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The end of the week came to a close with my feet dragging slowly behind me. With all of the commotion I’ve faced this week, the destruction at Black Ridge, being nearly ran off the road and playing games with Colton, I’m mentally and physically exhausted.
Keeping true to my promise of a girls’ day out with Heidi Jo, I arrange with Emma to pick her up early this morning. Colton is still avoiding me like the plaque and working the night shift just to keep from bumping into me. I thought having supper with him the other night was a bit of an ice breaker for us. Although the air was a bit congested, once we were alone he faltered showing his true emotions that he appeared to immediately regret. His kiss left me hanging by a thread, clutching on to the last piece of hope I have for us. But his mixed signals tug at me leaving me feeling disheartened. I don’t know which way is up, down or sideways with him anymore.
I knock lightly on the screen door and hear Emma yell to come on in, bickering that I even knocked. I snicker to myself as I open the door letting myself in. The smell of bacon permeates through the house, filtering through my senses immediately. I make my way into the kitchen where Heidi Jo is sitting at the island, finishing her breakfast.
“Mornin’ y’all. You about ready to hit the road little girl?” Heidi Jo nods with big rounded eyes as she munches on her bacon. Emma places a plate on the island next to Heidi Jo and points with her head for me to sit. I know better to argue with this woman. She may have nearly thirty years on me, but she will bust my ass like I’m a six year old little girl again. So I take a seat. The plate is piled high with pancakes drenched in buttery syrup, scrambled eggs, and bacon. My mouth waters instantly. She pours a glass of orange juice and sits it before me as she turns back to cleaning up her mess.
Heidi Jo shoves her plate back as she pounces from the barstool, “breakfast was yummy, Mamaw. Gotta hurry up so we can scoot!” She shouts as she runs down the hallway. As soon as she is out of sight Emma pierces me with a grumpy sneer. “Little girl, Colton tells me you ain’t been eatin’ good,” she pauses cocking an eye brow up at me, “you know that ain’t good for the baby. So if I hear of it again, your ass is gonna be sore from my eight and a half shoe stuck in it. Do you hear me?” My mouth drops. He told his momma? He told frickin’ Emma Weston that I was pregnant? Why the HELL would he betray me like that. I swallow quickly, choking on a bite of food, but wash it down with a swig of orange juice. Emma turns back to rinsing dishes as if her threat was everyday conversation.
“I’m sorry, just what has Colton told you?” I ask nervously. She turns around, giving a blank look.
“Did you not hear me, Carolina Jo? He told me that you ain’t been eatin’.”
“Yes ma’am, I heard you just fine. You also mentioned a baby. Did Colton tell you I was pregnant, Emma?”
She leans across the island wrapping her dish water wrinkled hands around mine as she tilts her head to side looking at me. “Sweetheart, I figured it out all on my own.” She sighs quietly, “now, why did I have to figure it out all on my own?” I cast my eyes down in shame as I drag in a slow, deep breath. I search for a response, but I refuse to lie, and I can’t bring myself to tell her the truth.
I glance up at her sadly, begging the tears to stay at bay as I speak with a wavering voice. “It’s complicated, Emma.”
She pats my hand softly saying, “It always is, little girl.”
Heidi Jo comes barreling through the house quickly, screeching in excitement. “Let’s move, woman,” she shouts as she pulls her boots on her feet.
Laughing at her sweet excitement, I make my way around the island to say goodbye to Emma who wraps me in a tight embrace. “Don’t give up on him, Carly. We all make mistakes, he’s just
too stubborn to understand that.” She kisses me on the cheek then holds me out at arm-length as she rakes her eyes over me from head to toe. A blissful smile tips up on her lips as she whispers, “Such a beautiful momma to be.”
“Thanks, Emma. I’ll be sure to have Heidi Jo home by eight PM and you have my cell phone if you need anything.”
“No worries, sweetheart. I’ll be out, so just take her home to her daddy.” She winks with a wicked grin on her face. I help Heidi Jo slip into her coat before wrapping her scarf loosely around her neck then we make our way out to the Camaro. I crank the stereo up as we back out of the driveway and begin our descent to Lexington.
Heidi Jo is singing to herself as she twists her hips in the seat to Timber by Pitbull and Kesha. She always has a happy glow about herself, smiling and carefree as any seven year old girl should be. I wish I could go back to the days. “Hey sweets, my sister Savannah and her little girl, Brailee are gonna meet us in Lexington for girls’ day. That alright with you?” I ask, glancing through the rear view mirror.
“I didn’t know you had a sister? How old is Brailee? Will she like me?” She asks nervously, which is an emotion I’ve never seen her portray.
