cannot believe I’m doing
this. Not only did I allow myself to get swept up by craziness last night, I’m inviting in to my life again. Who the hell am I?
“Hello?” Oh wow, that smooth voice of his makes me melt into a puddle. Just that one word is enough to have me pulsing with need all over again. “Who’s there?”
“Oh.” I suddenly realize that I’ve been silent swooning for far too long. “Right sorry, it’s Avril. From, erm, last night.” This is a mistake, why am I doing this. “You said I could call you?”
“Oh right okay sure.” He sounds uneasy which only confirms my stupidity. I squeeze my eyes shut and wish I could hang up without it being weird. I shouldn’t have spoke at all. “Yeah I said to call me if you need any help again. Do you? Need help, I mean?”
I sigh loudly and run my hand across my sweaty forehead. This is a desperate situation, that’s why I’m doing this, there’s no other reason at all. If I had any other choice I’d do that instead.
“Yeah, I do need help. I mean, I nailed the kissing scene today, I did everything that you suggested and it went really well. So well that they decided to add in a sex scene. Apparently, I’m not very good at that because I don’t know how to move my body in a flattering way.”
I should’ve called Buzz, I should have contacted Carly, anyone but Owen.
“Yeah okay, sure.” Owen doesn’t sound phased which relaxes me just a little bit. Even when I’m at my craziest he isn’t judging me. “Did you want to meet at the same motel again?”
“Yeah,” I agree because that actually sounds really smart. “Sure. Are you sure you don’t have any other work?” As I say that my gut twists with jealousy, which I need to disguise. “I understand if you do. I don’t want to get in the way of anything… I’ll pay for your time, obviously.”
“I’ll see you in an hour,” he chuckles. “Don’t panic, we’ll get this right, okay?”
His words relax me, and as I hang up the phone I notice that I’m breathing a lot easier. I don’t know what it is about Owen, but he has this knack of making everything feel much better. There’s something about his calm nature that compliments me well. I’m looking forward to working with him again because I know he’ll make it fun. But it’ll be purely acting today, nothing more. I don’t want to end up catching real feelings because then I’ll only end up with a shattered heart.
Chapter Six – Owen
That’s better,” I say appreciatively as Avril listens to my suggestions. When she first called me, I thought this was going to be really awkward, but because we have such a good relationship it isn’t really. We’re laughing and joking and managing to make it fun. Maybe if the guy she had to do all of this with acted in a similar way then she wouldn’t be in this mess. “Really sexy.”
“You think?” As she peers over her shoulder to confirm my reaction, I feel a stirring in my pants. Her hair flickering over her back while her butt is in the air is too much. This isn’t about this today, as far as I can see it really is just acting coaching, she just wants me to assist her.
“Oh yeah I think.” I lean forward, trying to cover up the steel rod in my pants. I need to keep myself under control. “I think you look really good. I can’t see any way the director can kick off.”
She twists her body round into a sitting position and pouts out her bottom lip. “But how will it work with him underneath me? Will it still look as good? I don’t know if it’ll be the same.”
“Hold on!” I hold my finger up in the air to stop her as an idea comes to mind. “I have a plan.”
