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Ava came back with a glass of water and sat down. “There’s something I feel like I should tell you.”
“Uh oh, are you pregnant again?”
Ava laughed out loud. “Good God, no. This is about Monk.”
“It’s okay—”
“He’ll be here later today. Tabon said they’re installing new equipment, and Monk will be setting it up.”
Saylor kept her focus on Sam, trying her hardest not to react to Ava’s news. She wanted to cheer and cry at the same time. She missed him so much and couldn’t wait to see him. At the same time, seeing him would be even harder than missing him. Being able to look at him but not touch, would be torture.
“How long did he say he’d be here?”
Ava sighed. “He said, ‘Indefinitely.’”
Her heart lurched. Indefinitely? Why? Maybe she could convince Ava to bring Sam over to her place so Saylor didn’t have to come here. Right. How selfish would that be? Plus, she’d have to see him eventually. Better to rip the bandage off and get it over with. Little by little, her heart would probably mend, even though it hadn’t in ten months.
“Tabon asked me a funny question.”
“What was that?”
“He asked if I thought you’d want Monk to know about your pilot training. Why wouldn’t you?”
She thought the question over before answering. Why wouldn’t she? She had no reason, but she hesitated. “I’d rather he not know,” she finally answered. “I can’t explain it.”
“Got it,” said Ava, as though she truly did.
—:—
Ten months. That was how long it had been since Monk had seen Saylor, but the hurt of leaving her was still as strong as it had been the day he did it.
He dreamed about her every night, often waking with an erection so hard it hurt. That wasn’t all he missed though. In his dreams, it was her smile, her laughter, her voice, and her words that he yearned for when he woke up disappointed that being with her again hadn’t been real.
There had been countless times he wanted to ask about her, but he’d stopped himself. What right did he have to know anything about her life? They’d mutually agreed to end things. While he still held out hope that, at the very least, they could be friends, whatever she was doing with her life wasn’t any of his business.
“You good with this?” Razor asked when Monk walked into the house he hadn’t set foot in since last year.
“It’s my assignment.”
“I didn’t ask if it was your assignment.” Razor sounded pissed.
“I’m good with it.”
“Thanks for giving me that much.” Razor walked downstairs, scrubbing his face with his hand. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you and my sister, and I don’t want to know. But if you’re going to have any issue being here, then I need to know right now.”
“I can’t lie,” Monk began, knowing that the next words he said may very well lead to him getting a different assignment.
“Go on. What can’t you lie about?”
“Saylor is a person I care about. That we can’t be together isn’t easy for me. I have a job to do, and I’ll do it, just like any other job. I’ll handle myself professionally.”
“Fuck,” muttered Razor. “Now I know it’s really bad.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve never heard you string that many words together at one time.”
When Razor walked out of the room, Monk called Burns Butler. “I’m here, walk me through what I need to do.”
