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He didn’t even have to think about. “No, it’s not that. I’ll get her and keep her any way it takes.”
“Then damn it, Rafael, get your ass to the jewelry store first thing tomorrow.” Without another word she hung up.
Hanging his head, he wondered how the hell he could have overlooked it. Of course he would do anything to keep her, how had he not thought of it?”
For the first time in years he felt better after talking to his mother. In a rush, he got u
p and got ready for bed and set his alarm as early as he could.
The next morning he was sitting in his car, trying to pass the time. His expectation of finding a ring hadn’t gone as long as he thought it would. The jeweler had all his sapphires prepared and ready to go, along with a few unique diamond main stones in case he hadn’t liked the sapphires. Rafael wanted a sapphire to match her eyes, would a sapphire be alright with her? They weren’t as expensive as diamonds but the one he had picked was a natural blue sapphire at ten carats and there were two side clear one carat diamonds on each side. The moment he laid eyes on it, he thought it was perfect. Now, alone and waiting, all he could do was wonder what Carrie would think about it.
His phone rang, it was Javier. He sent it to voicemail, for what he was about to do he needed his head clear. It was a little after seven now, he couldn’t wait. Damn, his knees were shaking as he made his way to her apartment. Taking a deep breath, he patted his pocket for the box and knocked lightly on the door. If she didn’t answer then he would go up to his condo and give her another hour.
She opened the door and her eyes were less bruised then they had been last night but the fire was gone. Stepping away from the door, she walked stiffly to the living room and sat down in the oversized chair, ignoring the large sofa. Closing the door, he followed her and wasn’t sure if it was good or bad she hadn’t said a word.
“I’m sorry about the door, last night. I’ll make sure it gets fixed. I want to say I’m sorry about last night altogether. None of it went right, I was running scared, I drove like a maniac and all I thought about was all the wrongs I had done to you. I wasn’t thinking about how to make it right. Foolishly, I thought all you wanted was for me to say the words I longed to hear from you. Yes, Carrie, don’t look so surprised. I wanted you to say them too, like I said, once you said them then I thought I would be free me to say them. Every time we made love there wasn’t anything about sex to it. No matter how much you liked playing and calling yourself a slut for me, you weren’t because it was love and that’s the difference.
Yes, when we first met, I thought you weren’t fitting wife material because of your lack of a degree and a bunch of stupid shit that made me sound like a bad Victorian novel. The truth of it was, I was scared and I was using any excuse to stay away from you. As you might have noticed in our time together, I like my life neat and organized. I like knowing exactly what is going to happen from one day to the next. Every hour of my day was carefully scheduled and filled. I think it was so I wouldn’t realize how empty it really was. I blamed work but that wasn’t it, not really. The first day, I threw my schedule out the window and didn’t think twice. Realizing it terrified me, you being upset, the living situation I saw you in, your migraine, all I could think about was making it better. If you hadn’t been up to par to run this building I had plans to find something, anything for you in the corporate office. I couldn’t walk away from you and I found myself thinking about you at the craziest times. Like I said, it made me feel weak and I resented it like hell. How, I would wonder, could such a small woman fill my life so full?
Then the twins came up to my condo and warned me to take care of you and I’m sure you don’t know but they were up there almost every weekend until school started. They’ve managed to make it up at least one weekend a month since school started. At first, I resented them. Then I looked forward to it, they reminded me of you, it felt like we were close even when you weren’t there. I began imagining you were there and we were a family and I got to not only liking the idea but wondering when we would be able to get to that place. In my mind, I was waiting for you to take us further. You had started us, I believed it was up to you to let me know you wanted more.
I’m sorry, it wasn’t until I was driving up here back to you that I realized you pushing me to make love to you was all you had the strength to do. It was as far as your fear would take you and it should have been me to let you know I wanted more.” He had been leaning against the sofa, now he rounded it and stepped around to her. It felt natural to go down on his knees, she’d had him on his knees for months. Pulling out the box, he opened it and gave her a minute to look at it before he took it out and grabbed her left hand. There was no resistance and the look of shock looked happy, he hoped. “So, I’m telling you now. We’re going to get married and it’s happening as soon as absolutely possible. None of this a year from now or June bullshit, we’ve wasted enough time. For Christmas, you are going to be my gift. I know a judge up for re-election who would love for me to owe him. You and the twins move up with me, where you belong. We can look at houses in the suburbs if you want for better schools in a few weeks. If you need the big church wedding we can do it later.”
She was so quiet, his nerves were starting to edge up. All she was doing was staring at the ring.
“Carrie, when the time comes the judge is going to need you to say yes.”
Closing her eyes, she nodded, “I want to but I’m afraid.”
“Afraid of what?” His chest got tight when tears started to fall from her eyes.
“Can we wait until after Christmas, maybe a week or two?”
“No, tell me why you’re afraid.”
Her eyes went up to his and the fear was clear in her eyes, “I want to know for sure I don’t have cancer. I don’t want to have you go into this without knowing exactly what you’re getting into.”
Her words were a blow to his chest, for a moment he couldn’t breathe. “Explain, now.”
“When I went to the OB the pap smear came back abnormal. She’s optimistic it’s nothing but my aunt Patty, she died of cervical cancer at thirty five. That’s a strike against me. If the next pap comes back good, then I’m in the clear, for now. If it comes back abnormal, then it could be cancer.”
Losing strength in his legs he fell on his ass and his grip on her was so tight he took her with him. She was in his arms again and he held her as tightly as he dared without hurting her. “That’s what you would get tense about. That’s why you went to see an estate planner and the paperwork for Bethany. It wasn’t about being cautious, you’re really fucking scared and you’ve been dealing with it all alone. Damn it, Carrie, how could you do that to us?”
“I was afraid you’d run, it was too much to deal with.” She buried her face in his neck and he wanted to shake her.
“I told you, you belong to me. All of you belongs to me, not only your body, your thoughts and your fears, your dreams and desires. All of them belong to me to give you what I have in my power to give and make come true.
Right now, I want you to stop thinking about it. Everything is going to be fine. You are a healthy young woman and you aren’t going anywhere, I won’t allow it. Even if our healthcare wasn’t one of the best plans on the market, you are marrying a very rich man. What did I tell you last night? I would turn my life inside out for you so if we have to go farther and do more to keep you healthy then I will.
Look at me, look at me Carrie. Say it, everything will be fine. We’re getting married at Christmas and we’re going to live happily ever after because we love each other and we deserve it. I’m not going to worry anymore because it’s Rafael’s job. Rafael, will do all the worrying and take care of me and love me. Well, as happily ever after with a tyrant for a husband and two demanding twins.”
Laughing, she repeated the words and then she pulled him down and kissed him with all the love he knew she felt. “Tell me, mi dulce, tell me before I lose my mind.”
“I love you Rafael. I love you so much it scares me too. Take me to bed and make love to me. Please.”
Because her words were so very sincere, he picked her up and did as she asked.
Chapter Twenty Three
