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“I’m glad that you’re happy in life, and I’m thrilled that you’re doing what you love. But Carly, I need answers. Why did you run? So Colton broke up with you, and Daddy didn’t give in to you for once, is that really any reason to bolt? Just up and say ‘screw everyone I’m done’.” She emphasizes with her air quotes.
I’m exhausted, and as much as I was looking forward to our sisterly bonding, this ambush is certainly not what I had expected. So as usual, it’s fight or flight! This time, I chose fight. Daddy is sick, and he needs me.
“Sis, I know you want more answers, but now is not the time to push. Stop with the mother role and just be glad I’m here now. I am mentally and physically exhausted. If you want to sit and catch up, we can do that. If not, I’m going to bed, and will be sure to check into a hotel tomorrow for the remainder of my stay if you can’t respect what I’m asking. I’m here for Daddy. After he’s gone, I’m gone.”
I push to my feet to stalk off to the guest room, because knowing Savannah, she won’t stop. She’ll push until I break. I can tell my words sting her, as she wrings her hands together, her cheeks red with heat. She takes a deep breath, calming herself, trying to find the right words before continuing our spat.
“Okay, you’re still a stubborn smart ass, just like Daddy as usual. I won’t push any more. But Carly, I’m here for you. These last seven years, without you around have been hell. We’ve missed you so much. I wasn’t there for you when you ran away from us all, but let me be here now.”
She walks over and wraps her arms around me, giving me a tight squeeze before holding me out at arm’s length to look me over. “I’ll tell ya what, let me go get some family photos for us to look through, and we can catch up that way, yeah?” She nods, willing me to reply.
“Sure Sis, that sounds nice.”
She squeals, and jumps up, racing up the stairs. I lay my head back on the couch, and before I can exhale, she is back, tossing countless large bound albums on my lap. Grabbing one, she opens it up and starts telling me the story of her very own little family.
Savannah met Josh while she was in college. She was interning in the ER of the UK Medical Center, when Josh came in. He had been injured in a roof collapse at the mines he worked at. They fell in love almost instantly, she claims. He has since left underground work, and now works in coal sales, which keeps him away from home a lot. I can sense that she hates his job, but she tells me it gives her the opportunity to stay at home with the twins. Being a mom means so much to her, and she enjoys being there for all of the special memories the twins are creating every day.
We sit for hours, looking through hundreds of pictures of her and Josh, their wedding, the honeymoon, then the sweet baby pictures of her twin terrors Brailee and Braden. Savannah makes sure to not leave out a single detail either. I’m pretty sure she has never thrown away one single thing of the twins’ since birth. Heck, she even had their umbilical cords and first pacifiers. I can’t help but laugh at the mother she has become. But she takes pride in the love she showers her children with, a love we were neglected of as kids. Guilt pangs me, as I think of my little one that I lost so many years ago, and I can’t help but wonder, what kind of Momma would I have been?
Finally around three a.m., we put away the photo albums and stagger off to bed. After a long day of travel, and an emotional reunion, I am completely busted. I climb into the guestroom bed, and stretch my limbs into relaxation. I pull the heavy down comforter tightly around my face, and snuggle deep into the pillow. It has been forever since I’ve slept in a bed other than my own, but before I know it, I drift into a peaceful slumber.
Chapter 3
As promised, I am back at the hospital bright and early the next morning to spend the day with Daddy. Savannah has a school trip to attend with the twins’ class, so this was the perfect chance for Daddy and me to have some real quality time with one another. I’m a Nervous Nelly, because I know he has as many questions as Savannah did. No, more.
I stop by the hospital café, to get some orange juice and donuts for Daddy and me to share. He refuses to eat the mess they call food here in the hospital. Savannah tells me that he basically lives off of Ensure and Orange Juice. Most foods turn his stomach too much anymore, but donuts were always his favorite snack. If anything, it will be a sweet gesture.
I get to Daddy’s room just as his team of doctors are making their rounds. They perform the usual glance and nod of his file, check his vitals, ask how he is feeling, if he has any questions. Then they are on their way back out the door.
I can tell instantly that Daddy is weaker than yesterday evening when I visited him, so as the doctors leave the room, I follow. “Excuse me, doctor?” Not sure which doctor I should be approaching, I speak to the small group as a whole. The oldest of the five turns on his heels, and focuses his attention directly on me.
“Yes ma’am, I don’t believe we have met. My name is Dr. Michael Hatfield, I’m the director of Oncology here at Williamstown Cancer Center, and the lead specialist treating Mr. Simon. And you would be?”
“Carolina Simon, I’m John’s youngest daughter. I’ve only recently found out about my daddy’s illness and I have several questions for you, if you don’t mind?”
“Yes, Ms. Simon. Let’s have a coffee together in the Family Conference Room. It’s just down the hall to your left. I will be in shortly, I just need to finish the last of my rounds.” Dr. Hatfield states before turning back to his colleagues.
I find the Family Conference Room with ease, and help myself to a cup of coffee. Dr. Hatfield catches up with me quickly and begins to fill me in on Daddy’s prognosis.
Apparently, Daddy has an aggressive lung cancer-Small Cell Carcinoma. The doctor says that they have treated the cancer to full extent, and it is only a matter of time before his lungs will fully collapse, because the cancer has completely consumed his frail body. In his professional opinion, Daddy will be lucky to live a few more days. He assures me that his staff is doing all they can to ensure Daddy is comfortable in his final days.
Fighting back the tears that threaten to stain my cheeks, I shake Dr. Hatfield’s hand, thanking him for his time. I leave the conference room in search of a restroom, so I can calm myself before going in to visit Daddy.
He’s weak enough, and he doesn’t need to worry over my heartache. I want our time together to be special, and memorable. When
I get back to Daddy’s bedside, I see that he has already helped himself to a couple donuts, and drank all of his orange juice. “Good morning, Daddy, you didn’t give them nurses a hard time last night, did ya?” I kid him.
“Nah now, princess, you know me. If I like ya, I’m gonna give ya a hard time! It’s all in good fun. The donuts you brought were tasty. Thanks, Princess.” He says with a wink.
I lean in, giving him a warm hug. Sitting down in the small leather recliner, I prop my feet up. My emotions are rampant, and I’m not quite sure where to pick up. We have only made amends, but a seven year gap strains even the closest bonds. Twisting my foot back and forth at the foot of the recliner, Daddy senses my nerves. I’m sure our brief silence has annoyed him, as much as it has me.
“Carolina Jo, if you have something on your mind, out with it already. Time ain’t on our side, Princess. No need in keepin’ things bottled up any longer. You’re here, finally. Now let’s lay all the cards on the table. What’s on your mind?” Daddy says, and I can hear the anguish in his weak voice.
Shifting in my seat, I take a deep breath, trying to consider what it is I truly want to know. I have several thoughts in mind, but first things first.
“Why didn’t you come after me?” I can feel the heat crawl up my neck, flush against my skin, suffocating me slowly. We both have so many questions, and not enough time to get the answers. Daddy reclines his bed, to get a better look at me. He begins to pull his oxygen mask off, but I shake my head at him, so he leaves it tight on his face, so he can breathe easier.
“Princess, ain’t you learn
