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“It smells so good,” I groan. Diana spotted me a hundred dollars to pay for food and any necessities on my trip, but I was frugal—wanting a few extra bucks in my pocket, in case of an emergency, more than I wanted food from the ferry’s restaurant. I’d bought a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter and made due.
Sadie shakes her head like I’m crazy. “It’s just pasta sauce from a jar.” Her pale blue eyes are rimmed with dark circles and I can’t help but wonder what keeps her up at night.
“And garlic bread,” I note, as she pushes up the sleeves of her sweatshirt to grab the silver-bagged loaf from the oven. As she moves, I see her exposed wrists. Dark bruises punctuate her fair skin.
“When’s the last time you had a hot meal?” she asks.
I swallow, not exactly wanting Sadie to know how long I’d been on the streets. “Too long.”
She pours herself a glass of water, the sink leaking even after she turns it off. “Gah, I need to get that fixed.”
“Any cute repairmen in town?”
She blushes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “There’s a guy, Jim, who does repairs for the apartment complex.”
I frown. “Can’t your boyfriend help?”
Sadie sighs. “Ray’s always busy.”
Raising an eyebrow, I ask, “But Jim?”
She waves a hand in the air, brushing me off. Thinking about Jim made her happy, if even for a split second. I want to know if Ray gets the same reaction.
“So, when do I get to meet your boyfriend?”
She presses her lips together. “Ray will be home any minute. He works at an auto shop in Ketchikan.”
“And where did you guys meet? I mean, how did you end up in Alaska?”
“I worked for a cruise line that came up here, which was a pretty good job. Then I met Ray when we were at a port, and well, I quit. He likes me to stay close to him.”
I squint my eyes. “And what do you like, Sadie?”
“It’s not like that. I got a job at the Stop N Save. Being a cashier is a good job.”
“But you always wanted to see the world. Why would you quit the cruise line job?”
Sadie shakes her head, then grabs three plates from the cupboard and starts setting the small dinette table. “Are you going to lecture me about quitting? Because, Rem, you aren’t really in a position to talk.”
I grab the green can of Parmesan cheese and set it on the table. “Fair enough. I just… I want you to be happy. We’ve been through enough, you know?”
“I am happy,” she says softly.
In the small kitchen, we’re face-to-face. “Really?”
She gives me what seems to be a forced smile. “Really.”
Knowing that pressing too hard never gets results, I back off. Looking out the kitchen window I see that the apartment complex is next to a thick forest.
“What’s out there?” I ask, my eyes raking over the evergreens, cloaked in black. Being this far north means the nights come early.
Sadie shrugs. “No idea. But the land is all protected by some private group. Ray says the guys that live out here come to the shop sometimes to get their four-wheelers repaired.”
Before turning away, I see a lone wolf, standing on the edge of the forest. I point to it. “Do you–” But before I can even finish my thought, the wild animal darts back into the forest, out of sight.
Sadie places a lid on the cooked pasta. “Hey, while we wait for Ray, wanna see that box I have of yours?”
A few minutes later we settle on the carpeted floor of her living room with a shoebox between us. “I didn’t go through it, I mean, not too much at least,” Sadie says.
I pull off the lid, memories flooding my senses. The contents of the box smell like our last foster home—stale cigarettes and cheap beer. I pull out a strip of four frames, Sadie and me in a photo booth at a local arcade. We’re making funny faces and cracking up.
“How did we manage to smile like that?” I ask.
She wrinkles her nose. “Keep on, keeping’ on, right?”
I thumb through the other photos, a sum of my childhood—not in a single picture am I with an adult. No grown-ups were ever there with a hand on my shoulder on Christmas morning, or as I blew out birthday candles. It was always me against the world. Except for the years where I had Sadie by my side.
There’s an old keychain with a rabbit’s foot and a blue ribbon I got for my drawing in the school art show. “The story of my life, huh, all in this box?”
Sadie sighs, squeezing my knee. “You know, I saw my mom a few years back. She was still using, and living with the same guy who beat her.”
