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"No!" Despite feeling deeply betrayed by Simon, I still felt the need to defend him. "He was able to take control before anything happened."
Sarah took a deep breath. "Caitlin, I know you care about Simon. But...maybe you should keep your distance from him. I don't think you're safe with him. You have no idea when his vardoger will take control. I mean, you slept in the same bed with him last night! How do you know he wasn't the one that locked the bedroom door? I thought I was going to lose it when I heard you screaming and I couldn't open the damn door!"
I could hear panic rising in Sarah's voice and I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes and trying not be affected by her alarm. She wasn't saying anything I hadn't already thought myself, but I knew I could never leave Simon. Even now.
"Sarah, it's my fault he's like this. It's me the vardogers want, and they're hurting the people closest to me to get to me. Simon needs me. I can't just let him fight his vardoger on his own. Besides, he can control his vardoger. The first time the vardoger took over his body, it was because he was so emotional about finding me. And today, he was upset because we were arguing." My voice became quieter. "I love him. I don't know why he's siding with my father right now and I'm angry enough to spit nails about it, but he needs me. And I need him."
Sarah was silent for a moment, and then she exhaled heavily. "I guess you know best. Just promise me you'll be careful. Don't turn a blind eye to the fact that Simon is dangerous now, just because you love him."
I promised Sarah I would be careful, and then filled her in about what I had found at the river. After I got off the phone, I laid in my bed, staring up at the ceiling, hearing my father's words in my head over and over again.
I was tempted to
ignore the knock on my bedroom door, but the second knock was more insistent, and I had a pretty good idea who it was. And he wasn't about to give up.
"Come in," I said, sounding like a surly teenager. Simon looked anxious when he stepped inside, closing the door softly behind him. I sat up on the bed as he walked over, not wanting to be in a vulnerable position.
"Are you here to convince me that I'm crazy?"
Simon sat down on the bed next to me, the corners of his mouth turning down. "I didn't say you were crazy. But don't you think there could be a logical explanation for all this?"
I stared at him disbelievingly. "Are you kidding me? What could explain all this away? And if I'm crazy, does that mean you're crazy too? What about Sarah and Grant? Explain where the hell my aunt disappeared to! What about her friends that also vanished into thin air?"
I didn't care that I was getting hysterical. I had more than enough reason to be angry. Simon put a placating arm on my shoulder but I pulled back from his touch.
"Caitlin, I told you I don't think you're crazy. Maybe something really happened to your aunt. By an intruder or something. We can report it to the police now that she's been gone for over 48 hours. As for her friends, they could be anywhere. Just because you haven't seen them again doesn't mean they're missing. As for what's happened with me...I'm ashamed to admit it, but maybe the stress of everything got to me and I broke." Simon was staring at his hands in his lap. "I never in a million years thought I could lay a hand on a woman. Especially you. But you disappearing made me go a little insane. I could be experiencing blackouts when I've become violent with you because...I'm too ashamed to remember. Maybe I'm having some sort of mental breakdown."
"No," I cried, wanting to throw Simon's words back at him. "I know you, Simon. You could never hurt me." I took in a long shuddering breath. "And none of that explains what happened with Sarah's vardoger. You're not the only one who saw it attacking me. Grant and Sarah saw it too."
"It was dark, and you were screaming. Maybe we all thought we saw something because of what was discussed that night. Everyone's imagination was in overdrive, talking about shadows and possessions, and maybe we saw something because we thought we should."
"Simon, please don't do this," I whispered. "I can't do this without you."
Simon looked at me with eyes blazing. He grabbed my hands and this time I didn't pull away. "I'll never leave you. Never. I'll help you through this. God knows I need help too. I must be sick. That's the only explanation I can come up with."
I felt more dead inside than I ever had. Worse than when I had fled Maxwell to find my aunt. Simon genuinely thought I was mentally ill. And he seemed to think there was something wrong with him as well. I felt that niggling doubt again.
"So you just want to just pretend nothing happened? That's impossible! I know what I saw, what I experienced. I know I'm not insane!"
The desolate expression on Simon's face slayed me. Almost as much as his lack of belief in me. His mouth tightened. "Let's not fight about this."
I ripped my hands out of his grasp, moving away from him. I forgot about my earlier vow to never leave Simon, my fury blotting out everything else. "I'm going back to Connecticut tomorrow morning. It was a mistake to come here. My father can't help me. I have to concentrate on finding my aunt. You can come with me or not. I don't really care."
I stood, walking to the bedroom door and opening it. I didn't turn around to look at Simon, my pain threatening to swallow me whole, but I kept my voice even. "Please leave my room."
I jumped when Simon spoke, not realizing how close he was to me, he had moved so quietly. I flinched when he reached up, but he just turned my head towards him so that I was facing him. His eyes were bleak as he looked at me.
"All I know is that I love you, Caitlin. We'll figure out the rest."
I slammed the door after he left the room, quivering with anger and hurt. How could I have been so wrong about Simon? Yet, how could I still love him?
I debated leaving for Connecticut tonight, but I was too mentally tired. I felt like I was going to become unglued at any moment. And I knew deep down that I would never leave Simon behind. I debated calling Sarah to tell her about Simon's latest slap in the face, but I decided no good would come of it. It would just make her worry even more.
I didn't know how long I lay in bed, wrestling with everything that was happening, when I heard murmurings downstairs. I went to my bedroom door and opened it a crack, straining to hear. My father and Simon were talking, but their voices were too quiet to make out what they were saying.
I slowly opened the door wider, stealthily making my way to the stairs. I crept halfway down the stairs, holding my breath and praying that they wouldn't creak and give me away. I crouched on the stairs, hidden from view, but I could hear the conversation they were having, even though their voices were low.
"I'm worried about her."
