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Colton: Heidi Jo wants to see you. Wanna stop by for supper?

I toss my phone back inside of my purse and head back to Simon Energy, ignoring Colton’s text. We have barely spoken since I told him about Luke, and I’m not sure I can deal with seeing the hurt in his eyes again. It’s there, embedded in those chocolate brown eyes and I cringe at the thought that I’m the cause for all of his heartache. I’ve apologized and that’s all I can do. I hate the distance he has put between us, but I understand. I crushed his heart and turned away from him when he needed me most. I deserve the silent treatment he’s giving me.

I put my mind to work on the weekly productivity reports when I get back to the mines. Anything to stay busy, to keep my mind rolling through anything unrelated to my personal chaos is welcome. Productivity is terrible. The coal business is always slow in the winter months, but this year it’s almost at a standstill. We discussed layoffs at the last Supervisor meeting, but decided we could hold off a few more weeks before making such a drastic decision. I hate the thought of any of my miners going through hardships, but I can’t let my heart get in the way of what’s best for Simon Energy.

My phone dances across the desk as the screen lights up. I pick it up to see another message from Colton.

Colton: Supper, Carly Jo. 6pm. Please come.

Please? Maybe he’s ready to talk. Glancing at the time, I see it’s only three thirty. I have enough time to finish up my paperwork and run home to clean up, IF I decide to join them for supper. He said Heidi Jo wants to see me, so maybe that’s the only reason he’s inviting me over. Regardless, it’s a step closer to resolving this angst between us. I don’t know that we will ever be the same, that he will ever forgive me. I want us to be together, to be a family. It kills me that I let things come between us, rather than trusting him with my heart. I coerce myself that supper with Heidi Jo and Colton is harmless, so I shoot him back a quick text before settling back into work.

Me: Been in a meeting all day. Supper sounds nice. I’ll see ya at 6.

At five PM I pack the productivity reports into my messenger bag, then leave the office. After taking a quick shower, I dress in black leggings, a loose fitting grey dolman sweater and my favorite black Bear Claw boots. I touch up my makeup and spritz on some Japanese Cherry Blossom perfume before heading to Colton’s for the evening.

I barely make it up the steps of the porch when Heidi Jo comes barreling through the front door wrapping her arms around my waist as she nearly sends me tumbling backwards. “Carly Jo, Carly Jo!! I’m so happy you came to see me!” She squeals, hugging me tighter. I ruffle her hair, laughing at her excitement.

“Well, Heidi Jo, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you missed me.” I kid her.

She steps back, and motions for me to lean closer to her. She brushes my hair aside and whispers to my ear, “I did miss ya, but I think Daddy might’ve missed ya more. But don’t tell him I said so, ‘kay?” A glint of cheer shines through in her sweet brown eyes, and I can’t hide the giggle that bubbles up in my chest. She is always looking out for her daddy, but I guess that’s because they are all the other one has. She takes me by the hand leading me inside the house. “What’s in the bag, Carly Jo?” She asks as I pull my boots off.

A wicked smile tips up on my lips and I lean in to whisper to her this time. “Rocky Road ice cream, sweets.”

“Oh yummy, I can always eat some rocky road ice cream.” She says, taking the bag as she bounces off to the kitchen singing, “Daddy, Carly Jo is here!” Stepping into the living room, I get a clear view of Colton rushing around the kitchen as he tries to finish dinner. A bowl of potatoes whips round and round on the stand mixer, while Colton flips pork chops in the frying pan. He looks over his shoulder at me and one side of his lips curls up into a smile.

“Hey,” he hollers over his shoulder. “Shit, I forgot the damn rolls.” He drops the oven door quickly, pulling out a pan of golden brown rolls, burning his wrist on the oven rack.

