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Sarah gasped at the mention of the blonde's name and Simon looked at her sharply and then turned back to me. "Well?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to buy some time while I scrambled for an excuse. How could he know anything about my connection to Claudia? The only person that I had told about my vision was Sarah and I could tell by her reaction that she hadn't told him. Besides, I trusted Sarah to never reveal my secrets.
"I was watching you on Saturday night at the East End," he continued, not letting go of my gaze. "You seemed perfectly fine until you saw Claudia."
I shook my head, not knowing what to say. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"I've tried to let it go. I've told myself not to care," Simon continued, almost as if he was talking to himself. "If you don't want to open up to me, it's not my problem. I have to stop making a fool of myself." He looked into my eyes fiercely. "But I can't. As much as you push me away, I can't seem to let it go. And it's because of the look you had in your eyes the other night. Like you were so scared you couldn't breathe. I can't handle seeing that look in your eyes."
I felt shattered by Simon's words but I had nothing to say to him in return.
"I saw that look again today when you saw Claudia. You were scared."
"No," I said, panic rising in me. Simon was just too perceptive. The more I tried to hide, the more he seemed to be able to read me. My mind was racing a mile a minute and I couldn't seem to form a coherent thought. So I just repeated the word "No" as I felt my throat closing in, tears welling in my eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of Simon so
I lowered my head, breaking eye contact and willing myself not to cry.
"Caitlin," he said with a harsh sigh. "I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you the other night. I was just so frustrated. And I was hurt. I admit it. You say we barely know each other but I've come to care for you so much that it scares me sometimes. The last thing I want to do is cause you pain. That's why it's so hard for me to let this go. Please. Just tell me what's going on."
My head was still lowered and I shook my head, feeling tears escape. I couldn't take any more today. After the weekend, my aunt's revelations and seeing him with Claudia today, I was at my breaking point.
"Stop!" I heard Sarah cry out as she rushed over, putting herself between Simon and I. I had almost forgotten that she was there. "Simon, just stop! You have no idea what's happening. What you're doing to her."
"Sarah!" I said sharply, looking up. She was dangerously alluding to my visions. If Simon had an inkling that he was right in his suspicious, that something was scaring the hell out of me, I had a feeling it would be impossible to discourage him.
They both ignored me as Simon shifted his gaze to Sarah. "What do you mean? What am I doing to her?"
"What I mean is stop messing around with her!"
"I'm not-"
"You are! You think you can just waltz in here, into her life, and expect her to lay herself bare to you. You have no clue what she has to go through. Do you think just because you have the hots for her gives you some right to demand her to tell you things?! She's the strongest person I know. I could never deal with the things that she has to deal with. But the last thing she needs is someone like you, especially you, making her-"
"Sarah!" I interrupted loudly, grabbing her arm and turning her towards me, cutting off her speech. "Please," I begged, my eyes imploring. "Stop." I whispered the last word.
The indignation disappeared from Sarah's face, replaced with horror. "Oh my God, Caitlin. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I was just getting so angry and..." She trailed off, glancing quickly at Simon who had gone still at her last words. His eyes looked unfocused as he gazed back and forth between us, as if trying to figure out a puzzle in his head.
I looked Simon straight in the eye. "Well, you can see that Sarah is a little overprotective," I said, trying to make my tone light. I swiped at the trail marks the earlier tears had made on my cheeks. "I think we're all feeling a little overdramatic today. I know I am. I guess our hormones are in overdrive." I cocked my head and tried to smile at Simon. "What's your excuse?"
Simon exhaled loudly, not returning the smile. "I can't play this game, Caitlin. I can't pretend that you're okay. But I can't seem to stay away from you. I can't handle you pushing me away all the time." Simon shoved his hand through his hair, looking frustrated. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"
He looked so defeated and forlorn that I had to stop myself from reaching up to soothe him, to stroke away the creases of worry from his forehead. The last thing I needed to do was encourage him. But I couldn't stop my next words. I had to do something about his pain.
"I'm sorry, Simon. My life is a little complicated. And I didn't mean a lot of the things I said the other night. Of course I didn't mean it when I said we didn't really know each other. That we were barely friends." Sarah's eyebrows rose at my last statement but she kept silent. "You have no idea how much I value your friendship. I just need some time. Please just give me time and I'll try and confide in you."
Simon looked dissatisfied with my answer but seemed to realize that this was the best he was going to get. He gave a rueful smile. "I guess I'll have to be happy with that."
I smiled widely, a real smile this time. I was relieved that he wasn't going to push anymore.
"Are you coming to Connecticut this weekend?" he asked, looking hopeful. "I promise, no pushing."
"You still want me to come?" I asked skeptically. I couldn't believe that Simon would still want me to come after all of this.
"Of course," he replied easily. "We can just have fun, forget about all the heavy stuff. Whatever the heavy stuff is."
He couldn't seem to help adding on the last part.
"Well..." I considered. Not only was I still tempted to go, despite everything, but I also thought about how Aunt Brenda lived in Connecticut. Maybe it was possible to make a quick trip to see her. I still had questions and I wanted to be face to face as she answered them. And as much as I needed to keep an emotional distance from Simon, I needed to keep him physically close until I figured out how to keep him safe. "Why not. I'm sure I can get someone to cover my shifts at Colette's."
