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Yes, my car was old. Yes, it was rusting on the undercarriage. But it was all I could afford after selling off everything to try and pay down as much of the mortgage on our house as I could.
When Bradley died, I had to take any job I could. Nicole hired me as a part-time employee until I could find something better, but no one wanted to hire a full-time mom with no work experience for any full-time position in this town. I sold off all I could, bought the cheapest car I trusted to haul my daughter around, and then threw everything else at our debt.
I knocked out most of it, but I still had forty thousand left on our mortgage to get rid of.
“Welcome back,” said the neighbor.
“Thank you,” I said.
“How was the drive?”
“It was fine.”
“In that car?” she asked.
“Yes. It gets me from point A to B safely. That’s all I can ask for.”
“Where’d you guys head off to?”
None of your damn business.
“Lily’s grandmother’s place.”
“Your mother or in-laws?” she asked.
“My in-laws. Technically.”
“You separated or something? I can sympathize. I’ve been separated twice.”
I looked over at Nicole, and she held her hands up. I watched her backtrack onto the porch and catch Lily just as she was heading out the door.
Nicole was trying to convince Lily to go inside with her so they could start cooking dinner, which I knew would result in Nicole simply ordering pizza.
“Or something,” I said.
I watched my neighbor nod her head as she took one last look at my car. She was new to the neighborhood. At least, new to me. I grew up here. My life with Bradley bounced me around to all sorts of places around the country.
Base life wasn’t the most glamorous thing, but we always talked about how we wanted to raise Lily near family. I grew up in Bend, Oregon, a town of ninety-one thousand people but the feel of small-town living. It was where I’d made my life. It was where I’d first met Bradley. It was the place I’d dreamed of getting back to whenever we wanted to settle our family down.
One more deployment.
All we had to do was get through one more deployment.
“You okay?”
My neighbor’s voice pulled me from my trance as I met her gaze.
“Oh yes I’m fine, thank you,” I said. “If you don’t mind, I’m gonna go inside and make up some dinner.”
“You mean order pizza.”
I eyed the woman carefully as I took a step back from her.
“Your friend stepped out on the porch and asked you what kind of pizza you wanted. Went back in when you didn’t answer. You okay?” she asked again.
“Uh-huh,” I said. “Well, then yes. Pizza. I should probably go.”
“Sure. One thing, though. Your car was humming down the street. You should probably get it looked at. It’s going to kick up a fuss with the neighborhood if you don’t.”
