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He’s already trampled them, she argued.
And still you didn’t say one word. Roxy’s right, you do give up on things too easily. No wonder you couldn’t hack it at your job, no wonder you got fired. You weren’t willing to fight for your reputation, why should you fight for a man you claim you care for?
Willow snapped her head up. She cared about Seth. No, that wasn’t right. Roxy had been right that first night I was home, after I found out the truth about Seth. Somehow, someway, she had already fallen in love with him. She loved his sense of adventure, his sense of humor. She loved the way he was always touching her, as if he couldn’t get enough. She loved his compassion and his giant ego. And she loved who she was when she was with him. The way she felt whole and completely accepted.
She had fallen in love with him. Why else would his pain cause her such grief?
“Fine, I’ll fight,” she told herself. “I’m not leaving this apartment until I’ve at least admitted the truth to him.”
The elevator doors opened but she just turned around and strode back toward his bedroom, embracing her anger. She allowed it to strengthen her for the heart-wrenching scene she knew would be behind the door. He didn’t want her? Fine, but like it or not he would hear what she had to say. He would not dismiss her again until she said what she had come here to say, damn it.
This time she didn’t bother to knock, she simply opened the door and strode in, ignoring the mess.
“You listen to me, fang-boy, I’m not leaving until I say what I came here to say.” She stood in the doorway, her hands on her hips and filled with indignation. “I didn’t go through all the trouble I’ve gone through simply to get into your apartment out of
obligation. Yes, I freaked out when I found out you were a vampire. Big deal. Any woman would have. Whether it was on the first night or five years from now, it wasn’t something I ever expected to hear. And yes, I left the second time. But you made it clear to me that you didn’t want me here. You wouldn’t listen when I tried to tell you I wasn’t calling you Freddy. I was scared, damn it. I was scared and tired and I needed to figure out what I wanted. And I did—I have. I know exactly what I want and I am not leaving here until you know what I want too.
“If I thought of you as a monster I wouldn’t have looked back after I left. I wouldn’t have cared if you were in pain. But I did. God knows I didn’t want to. I wanted to run. I wanted to be able to walk away and not look back, but I couldn’t, because for some reason it mattered to me that you were hurting. I couldn’t walk away. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t still scared and confused. And then I was even more scared and confused because I realized I did care what happened to you.
“I went through the trouble to find you to tell you that I wanted us to try and figure out what there is between us. I’m not here to promise to become your willing buffet—but I was here to ask for a chance. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I dream of you. Not because you are invading my dreams. I know you aren’t because it doesn’t feel quite as real when you hold me in these dreams. I dream of you because I care. I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I did finally figure it out.
“I am imperfect and full of flaws,” she admitted. “God, I’m standing here screaming at a vampire who right now is probably capable of killing me without any remorse. You’re so hungry you could probably drain me dry before you realized what you’d done, but here I am.
“You want me to leave, fine. I’ll leave. I won’t bother you ever again. But I will not allow you sit there and blame me for what’s happening to you. I will not let you go on thinking ‘oh poor me, she’s only here because she thinks she has to be’. I’m here because at some point I fell in love with your sorry ass and for the life of me, now I cannot figure out why, because you’re nothing more than some…some jerk with an…” Willow hesitated. Who could she compare him to? An image of the broody vampire from one of her favorite television shows popped into her mind. “…Angel complex. Don’t even try to pretend you are perfect either, it’s not like you don’t have flaws Mr. ‘Keep-a-girl-around-for-a-handy-snack’.”
Willow cleared her throat uncertainly. “The screaming portion of tonight is now over, and, I’ll admit it sounded better in my head. How can you expect me to ball you out when you’re sitting there looking pathetic? You know what, I’m leaving. It’s obvious you don’t want me here, and I won’t force myself on you. There was no way I was going to leave and let you have your nice little pity party without saying what I wanted to say. What I went through so much trouble to be able to say to you.”
Willow turned and stormed back to the door. Before she could get there, Seth was in front of her.
“Say it again,” he whispered.
“Which part, the part where I called you a jerk or the part where I told you that you were acting like a baby? she asked irritably. “Do you have to do the super-speed thing?”
His expression was so hopeful Willow felt her anger melting away. “Tell me the part where you said you cared, that you loved me.”
“If you don’t believe me, look for yourself,” she offered, her tone much more gentle than before. “Look inside my mind. Tell me what you see.”
She watched as Seth closed his eyes. As with the biting, now that she knew what he was doing she could almost feel the caress of his mind as he looked into her thoughts. She tried to hold nothing back, to let him see just what she felt, but wasn’t sure if what she did worked.
She could see the shock all over his face, but it was intensified when he opened his eyes. He looked as though he were afraid to believe her.
Tenderly he reached up and cupped her cheek.
“Willow…” he began but stopped, his voice sounding hoarse.
“I’m here because I want to be here. I want to be with you. I won’t lie, it took a little time to get used to the thought of you drinking my blood. But I came to realize that’s only a part of who you are. Seth, no man has ever made me feel anywhere near the way I feel when I’m with you. If you want me to leave, I will. But you can not force me to stop caring about you. No matter how mean you are, no matter how much you try to hurt me. Not even by doing something stupid like trying to sacrifice yourself from a future you don’t believe I want.”
“Gods, Willow.” Seth shook his head and began to sway.
“Let’s get you to the bed. And don’t argue with me,” she ordered.
Placing his arm around her shoulders, Willow circled her arm around his waist. Slowly they inched toward the bed. She knew he wasn’t really leaning on her, but didn’t try to press the issue, as they made their progress.
She watched him sway as he tried to keep his balance while she swept the clothes and other various items lying on top of it to the floor.
“Lay down,” she ordered. Without a second thought, she climbed on the mattress and lay beside him. “You need to eat something.”
Seth shook his head. “I won’t let you do this,” he protested.
