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Scrubbing my hands over my face, I shake my head, trying to clear the doubt that clouds my thoughts. Taking a few more bites of pie, I shove the plate in Luke’s direction then pull back a long drink of tea.
“Oh, now you wanna share?” Luke jests, with a wicked smile on his face. He really is the sweetest broken soul you’ll ever come across and I thank God silently for letting our paths cross. He’s held my hand and saw me through many sorrowful nights.
“Lost my appetite. Thanks for the advice, Luke.” Leaning down, I kiss him on the cheek and I can feel the smile splay across his face as a rush of red heat covers his skin.
“Get on now, beauts. I’ll check on ya later.” He calls over his shoulder.
COURAGE:
cour·age noun 'k?r-ij,'k?-rij
: the ability to do something that you know is difficult or dangerous
We’ve been home from vacation for a week, and the house has never been quieter. Josh ended up having to make another trip to North Carolina to tie up some loose ends on a business transaction for AHCC. He calls each night to talk to the kids before they go to bed. He said he’d be home by Wednesday, so I counted down the days til his homecoming dreadfully.
I sighed in relief climbing into bed alone last night. Assuming that he was out having celebratory drinks with Drew, a very common event after he travels, I didn’t think twice about his whereabouts as I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. He wasn’t here and that’s all that mattered in that moment. When I woke up this morning and his side of the bed was cold, I began to worry. Don’t ask me why. Maybe there is still a small sliver of my heart that cares for him, loves him even, and I hate myself for just the very thought.
I nervously dial his number and my finger hovers over the send button momentarily before pressing it. He’s my husband. I have every right to call and check on him, right? The call goes directly to voicemail. Shrugging it off, I fix the kids breakfast then get them ready for day camp.
Going on about my morning routine, I switch the TV on a morning talk show for background noise while I clean the living room. I dust every nook and cranny, Windex the windows, vacuum the couch and polish the coffee tables. The morning show breaks for commercial and the local news gives an update of the daily headlines. I listen to the news-anchor mindlessly. Sabotage, destruction, charges filed, blah blah blah. Same old crap in small town Kentucky, just a different day. It seems like someone is constantly being caught up in legal trouble that the news piggy backs on. Any story that will sell I guess.
Suddenly, dread fills my bones. Turning towards the TV I see my husband being escorted in handcuffs into the county jail. The news-anchor finishes the brief story and the headline caption across the bottom of the screen reads “Moore charged with malicious criminal damage.”
I grab the remote pressing rewind to catch the full story, hoping to gather all of the facts before I overreact. Listening intently, my heart drops to my stomach and my breath catches in my throat. No. This can’t be true. I will my legs to move to the phone on the entertainment center and dial the only person’s number who can tell me truthfully what’s happening.
When Carly finally arrives a long thirty minutes later, I’ve deduced myself into a crying fit that has my chest heaving roughly in gripping anxiety. I can’t even breathe to tell her what’s upset me, but judging by the look of pity in her eyes she knows.
“Savannah, sit down sweets. We need to talk and what I have to tell you ain’t gonna be easy to hear.” She rubs small circles on my back, reaching me a glass of water. Taking a sip, I pull in a few ragged breaths trying to calm myself down.
“Carly, I’m so confused. Josh didn’t come home last night, then this morning I see him on TV in handcuffs. He was charged with some criminal damage charge. I-I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m really worried. I’ve called Drew and his phone goes straight to voicemail. I called AHCC and the receptionist hangs up as soon as I tell her who I am. What the hell is going on?” I wail.
“Savannah, listen closely and remember that I will always do anything that I can to protect you; which is just what I’ve been doing all this time. Can you do that, Sis?” She asks peering into my blood shot eyes. Nodding slowly, my breathing hiccups in my throat.
“Drew Varney ain’t exactly who you think he is. Yes, he’s Josh’s best friend and he is a competitor for Simon Energy. But it’s deeper than that. Savannah, Daddy hid so many secrets from us all of our lives and I don’t know if he did it to protect us or if he was just that ashamed of the mistakes he made. When I moved home, I was eager to clear everything out of the house that reminded me of Daddy. It was hard losing him, especially since we hadn’t spoken in so long, but I just couldn’t deal with the daily reminders that he was gone. I came across a large oak chest while I was cleaning out his closet.” She huffs a small laugh to herself as she shakes her head and I wonder what she finds so amusing at a time like this. “Oh the skeletons that I found in his closet.” She sings and my annoyance begins to grow stronger.
“Damn it, Carly. Just tell me!” I yell capturing my mouth with my hand quickly, not intending to be so hateful. My nerves are wearing thin.
Carly links her fingers through mine and looks down at our conjoined hands. “Drew Varney. He’s our brother.” Her eyes fall shut and a single tear slides down her cheek. I stare at my sister, awestruck and when a bubble of laughter falls from my lips I know I’ve heard it all now.
“Bullshit.” I laugh in her face. Carly turns around and pulls a slip of paper from her purse. Yellowed and ripped at the seams, she places the paper in my lap and watches me with a careful eye. My heartbeat thuds roughly against my ribcage as I pick the paper up and slowly unfold it. Reading each word over
and over the tears begin to fall.
Betrayal, deceit, hatred. Fury rushes through me and I don’t know what to do with all of the negative energy that flows through my veins. I’ve never felt this way before. My body tingles as a rush of heat slides up my back, but my limbs feel numb and lifeless.
Drew has been a part of our family for as long as I can remember. Almost every memory I have of the last ten years Drew is a part of. Our wedding, the birth of my children, family picnics and dinners. The friendship that he and Josh share is more like a brotherhood and the thought simply makes me want to gag. And I do. My stomach revolts with a twinge of utter disgust. I latch my hand over my mouth and rush into the bathroom, spilling the contents of my stomach in to the shiny white porcelain. Carly brushes my hair out of my face and presses a cool cloth to my neck as I rest my head on the lid of toilet stuck in obvious denial.
What the hell?
That’s the only question I can muster my mind to ask at the moment. I don’t understand how any of this can be possible, but I saw the proof with my very own eyes.
Standing on wobbly legs, I trudge back into the living room taking a seat on the couch. I curl my arms around a pillow, drawing my legs up in my chest, protecting myself instinctively. No, I’m not in harm’s way, not physically; but every word that will fall from her mouth is guaranteed to cut me deeper. “Tell me everything.”
Sitting beside me Carly starts at the beginning telling me about the hidden life insurance policy in the chest, to putting up a fight with James McCoy to learn the truth. She tells me that Drew seeks revenge of our family by trying to extort Simon Energy from her control. I can see the pain in her eyes as she speaks and I know that Carly felt she was protecting me by keeping these secrets. I teeter between fuming rage and sorrow listening to her, my mind twisted up in confusion.
When she tells me about being ran off the road, twice and attacked by Drew I seethe. The anger I feel is terrifying and I can feel my face flame with heat as my blood pressure boils.
“I’m shocked. I can’t believe I was just a pawn; and Daddy knew their plan all this time. Why? He knew Drew was his son, he knew the game they were playing. That son of a bitch knew the kind of monster I was marrying and he did nothing to protect me.” My voice shakes.
