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“You know that isn’t how I meant it.”
“It’s your first Thanksgiving with Monk. You don’t want me intruding on that.”
Saylor bit her bottom lip. When she asked what he was doing for the holiday, she’d meant it to be more of a “you’re welcome to come along with us” invitation than a “this is our first Thanksgiving together” invitation. Based on Poppy’s reaction as well as Razor’s, it seemed like it was more of a thing than she wanted it to be.
“What are you thinking about?” Poppy asked.
“Maybe I should uninvite him.”
“Saylor, you can’t do that!”
“It was supposed to be casual.”
“Then talk to him about it, but don’t uninvite him.”
Nodding but not convinced, Saylor made a plan to talk to Monk tonight, even though she intended to do the very thing Poppy told her not to.
“I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THANKSGIVING,” she began after the girls had gone into their bedroom for the night.
“As have I.”
Her eyes opened wide. “What have you been thinking?”
Monk rested his hand on her thigh. “The same thing you have.”
“It’s more than either of us want.”
He nodded. “More than we said we wanted.”
“Monk…”
Reaching forward, Monk cupped her cheek. “This isn’t something we need to talk about. Let’s enjoy the time we have together. Next year, things will be changing drastically.”
While the same things had been racing through her head, hearing Monk say them, hurt more than she expected. “In what way?”
“I won’t be working in Yachats after the first of the year.”
“Oh.” Before the tears she knew were coming filled her eyes, Saylor got up and went into the kitchen. Monk followed, and when she rested her hands on the edge of the kitchen counter, he stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“I feel the same way you do, Saylor. I love spending time with you, but we both—”
“You don’t need to say anything else. When you leave, this will be over.” She wiggled out of his grasp and walked out of the kitchen. “Goodnight, Monk.”
Saylor didn’t look back to see if he left. He always left. The no-sleepover rule was still in effect.
—:—
Monk had lied to Saylor right before Thanksgiving, but now that Christmas was almost here, his lie had become the truth. He’d spoken to Doc before agreeing to spend the holiday in Annapolis at Gunner’s mother’s place. Most of the K19 team would be there, as would Saylor, her girls, and Sally.
Things between him and Saylor had gone back to as normal as possible. He didn’t eat dinner with them every night, and when he did, he didn’t always stay to help the girls with their homework.
They were smart kids and knew something was up between him and their mother. Sadness lurked behind their little eyes, but he couldn’t do anything to help that. He and Saylor were in agreement. While they cared about each other, neither wanted a long-term relationship.
She put on a brave face in front of everyone but him. As far as even Razor knew, nothing had changed between them. She smiled easily, laughed heartily, and flirted with him in the same way she always had. Sex, though, had changed. Saylor had pulled away from him to the point where she no longer scheduled sleepovers for the girls.
When they kissed, his body longed to feel hers next to him. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself deep inside her warmth and never leave. Wanting that and making it happen were two very different things. Even if he told Saylor that he’d changed his mind and planned to stay in Yachats, he was only half of the equation. She hadn’t said she wanted him to. She’d only said that when he did leave, this thing between them would be over.
Maybe the truth that neither of them wanted to acknowledge was that it had run its course anyway.
