AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“So why are you walking towards the door then?”
I hang my head in shame. What a mess I’ve gotten myself into! “I guess I just thought you might not want to see me. I’m sorry.”
Chapter 11 – Lola
I pause for a moment as shock races through my system. Not only am I stunned that Brandon is here, but I’m also completely freaked out that he thinks I might not want him around. We’ve been growing closer, getting more connected to one another, learning and opening up. It’s starting to feel like maybe it could be more than it’s supposed to be.
“It’s okay that you’re here,” I tell him softly as I slip my fingers through his. The warmth of his skin feels wonderful against mine. “Did you want to come and meet my father?”
“It isn’t really a good time, is it?” he asks cautiously. Is it me or does he actually look scared? “I don’t think he’ll want to meet me while he’s in the hospital, will he?”
“He’s out at the moment. High on a lot of drugs and mostly asleep. So, I guess you won’t really be meeting him… but I could use some company if you don’t mind. Unless you have to get back to work, of course? I don’t want to get in the way of business…”
“I’ll come with you.” His face breaks out into a smile but I can still see the anxiety there. I feel bad for him, I didn’t mean for him to be frightened. “Anything to help, you know me.”
I lead him down the hallway, moving out of the way when a stressed looking doctor followed by two trainees push their way past us. This place is way too understaffed, it’s a travesty really, but I suppose people in a small town getting sick just don’t classify as important as the people in the city. Not that I’m bitter or anything…
“Right, this is the room,” I whisper once we’re outside. My heart thunders in my chest, I can feel it bashing painfully against my rib cage, but with Brandon’s hand in mine it doesn’t feel as bad as it was ten minutes ago. “Are you ready to go inside?”
He peers through the door to see the frail man my dad has become. I don’t see him that way myself because I remember the strong, powerful force of nature that he was once upon a time. Especially when Mom was alive, I think when she died he gave up fighting for everything so much and became susceptible to illness. I might be wrong, but that’s how it feels most of the time. Now, he’s lying in that bed, attached to an IV drip, on really high pain meds that have knocked him out. It’s utterly heart breaking for me.
“Oh bless him,” Brandon whispers, sounding incredibly concerned. “Is there anything we can do for him? Does he just need to sleep or something?”
“I think so.” I give him a one shouldered shrug. “I’m just waiting for the nurse to let me know. That’s where I was going actually. To find someone, but I bumped into you instead.”
“Right okay.” Brandon looks a little pale, like he can’t quite cope with what’s going on. It makes me feel terrible. “So we should just go inside and wait.”
I keep my fingers looped through his and I wave our hands back and forth while I look at him lovingly. “Look, Brandon, I really do appreciate you staying here with me, it’s such a kind offer but I can do this by myself. I don’t mind if you want to go back to your motel. I
shouldn’t have asked you to come and meet my dad. Now that I’m hearing the words aloud, I can hear how crazy it sounds, so maybe we should pretend I never asked that question.”
He snatches his hands away from mine and puts them on my cheeks. Then he pulls me towards him for a kiss. As his lips crash into mine I can feel a desperation behind them which I’m sure comes from the dilemma that I’ve accidently put in front of him. This wasn’t ever my intention. I kiss him back, but my mind spins the whole time.
“I’m coming in with you,” he finally gasps into my mouth. “I want to be here, come on.”
Then he takes my hand and he leads me into the room, not waiting for me to argue with him at all. As we enter and get nearer to my father, I forget all about Brandon’s inner dilemma and I suck in a deep tense air once more. This really isn’t easy. I’ve been through it more than once before, and it never feels anything less than stressful.
“So what will they do for him?” Brandon asks quietly. “What happens now?”
“They manage things, sort him out and send him back home again.” My voice cracks with emotion as I speak. “That’s all they can do, it can be a bit of a vicious cycle.”
Brandon puts his hands on his hips and he narrows his eyes. He looks like I did in the beginning, he wants an answer that just isn’t ever going to be there. I remember it well, but I’ve given in now. I gave my hope for a cure a whole lot of time and effort, and it exhausted me. Now I’m in a better place because I’ve accepted it. It is what it is, I suppose.
“And has he seen every specialist available? Has he dealt with every doctor?”
“We can’t really afford to see every doctor.” I know Brandon doesn’t understand this, he lives in a world where money isn’t an issue, but I need to make him understand. “So that holds us back but we’ve done everything that we can.”
Brandon parts his lips as I brace myself for him to say something that I won’t want to hear. It’ll be something money related and since that isn’t something that I can change I just don’t want to hear it right now. It makes my shoulders hunch around my ears.
But before he can get even the first word out, my dad makes a groaning noise that grabs both of our attention. The words fall apart on Brandon’s lips and my ears switch off from him. I race to Dad’s side and take the seat next to him so I can grab his hand. His eyes flicker as he tries his hardest to focus on me. At least that pained look is gone now, the medication must be working well. I’m glad, he needs that relief.
“Dad, are you okay?” I gush quietly to him. “What’s going on? What can I do?”
“L…Lo,” he practically whispers back, using the nickname that only he has for me. I wouldn’t like it from anyone else. “Sorry I got sick again.”
“Oh, Dad, don’t ever say that.” Tears fill my eyes. “This isn’t exactly your fault, is it? You can’t help it. I’m just glad that we got you some help in time.”
“At the hospital?” It breaks my heart that he doesn’t even seem to know where he is. “Yes, it’s very white. This must be the hospital.”
