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When I stood, Stella looked over her shoulder at me. “You better be taking your clothes off.”
I didn’t answer. I sat on the couch and took off my boots and socks. I kept my eyes fixed on hers as I unbuttoned my shirt, pulled it from my body, and tossed it on the floor. I stood again and unfastened my belt.
“Roll onto your back,” I said and waited with my hands on the waist of my jeans until she rested her head on the pillow. My cock strained against the denim as I popped the grommets and pulled the fly open. When I lowered my jeans, my hardness sprung forth. Stella’s eyes trailed down my body and settled between my legs.
“I want to touch you.”
“I’m all yours.”
She got on her knees and reached out for me. As much as I wanted to feel her mouth on my cock, I couldn’t. Not now. I wouldn’t last, and the first time I came with Stella, I wanted to be balls-deep inside her. “Changed my mind. Stand up, darlin’,” I said, holding out my hand.
She grasped it and stood, her eyes fixated on mine like they were earlier. I pulled her into my arms and twisted my tongue with hers. When I pulled back, I put my hands on either side of her face. “I need to make love to you, Stella. I need you to understand that’s what this is between us. This means too much to me for you to think any less of it.”
Her eyes darted back and forth between mine. “Buck…I’m…”
“What? Tell me. Talk to me. What we’re about to do is too important for me not to know how you’re feeling.”
“You’re scaring me,” she whispered. “I’m scared.”
I knew what she meant, but I had to be sure. “Of me? Physically?”
“No.”
“What, then?”
“Why are you making this matter so much?”
“Because you matter that much to me.”
She looked away. “Why?”
I put my hand on her chin and turned her face toward me. “If you think I’m going to let you keep me at arm’s length by allowing you to call this casual, meaningless sex, you’re wrong. You’re important to me.”
She brought her hand to her hair and ran her fingers through it. “This is too much. Too fast.”
I dropped my hands from her face. “Then, we’ll wait.”
“What?” she all but shrieked.
“You heard me. If intimacy is off the table, so is fucking.” I eased by her and walked toward the hallway.
“Where are you going?”
“To bed.”
“But…but…”
“If you’re willing to give yourself to me the way I’m giving myself to you, say so.” I waited, watching the conflict she was feeling play out on her face, in her eyes. When she didn’t say anything, I kept going, into the same bedroom I’d slept in the night before.
17
Stella
What in the name of God just happened? I was standing alone and naked in the main room of the cabin after, only minutes ago, Buck had made me feel like the sexiest woman alive. With every touch, every kiss, every stroke of his tongue, my insecurities fell away, one by one. I knew he wanted me. Me. Just as I was.
Now, he was gone. Behind a closed door. And I didn’t know what to do. Should I follow? Knock? Ask if I could come in? Get in bed with him? Then what?
