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Without warning the woman stood up, straightened the chair and resumed her position on the opposite side of the desk. All signs of their cozy camaraderie gone. They were once again Administrator and secretary.
“Do make sure you phone your guru once you’ve returned to your desk.”
Stacy knew she’d been dismissed. Standing, she prepared to leave the office.
“Oh, and Stacy...”
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Two things. One, in this office, there will never be a need to hide any, uh, marks on your person. It is often an accepted aspect of life here. Though you do have the right to your privacy, and none can take that from you.”
“Yes, ma’am. And the other thing?”
“Yes. I’ve made certain you are on the top of the list to help torture that nurse you despise so much. Unless she adjusts her attitude quite soon, one of our clients will be calling for us to adjust it for her, and your services will be required. The question is, are you truly ready for it?”
Stacy blushed. She’d almost forgotten about the mental note she’d tucked away inside her brain about that bitch nurse. A small part of her that she hadn’t really known existed had perked up at the thought of torturing that bitch. Sticking her with needles just to cause her pain and enjoying the other woman’s torture. A larger part of her said she wasn’t sure she was ready to go down that path. That once she did, she would lose a small piece of her soul.
New thoughts swirled around her head as she returned to her desk, and it didn’t take long for her sulky attitude to return. She wasn’t asking the right questions? Well, how the hell was she supposed to know what questions to ask?
Rolling her eyes, she called Savon. He answered but informed her that he would unfortunately be unavailable for the next few days. He had a conference to go to that had been planned months before, and there was nothing to be done about it. She did chuckle when he promised to call her as soon as he was back in town and they could catch up and he could help her relax her mind again from whatever twisted mess she had turned it into.
If she didn’t like the man so much, she’d have been offended.
Beside her, the phone buzzed again.
“Yes, Ms. Pope?”
“You have no appointments today. If any arise, I will of course contact you on your cell phone immediately. Please find Tina and something that you have to take care of outside of the office for the rest of the day.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” She didn’t need to ask why she was being excused from work. She had a headache from all the questions floating around her head; she knew her boss had to be feeling the strain as well.
For a moment she simply stared at the phone. If this were a book or a movie, Tina would be calling her, somehow already aware that the two were supposed to hang out, outside of the office.
With a shake of her head, she decided that she’d catch up with her best friend later. Right now thoughts were swirling around her mind, memories and what-ifs clashing so loudly that at times she simply wanted to put her hands up to her ears and close her eyes as tight as she could. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs and force the thoughts to leave. She wanted to drown them out until she could figure out what was going on inside of her head.
Stacy left the office, but instead of going down to her car, she went up to the top of the building. It wasn’t an especially tall building, but it still provided her with a decent view. Leaning over the railing, she stared off into the horizon, and could practically hear Savon whispering into her ear.
Okay, fussing at her would be a more accurate way to describe it. “Stop fighting everything. You buzz around like a busy bee, but instead of collecting the nectar, you are all over the place like a hummingbird on speed.” She hadn’t thought that was a particularly zen phrase, and mumbled that. Savon merely shook his head and sighed. “The zen is in the meaning, not the words. Waves crash against the surf constantly. The water’s job is never done. But it is listening to that neverending journey that allows most people to find the most peace. Why? Because the waves will continue their task long after mere mortals are but a shadow of a memory in this world. Sometimes, the only way to conquer a situation is to allow it to happen.”
Standing there, watching the sun turn the sky rosy, she finally allowed her thoughts to run freely.
* * * * * *
“I didn’t think to look up here for you.” Tina nudged her. “How long have you been up here?”
“I’m not sure,” she answered honestly. Almost feeling like she’d just woken up.
“Wow. I think you actually hit a meditative state. Is that even a real word? Meditative? Anyway, I think you actually hit it. Savon will be so happy when he hears this. I think they may have to build a glass roof there... Maybe glass walls, too. It gets really cold in the winter, and I’m sure he won’t want to be out here in the rain.”
“Why would we be out here in the winter or in the rain?”
“Sweetie, if you hit that state here, I’m pretty sure he’d rather have construction crews come in while he’s gone and fix it so it’s your new meeting room, than have to try to figure out how to replicate that downstairs.”
There was a ping. Stacy looked down at her phone and chuckled slightly. “Too late. He doesn’t get a choice. Ms. Pope just sent me something about construction starting tomorrow.”
“So what were you thinking of?”
She wasn’t sure how to answer that. “I’m not sure. Nothing. Everything. I just let my mind wander. There are so many questions swirling around my head, I feel like it’s going to explode. I wonder why I let myself stay with that asshole for so long. I want to know what this fucking bite on my shoulder from Demetri means—what it really means, Tina. I want to know why I am so afraid of thinking about what I want to do as a revenge. After all, I sold part of myself just to get away from him, to get revenge on him, but I can’t even think about what I want without feeling stupid and going back to the thought of why wasn’t I good enough.” A tear fell down her cheek.
