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It’s the lake, my lake, the lake I always went to with my mother. The place I came to with Brandon on that one truly wonderful day we shared together, back when we were trapped in a bubble of happiness, when it felt like anything could happen. Even then I was aware that things would eventually come to an end, but it felt like it was so far away that I would have to ever deal with it really.
This is the lake I shared with my mom. Well, sort of. As I move my feet and I wander around the place I think it might be even better. Someone has been here making vast improvements, cleaning up the water, planting flowers, and building a small archway nearby. Instead of looking like a run down place where old memories have come to die, it looks so pretty that new memories could be created. I can even imagine weddings and other lovely parties happening here. It’s all too much.
“Ah.” A voice rings out from behind me, making me jump. “So, you’re the young lady.”
I spin to see one of the older gentlemen from the town standing behind me, looking at me like we know one another. He isn’t one of the ones who comes to my shows regularly, but I would’ve definitely seen him. “Erm, sorry?” I ask awkwardly.
He moves deliberately towards me with heavy steps. “You’re the one who captured the heart of my boss?”
“Oh.” It suddenly hits me. He must be one of the builders who worked for Brandon. How typical that I would be here completely by accident, trying to work things out, and someone connected to him would be here. “I see.”
“I knew it was a girl from the town, and someone who’s father was sick, but I guess I didn’t connect the dots.”
"You know all that?” I guess I’m shocked because I didn’t think Brandon would ever talk about me much. Especially when it seems that everything we shared has been so easy to discard. “Did Brandon tell you or do you know my dad well?”
“I know your dad well enough.” He stares over at the water. “Or I did. Back before he got sick he was the life and soul of the party. Always good fun. But yes, it was Brandon that told us all about you. He has a thing for you that boy.”
I growl angrily. “That’s not true,” I shoot back. “He didn’t care for me at all. We just… shared some time together and now he’s gone.”
“Then why did he do all of this for you?” He makes a sweeping gesture with his hand as he indicates around. “A man doesn’t do something like this unless he’s in love.”
The L word makes my chest constrict painfully. It’s something that I’ve been trying to ignore, something that I’ve been trying to push back down because I allowed myself to become so convinced that’s how I’ve been feeling.
“Yeah well, he also paid my dad’s hospital bills, but then he ran off without saying goodbye,” I reply bitterly. “Who knows why he does what he does. Maybe he just likes flashing the cash. It probably doesn’t mean anything.”
“I suppose you could be right, but I never saw him that way. I think he just got scared if I’m honest. Men don’t cave to commitment that easily, it takes them a while to decide that it’s for them.”
Maybe I would believe that if I didn’t know about Mom and Dad’s story. He knew that she was the one and he just went for it. It didn’t matter to him how hard it would be because he knew that he was in love. Again, I’m reminded that I’m not enough for Brandon and I never will be.
“Well, I’m not going to wait around for him to decide that he wants commitment. I want to just move on with my life.” As I glance around I know it’s not going to be easy with this constant reminder here, on top of everything else I have to keep me remembering, but I’m going to have to try. “It’s nice, a good job has been done and I’m sure that many people will enjoy it. But one of them won’t be me.”
“Well that is a shame.” He doesn’t sound shocked or impressed by me. Amused if anything. “Because I know that he would be good to you if you’d just give him a chance.”
“No way. I’m done,” I speak firmly. “I have too much else to worry about. I have the farm, my dad, my music… that’s all I need. Brandon and the rest of it, that can all just be gone. I’m done with it all.”
Done with love, that’s what I am. It brings along nothing but trouble. Men bring drama, and love brings broken hearts. I was doing just fine without all of that before and I can get back to that again.
“I have to go.” The man doesn’t answer me so I move anyway. Clearly he thinks our conversation is over anyway. “Goodbye.”
As I leave the lake I’m even more confused than before. Why would Brandon do something that seems so caring when he clearly doesn’t care? What the hell is the point? Maybe it is a money thing, or maybe he enjoys keeping women hanging on. Well he won’t have me. At least now there’s a strength inside of me, a determination that I won’t be caught in his trap for any longer.
I won’t cry another damn tear for Brandon Heath-Smith. It’s time for me to move on.
Chapter 16 – Brandon
One year later…
Son? Are you even listening to me?”
“Oh sorry.” I drag my eyes away from the window and stare at him with a bit of a glassy eyed expression. “I am listening, I just… got distracted for a moment.”
A moment, a year, what does it matter? All that’s really important is that I still, after making the choice to choose business over love, putting my career first and thinking only of myself, I still don’t think I’ve done the right thing. I assumed that as soon as I got back to my real life, I’d forget all about my brief and magical time with Lola Boots, but somehow I haven’t quite recovered. Somehow, I’m not quite the person who I once was.
“Right, well as a CEO of the company, you can’t just get distracted. I’ve promoted you in good faith and every now and then you seem to be off in your own little world.” He pats me patronizingly on the shoulder. “You’ve worked hard and sacrificed a lot to be here. Don’t put all of that effort to waste now.”
I shake my head and ride my brain of everything that happened in the past. There’s no point in worrying about any of it now, thinking it through won’t get me anywhere. I left Lola in a shitty way, making sure there’s no going back, so there really isn’t any point in worrying about what’s happening there. It’s done. Over. No more.
“I know, I’m sorry. Please, let’s discuss these plans further.”
