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16
The first few days into the new year, after Monk left on a mission with her brother, were the hardest of Saylor’s life.
She and Monk had agreed to tell the girls he needed to leave because of his job, but he’d see them soon. Maybe that hadn’t been the best way to handle it, but seeing her girls heartbroken over him leaving permanently was more than she’d be able to handle. Her own heartbreak was devastating enough.
“I hate to see you like this,” her mother said a week into what Saylor knew would be forever. “Couldn’t the two of you have worked something out?”
“Monk never signed up to be the father figure in an insta-family, Mom. What was I going to do? Beg him to do something he’d never agreed to just because the girls and I grew attached to him?”
“You could’ve told him how you feel.”
“To what end? All that would’ve done is make him feel worse about his decision. I couldn’t bear to think he was here with us out of pity.”
“Maybe he feels the same way you do. Maybe he’s as afraid to say it as you are.”
Saylor shook her head. “Monk doesn’t lie, nor does he say things that aren’t necessary. I heard him, Mom. It’s as over as this conversation is.”
Her mother breathed a heavy sigh. “So what are you going to do with your life, Saylor? Sit around and mope every day?”
“Nope. I’m going to do what I should’ve done years ago. I’m going to get my pilot’s license.”
Her mother said she was glad to hear it, but her words lacked enthusiasm.
PART II
17
October
“Tabon is really proud of you,” said Ava as she sat nursing Sam. It was hard for Saylor to believe her nephew was already three months old. It seemed as though it was only yesterday that they celebrated his arrival on the Fourth of July.
Tabon Samuel Sharp VI was as much of a force to be reckoned with as his father had been in his first six months—and Ava handled it with a finesse Saylor didn’t possess. She hadn’t seen her sister-in-law get frustrated with Sam’s fussiness a single time, not that she was able to be here with them as much as she’d like.
In the last ten months, she’d completed the flight training necessary and passed the exams to earn her private pilot’s license. She was almost halfway through completing the two hundred and fifty hours she needed in order to sit for the commercial pilot’s license exam.
She’d never be able to thank her mother and Poppy enough for how often they stepped in to help with the girls. Whether Saylor was in the air or studying, one or the other took the girls to and from school, music lessons, and sports practice.
During their summer break, Ya-Ya took Sierra and Savannah to the fishing cabin every week, often for several days at a time. When she was able, Saylor joined them, but it was never as much as she’d like.
No amount of busy stopped her from thinking about Monk, though. He was still the first person she thought of when she woke and the last before she fell asleep.
She knew from Razor’s schedule that he’d been away on missions almost non-stop since the beginning of the year. She didn’t know where, or what they involved, and she didn’t want to.
“Do you want to hold him?” Ava asked, buttoning up her blouse when she finished breastfeeding the baby.
“Do you have to ask?”
Ava smiled. “No, but it’s better than just dumping him in your lap.”
“Dump away,” she said, holding her arms out to take Sam. “God, when did he get so heavy? What does he weigh? Thirty pounds?”
“No, not thirty, but he was twenty at his last checkup.” Ava laughed. “Just like his daddy, he’s in the ninety-ninth percentile of height and weight.”
Saylor held Sam up and let him bounce on her legs. “Your arms must be very strong.”
“I wimp out a lot, and Tabon has to take him.” She stood and walked into the kitchen. “Can I get you anything?”
“I’m good. Just spending time with this big guy is all I need.” Saylor nuzzled his neck, and Sam giggled.
