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I rest my head against Daddy’s chest and spill all of the emotions that have been building me since I got Savannah’s call.
“Don’t cry, princess, it’ll be alright.”
Sitting back down, I dry my eyes, and reach Daddy a drink of orange juice. I grab the remote and shut the TV off. I know he has questions, so I tell him about my life while he catches his breath. Daddy talks about the mines, and the grandbabies. It takes him a little longer to carry on his side of the conversation because he struggles for air. He tries to keep the oxygen mask on, but he can sense the thickness of his words. So when he can, he takes it off to talk, sure to take his time. He inhales the oxygen mask deeply when he has lost his breath, which is often. But when he can’t he leaves it on his face, and I do my best to make out the words.
“I swear to ya, baby girl, those kids keep me young. Every day they come runnin’ through that door, and jump up on the bed squealin’ over their big day at school. They’re always bringin’ me drawins’ and finger paintins’ to cover the walls with.” He says, pointing around the room.
“That Brailee, I tell ya she is just like you when you were a girl, spunky and all out attitude. Such a drama queen, that girl. But she has her papaw wrapped around her little finger.” He says, holding up his pinky.
“Then Braden, he’s all boy. He’s quiet, but smart. He loves the coal mines. He always gets so excited to see the coal run off the belt, into the pile. He swears the family business will be his one day. Heck he could probably run it now, he knows so much about it and he’s only six! They really bring a lot of joy to me Carly. Speakin’ of grandchildren, where,” Daddy trails off just as the door bursts open and in comes two little ones hopping around the room, arms flailing, with ear piercing shrills. They’re just filled with excitement and talking so fast I can barely make heads or tails of what they are carrying on about.
“Alright y’all let’s settle down, you know not to come in this hospital room acting so rambunctious! Your papaw don’t feel well. Now, come sit and meet your Auntie Carly!” Savannah instructs the twins and I watch as the excitement falls from their faces when they notice the stranger in the room. Brailee walks over to me first.
I open my arms to pull her into a hug, but she surprises me by climbing up on my lap. I give her hugs and tell her I’m happy to finally meet her. She smiles her toothless grin, and says, “well, where ya been all my life? I’m six already, and I’m just meetin’ ya!”
We all laugh at her brazenness. Yep, just like me.
Braden makes his way over, leans into me and says quietly, “Hey, Auntie Carly”. I hug him back, quickly, before he hurries himself back over to Savannah.
“Alright y’all, I brought dinner. Carly Jo’s favorite, fried chicken with all the fixins'. Kids, go wash up, and sit down at the table, so we can all eat.” Savannah tells us all in her motherly voice. I never pegged her for the domesticated type, but it fits her well.
We all eat together and enjoy the rest of the evening reminiscing over stories of when Savannah and I were just kids. Daddy’s face is lit up with smiles all evening, and I can tell that he is cherishing these very moments. He seems at ease, and looks like the worry has been erased from his face. I think he feels whole again.
The kids are finally wearing down, so Savannah tells them to give hugs and kisses, and say goodnight. They fuss a little, but Daddy tells them to be good, and they can come back tomorrow, but not to forget the donuts when they visit next time. I help Savannah wrangle up her rug rats, before telling Daddy goodbye.
“I’ll be back bright and early in the morning to see ya, I want ya to get some rest, and don’t give these nurses too hard of a time, ya hear me, old man?” I laugh, trying to brighten his spirits.
“Ah, go on home and get some sleep, and don’t you worry about this old man, I’ll be just fine.” I kiss him lightly on the head one last time, before leaving.
We arrive at Savannah’s house just before dark. The twins are so excited that they get to have a sleepover with Auntie Carly. After filling their tummies up with cookies and ice cream, I help Savannah bath them, and get them ready for bed. They both insist that I read them a bedtime story, which somehow turns into a pillow fight between the three of us.
Finally, we all say goodnight, and I tuck them in as tight as a bug in a rug, as Daddy used to tell us. Shew, I never realized how much energy six year old kids had. These two are like the eye of a tornado, two miniature walking disasters. But dang if they ain’t a barrel of fun.
Savannah is on the phone, while folding laundry, so I find the guestroom on my own and decide to change into some comfy sweats, before heading back downstairs to catch up with my sister for a while.
On my way downstairs I notice the pictures lining the walls of the happy family I’ve been erased from over the years. There are pictures hung of Daddy, Brailee, Braden, Savannah and Josh. There is even a picture of my momma, Elizabeth with Savannah’s family taken at Christmas. I can’t help the pain I feel, knowing that I’ve missed so much.
Momma was rarely ever around for us, growing up. Daddy raised us, while Momma moved on with her new husband, Garrett, living the good life in Florida. She’s happy, it seems.
Savannah creeps up on me while I gaze from picture to picture, taking in all of the happy moments they have shared. “I see you made it out of the twins’ room alive! Come on, let’s go relax, and have a drink. I think we’ve both had a long day,” Savannah says, pulling me down the stairs, into the kitchen. She pulls two wine flutes and a bottle of Moscato from the cabinet. Pouring the bubbly, glistening liquid in the flute, she slides the glass my way, and motions with her head towards the living room. “Go put your feet up, while I dig through my emergency chocolate stash!”
I laugh, because she has always been the one to hide her goodies. I figured she would have grown out of that habit by now. Good to see some things never change.
It feels good to sit down and put my feet up, after an emotion filled day. Savannah comes traipsing through the room with her wine glass in one hand and bowl full of goodies in the other. Plopping down on the couch, she starts her inquisition.
“So, it’s been what? Seven years, and I still don’t know why you left. Daddy still refuses to talk about it.” She glares at me with her fiery green eyes. Savannah has always been the happy go lucky, bubbly sister. But she is also full of determination, and once she has a thought in mind, she sets out to achieve it. “So what caused you to walk away?”
Sighing, I know I might as well bite the bullet, and tell her what she wants to know, because otherwise I’ll never see a moment of peace while I’m here. I don’t wa
nt to spend the time with my family to be spoiled with tension, swirling the air around us. But I don’t think I’m brave enough to tell that part of my story just yet.
“Savannah, it’s all a long story. I’m just not comfortable talking about it. I appreciate your respect, when I say that some things are best left alone. The last seven years of my life have been far from easy. But the battles I’ve fought, have been just that, MY battles. What I choose to share with anyone is my decision. I’m here because I don’t want Daddy to die, with our relationship hanging by a thread. I came to make amends, and spend what time we have left together.”
Cutting me off, Savannah speaks up again, “That’s fine, Carly, and I can respect that, but I need answers. You’re my baby sister and you have no idea how many sleepless nights I’ve had because of you!” I never expected Savannah to be distressed over my absence.
“I left because I was dealing with too much in my life, and felt I had no one to turn to. Colton had just broke up with me, and when I turned to Daddy with a huge dilemma, he forced me to stand on my own two feet. You were away at UK, and I felt like I was alone. So, I moved to Myrtle Beach to start over. I worked at the Pier for a while waiting tables, but after a year or so, I realized that wasn’t going to always pay the bills, so I decided to go back to college. Coastal Carolina is only about an hour away from Myrtle Beach, so I got my BA in Business Management. Now I manage a mom and pop hotel on the oceanfront. The owners handed full management over to me last year. They retired and moved to Florida. So not only have I fought my battles, but I have won most of them. I made something of myself, I love what I do, and for the most part, I’m happy.” I shrug, satisfied with the rapid rewind of the last seven years of my life, but I know she isn’t.
“That’s it? That’s all you want to tell me?” Savannah stares at me with questioning eyes. I shrug my shoulders once more and reach for a piece of chocolate.