“Let me help.” I rush over to the counter turning the mixer off as mashed potatoes begin to fly from the bowl, splattering against the walls. He drops the pan of rolls onto the counter with a string of cuss words flying off his lips. Heidi Jo has her hand covering her mouth, trying to hide her burst of snickering. I gently take Colton’s hand in mine, assessing the burn. “You need to put something on that, do you have burn cream?” He looks down at me with a fierce gaze, then gently pulls his hand

from mine. Taking a step back, I pull in a deep breath bringing his delicious scent along with the air I inhale. He turns the faucet on, then runs his wrist under the cold water, chilling the freshly scorned flesh.

“I’ll be fine. Ain’t the first time I’ve burned the hell outta my arm cookin’. Won’t be the last, I’m sure.” He keeps his gaze away from me, and I can’t help but wince from the distance he is still putting between us. He invited me to supper, yet his personality is still sullen. I can’t blame him, but it still stings a little. I was really hoping that I could shake away the anxiety just for tonight, but it is slowly creeping up through my chest. Plastering on a fake smile with quivering lips, I stuff my nerves deep in my stomach and jump in to help Colton.

“Are ya hungry? I wasn’t sure how you’re eatin’ these days.” He asks as he pulls dishes from the cabinet to set the table with.

“I had a busy day, so I’m starving actually. Everything looks so good.” Not sure where to start, I plunder through the cabinet for serving dishes, then begin placing the ‘flyin’ taters’, green beans, corn on the cob and alfredo all in the dishes before setting them on the table.

Colton comes in behind me plating the fried pork chops and adding the rolls to a basket. “Ya gotta eat, Carly Jo. Remember, you’re feedin’ two now.” He glances down at my stomach quickly before turning away. I open my mouth to argue, but think better of it before the words fly from my tongue. He’s concerned about me and the baby; that has to count for something, right? “Supper’s ready baby girl, wash up,” he hollers down the hallway to Heidi Jo, who hasn’t paid a lick of attention to me since I showed up.

When Heidi Jo joins us at the table, she reminds us to say grace before we make our plates. “Ya gotta hold hands to say grace, Daddy. Grab Carly Jo’s hand.” She cheeses big from ear to ear. Colton hesitates briefly before sliding his calloused hand in mine and I willingly take his. Bowing our heads we bless the food. Heidi Jo certainly ain’t bashful about eating. She piles her plate full of food then begins to shovel spoonful after spoonful of mashed potatoes into her mouth.

“Carly Jo, why haven’t you been comin’ over any?” I nearly choke on my bite of food and I have no clue how to respond. Quirking an eye brow up at Colton, he glances in my direction, but continues eating waiting for my response. I take a swig of sweet tea, thinking quickly of what to tell her. She’s seven and doesn’t truly understand the friction between Colton and I. All she knows is one day I was around, the next I wasn’t. I’m only here tonight for her, because it’s clear Colton is suffocating with me in the room.

“Ahh sweets, I stay so busy with work.” I lie through my teeth. She continues to eat, accepting my lie for the moment.

“Daddy works a lot too, so I don’t get to see him as much sometimes.” She looks down at her plate, sadness pinching at her little eyes. “Daddy says his boss is a big meanie sometimes though.”

“Heidi Jo, be polite. You know better little girl.” Colton chides her. She shrugs her shoulders like it’s no big deal, obviously unaware that I’m the big meanie.

“Well it’s true.” She drags out in a whiney voice. “That’s what you say all the time when I get upset that you have to work. You say your boss may be pretty, but she’s a big meanie.”

“But it’s rude, princess. You’ve been taught better than that.”

“Well excuse me. Who’s the big meanie now? I can’t help it that I miss her, Daddy.” She pouts, her plump pink lips quivering as her brown eyes well with tears.

I grasp her hand in mine with a light squeeze comforting her before the tears fall. “Well maybe we need to have another girls’ day out, what’cha think?” Her eyes flicker up brightly, as she wipes away the tears that are just tipping over the corner of her lids with a bold, toothy smile.

“Can we do the bubbly water where they paint our toes and get ice cream?” She begs, pouting her lip out for emphasis.

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