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“Oh no, that’s fine. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you need driving or anything?”
“No, it’s okay. Dad’s in the car now and I’m just about to take him.” The conce
rn falls off her tongue. “Just… letting you know.”
“Will you please keep me up to date? Anything I can do I want to be there.”
“Oh yeah of course, I will do, thank you.”
Once she hangs up the phone I start thinking about costs. I know there isn’t much that I can do for Lola and her father, but they might not have health insurance either. If so, that’ll cost them a fortune… I know she won’t want me to, but I can pay it for her. If I do it without her knowing then there’s nothing she can get upset about. Hopefully she won’t even realize, if she has a lot going on it might not even hit her.
I move away from the building site, which is now starting to look a lot more like the pictures than it did last week, and I make another call. Only this one to the local hospital. I speak to a receptionist there about forwarding Mr. Boots’ medical bills to me. Of course she won’t agree to it, since I’m not a family member, but she tells me if I can make my way down to the hospital within the next twenty four hours with a method of payment, she’ll sort it out with me. Relief floods me as she gives me something to work with.
I then ask her if there’s a specialist on board, which of course there isn’t because it’s such a small place, which gives me something else I can focus on. I can help find one, and pay for the specialist treatment to help her dad. I don’t like problems I can’t solve, that isn’t practical enough for me. When I have something I can do, I feel useful.
“Is everything alright, boss?” Again I’m faced with Hank, the man who just told me my mind isn’t on the prize enough, and I’m distracted again. “You look… stressed.”
“I… I’m sorry,” I reply with a sharp shake of the head. “I know I’m not supposed to be distracted anymore, but something has come up and it’s something that I need to deal with.”
“I didn’t mean any offense when I said that, boss. I honestly didn’t.” Hank looks taken aback and I can hardly blame him. “It’s just… well, if you’re in love then we all know what we’re up against. It’s not a bad thing, we just know that boring details about a building can’t compete to that of a pretty face.” He pats me on the arm. “We’ve all been there, boss.”
I can’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. I know I don’t love Lola, and that I can’t ever love her even if I want to, but I can use that as an excuse for now. “Yes, I suppose that is the case. I don’t know why I didn’t just say that before. Now she needs me. She has a family medical emergency to deal with. I think I need to be there. Can you handle everything here?”
“Oh, I can handle it, don’t you worry about that. You just go and make this girl fall in love with you too… if she isn’t already.”
I can’t dignify that with an answer, I just need to get the hell out of here. I give Hank a grateful smile and I race to my car. I probably could walk to the hospital, but I want to get there quickly. I need to speak to the receptionist I dealt with on the phone, I want to catch her while she’s still on the desk so I can get the bill dealt with in a quick and discrete manner.
Once I hop into the car and I race towards the hospital I realize that looking at all these auditions, there isn’t any way they can happen here. I might want her to get everything that she’s ever dreamed about, and I might be the one who can open the right doors for her, but she really is stuck here. Her father needs her.
The realization that there isn’t any other option for us hits me hard, making me consider my feelings deeply. Maybe I do like her in all the ways that I’m not supposed to which is very hopeless. I never wanted to be the sort of guy that fell in love ever, I certainly don’t want to be the guy who falls in love with someone who I can’t be with.
I might have to distance myself from Lola once all of this is done. Maybe, for both of our sakes I need to stop seeing her quite so much. We are acting too much like we’re a couple. It isn’t healthy for either of us…
***
“Thank you,” I say with relief to the woman as I get my credit card back. “Now you have all my information, you can take the payment once it’s all done.”
I feel good knowing that I’ve helped. I’ve also asked the receptionist not to say anything to Lola or her father. I want this to be an anonymous donation, nothing more. Especially if I don’t want to deepen things between me and Lola. I don’t want her to see what I’ve done as a sweet thing and for her to feel deeper for me. If she’s falling for me it’ll be impossible for me to not fall for her.
“Thank you, Sir. All is done. Very kind of you.”
“Kind, but secret,” I remind her. “Thank you.”
With a deep sigh of relief I take a step backwards and my shoulders sag. Now that I’ve done what needs to be done, I’m back to not knowing what to do with myself. This sensation is so strange, in the city I always know what to do. I’m never stuck, feeling hopeless and a little lonely. Everything about this town is really messing with my mind.
Now, I guess I could go back to the building site, I could see how Hank and the others are getting on, although I know they don’t really need me, or I could head back to the depressing motel room staring at the blank, four walls. Urgh, no, even the idea of that place makes me want to throw up. It’s just a shame that I’ll have to spend more time there now. I can’t stay at Lola’s anymore if we’re going to be a bit more separate. I better get used to it.
I spin on my heels and start moving towards the door, preparing myself for what’s to come. But before I make it to the door, a hang claps over my shoulder which make me jump. For some reason, the sensation that I’ve just been caught doing something naughty fills me right up. My heart pounds, my stomach churns, my lungs squeeze tight…
And then I see her.
“Lola?” I gasp, feeling even worse. She isn’t supposed to know that I’ve been here. “I… I…”
“What are you doing here?” she asks in a shocked voice. “Did you come to see me?”
“No,” I shoot back rapidly, before realizing that’s stupid. What other excuse could I have? “Yes. I don’t want to intervene, I just want to check that you’re okay.”
She doesn’t look okay to me, she looks more stressed than I’ve ever seen her before. But I don’t point that out.