“Brailee is seven just like you, and she’s almost as bubbly as you are. I think the two of you will have a really fun time together.”
“Awesome Blossom! I’m so excited. Can I get hot pink toes again? Pink’s my favorite color. It makes me stand out from everyone else I think.” She states with a very matter of fact tone and I have to cover my mouth to hide the snicker that is bubbling up in my throat. There is that bold and brazen Heidi Jo that I love.
“Only if I can get hot pink toes too, sweets,” I retort and that earns me an adorable giggle.
We drive over an hour west of Williamstown into Lexington, Kentucky. Savannah and Brailee are meeting us at the mall where we will spend our day. Gathering my things I climb out as Heidi Jo pops the latch on the back seat nearly pushing me out of the way to start her exciting day. I push the door closed pressing the lock button on the key remote, and turn after Heidi Jo who has her hands on her hips stomping her way towards the mall. “Hey,hey! Hold up there, little lady. My legs ain’t as young as yours so gimme a chance here, will ya.” I shout behind her. She turns around quickly crossing her arms over her chest as she waits impatiently for me to close in the ten feet of space between us. “Now listen, I know you’re excited, but you gotta stay close to me, sweets. Lexington is a busy city with people zippin’ and zingin’ in every different direction. I don’t want ya to get hurt, and something tells me that if I show up at your daddy’s house without his favorite spunky monkey, he may not like me too well thereafter. So you’ll stay close by, right?” I extend my pinky out to her to bind our promise and she follows. She wraps her tiny hand in mine and all but drags me into the mall.
“That’s a deal, Carly. But just between the two of us, Daddy will always love ya. So no worries there.” She winks with a blush on her chunky cheeks. That same dark lashed wink that Colton offers, Heidi Jo replicates unknowingly. I know this little girl has so much hope that her daddy and I will work out, but it breaks my heart to only imagine the hurt she’ll feel when she realizes we will never be. Will she hate me?
We find Savannah and Brailee waiting outside of the Tranquilian Blue Day Spa. I introduce Heidi Jo to Savannah first, then Brailee who she instantly links arms with and begins rambling on about how lucky Brailee is to have me for an aunt. The girls walk ahead of Savannah and I into the spa and begin oohing and ahhing at the different nail colors on display. Once we are called back the girls climb up in the kiddie pedicure chairs and talk amongst themselves, giving Savannah and I a few moments of peace. We sit in a comfortable silence, enjoying the mechanical fingers of the massage chair kneading our sore muscles, while the aestheticians scrub our feet raw.
By the time we leave the spa I’m so relaxed that I could fall right to sleep. But we have two very anxious girls who are ready to shop ‘til they drop. We run from store to store playing dress up with the girls as if they are oversized American Girl Dolls. Brailee and Heidi Jo insists on taking selfies on their iPods, while sporting their favorite outfits and the worst of the show. These girls are so much alike it’s uncanny. “They remind me of us when we were little,” Savannah says laughing at the girls as they dance around the fitting room in oversized derby hats and heels.
“I know, they’re hilarious to watch. It feels good to laugh this much again. I swear Heidi Jo can pop a smile on my face with her spunky attitude.”
“I’m so happy that she and Brailee are getting along so well. They are so much alike it kinda worried me at first. Brailee can be sorta bossy.” She points out. We sit down on the dressing room sofa together and watch the girls dancing around happily. I lean my head over on Savannah’s shoulder and she winces jerking away quickly.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m great. My shoulder’s just a bit sore. Must have slept on it wrong I guess.” She shrugs lightly as she casts her eyes down, her hair curtaining her face. “How are things with Colton?” She mutters quietly so the girls don’t hear her. I shake my head offering her a silent answer, because there ain’t much to tell. Nothing has changed since she last asked, except for the earth splintering kiss he planted on my lips only to shut down again, almost instantly. The memory pains me momentarily, but I push it aside and focus on the shrilling laughter that fills the fitting room. Savannah notices my unease so she changes the subject to a new recipe she found on Pinterest that she wants me to try.
After the girls are bored with their dress up charade, we decide it’s time for dinner. After debating with Heidi Jo and Brailee that frozen yogurt and cupcakes comes after dinner, we finally make our way downtown to Jaxson’s Roadhouse. It’s loud and busy, but what can ya expect for a Saturday evening. The hostess shows us to our table, and gives us the menu to look over. Brailee and Heidi Jo share a coloring page and barely look up to place their drink orders. I’m so happy that they are getting along so well. Heidi Jo could use a close friend to have play dates with. Other than dance class and school she doesn’t seem to do much, other than with Colton or his parents.
