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He was asking me for something I wasn’t sure I could give. The bottom line was, I never had before. When Jinx pushed too hard for “more” from me, I ended the relationship. When Buck made it clear he thought the mutual attraction between us was “something” as opposed to nothing, I’d balked and told him I didn’t have time for distractions. That wasn’t it, though.
I was honest when I told him I was scared. It was more than that. I was terrified. My worst fear, the one that sat deep in my subconscious, the one I never allowed to come to the surface, was clawing its way out, and I couldn’t let it. I left Buck’s t-shirt on the floor, blew out the candles on the mantle, and went down the hallway to the room I’d slept in last night.
I crawled under the cold sheets, wondering how I’d ever sleep without hearing the comfort of Buck’s voice. I hadn’t been apart from him for ten minutes, yet the yearning I felt, hurt. I covered my eyes with my arm, but that didn’t stop my tears.
The solution was simple. All I had to do was get out of this bed, walk across the hall, and tell Buck that he mattered to me too. I didn’t have to tell him how terrified I was that once I allowed myself to care too much, he’d change his mind and leave. He didn’t have to know any of that. All he’d asked me for, was to acknowledge that what we were about to do was making love, not having sex. That was all I had to admit, accept, allow myself to feel. He wasn’t asking me to love him, only to make love with him.
I had no idea how much time passed while I lay there, trying to talk myself into getting up and going to him. Maybe it was two minutes, maybe thirty when I heard my phone vibrate.
I jumped up and grabbed it, almost afraid to look. If it wasn’t Buck, my disappointment would be profound. I closed my eyes tight, turned my phone over, and slowly opened them. I gripped the phone as I read his simple words. Please, Stella.
I dropped my cell on the table and opened the bedroom door. There, leaning against the opposite wall, stood Buck, still naked. I held out my hand. “Please, Buck, make love to me.” His eyes met mine. “Let’s make love to each other.”
I was breathless when he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. He walked me backwards, our mouths fused together. “Get on the bed, Stella.”
I did and scooted over so he could lie beside me. He reached over and turned on the bedside light.
“I want to see you.”
I nodded and held my arms out to him. When he lay beside me, I looked over his shoulder and saw several condom packets on the table by the lamp I hadn’t turned on.
I smiled and kissed him. “Thanks for not giving up on me.”
“Tell me this means something to you, Stella.”
“It means everything to me, Buck. Please don’t make me wait any longer.”
He reached behind him, tore open a packet, put the condom on, and rolled onto his back. “Come here,” he said, holding out his hand. When I straddled him, he put his hands on my waist. “We’ll take this nice and slow,” he said, lifting me so the tip of his cock was at my entrance. He eased me down onto him while I guided his cock inside me.
“Slow,” he murmured when I moved my hand so he could go deeper. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He kept his grasp on my waist firm when I rested my palms on his chest. I might be on top, but Buck was the one controlling how deep he went.
“I need to kiss you,” he said before rolling me over and holding himself above me. I felt his hardness ease farther inside me at the same time he covered my mouth with his.
“God, Stella,” he groaned. “You’re so tight, so hot, so wet for me. I feel like part of me has died and gone to heaven.”
I spread my legs wider when he started to move, wanting him to go deeper. I reached around and grabbed his ass.
Buck’s eyes met mine. “Tell me what you want, darlin’.”
“More. Harder.”
When he tucked a pillow under my ass and pressed deeper, I thrust my hips forward.
“Wrap your legs around my waist and hold on tight, Stella. Ol’ Buck is gonna take you for a ride.”
“I thought you were young Buck.”
He was so deep that groans came from both our chests as he filled me like I’d never been before. When he swiveled his hips, hitting my G spot, I felt my eyes roll back in my head. How was it possible for him to do that and angle his body in such a way that he rubbed my clit with every stroke?
He picked up his pace, and I met him, thrust for thrust, digging my nails into his flesh as I felt myself spiraling.
Both of us shouted out our release. As my breathing slowed, I felt Buck’s lips on my neck, scattering cool kisses on my overheated skin.
“That was a little quicker than I would’ve preferred,” he said between nips. “It’s been a while.”
That was quick? I ran my fingers through my hair that was damp with sweat. My God, what had I been missing all my life? “It was perfect, Buck.”
“It isn’t over, Stella.” He rolled to his side, got off the bed, and went into the bathroom. When he came back, he had something in his hand. He eased my legs open and covered my pussy with the damp, warm cloth. “You’re gonna be sore tomorrow.”
