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“Maybe he’s just stronger than you,” Sarah suggested.
I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s it. It wasn’t as though my powers just weren’t strong enough to destroy the vardoger. They were non-existent. It felt exactly like when my father made me wear palladium. My powers suddenly disappeared. I just don’t understand why it happened this time.” I looked at Ryan as trepidation mounted. “Is it possible for a seer to lose their power?”
Ryan studied me before answering. “It’s very rare and usually due to some sort of severe physical or mental trauma. I don’t think that’s the case with you.”
“Then what could it be?” I tried to suppress my frustration, but fear was making it hard. If I didn’t have my powers, how could I defeat my father? Was it somehow connected to my visions having stopped?
“You said if felt exactly like when you were wearing palladium,” Simon said slowly. “Is it possible that you have some on you now?”
I shook my head. “It’s impossible. There’s no way–“
I had been patting my pockets, like Grant had moments before, although it was just a gesture to show I had nothing, but my skin started to crawl when I felt a circular object in my pants pocket. I dug my hand into my pocket, my heart beating erratically as my fingers closed around a hard, round object. I already knew what it was before I pulled it out, but a part of me was praying that I was wrong.
I opened my trembling hand, displaying the round, dull object that seemed to be mocking me. Simon’s hand on my shoulder tightened but I didn’t look up at him. I couldn’t concentrate on anything except the palladium coin in my hand.
“I–I don’t understand how it got there,” I stuttered, a chill running down my spine. There was no way I had put the palladium coin that I had found at the scene of my mother’s accident in my pocket. The last time I had seen it, it had been tucked safely away in my dresser, underneath a pile of clothes. No one knew where it was except Simon and me. To make matters worse, I had believed that I had to be directly touching the palladium for it to negate my powers, but apparently it was so powerful that simply having it in my pocket was enough. That fact was almost as frightening as realizing that, unbeknownst to me, someone had slipped it in my pocket.
“Where did you get that?” Ryan’s voice was quiet but it didn’t mask the intensity of his question.
I lowered my hand, letting it fall limply on my lap as the coin glinted darkly at me. “I found it when I went home to Philadelphia. I had it hidden away in my dresser.” I shook my head. “I don’t know how it got into my pocket. I didn’t put it there.”
“Are you sure? Maybe you put it in there by accident. Or maybe it fell into the pocket of the pants you’re wearing while it was in your dresser.” Sarah was grasping for an explanation.
“No, there’s no way I would have put it in there, even by accident. I know how dangerous it is. And there’s no way it fell into the pocket of my pants while it was in the dresser. I’m more careful than that.” I didn’t add that I had checked to make sure it was still there after my conversation with Ryan last night. I didn’t want to remind him of the fact that I had adamantly denied knowledge of the whereabouts of any palladium. Based on the expression on his face, he didn’t need to be reminded.
“Maybe… maybe it’s possible I put it in there,” Grant suggested haltingly. “Well, not me, but my vardoger. I don’t remember taking the key to Ryan’s glove compartment, so I could have just as easily taken the palladium coin and put it in your pocket.”
“But you didn’t know where the coin was,” I said.
Grant shrugged. “I didn’t know where the key to the glove compartment was either, but that didn’t seem to stop me.”
I was quiet as I digested Grant’s words. I supposed it was possible, although I still wasn’t convinced. “I don’t know,” I finally said with a sigh. “I don’t think we’re going to figure it out tonight.” As frightened as I was, I didn’t want Grant and Sarah to panic. I gave Grant a small smile. “On the bright side, Ryan and I won’t have to stare at you while you sleep at night and trail behind you during the day anymore.”
Grant tried to smile in return, but it looked more like a grimace. “I guess that’s something.”
We were all exhausted, both mentally and physically, and decided that rehashing the same questions over and over again wasn’t going to help. It was better to go to bed and wait until tomorrow to go through everything again when I had a clear head.
Ryan stopped me as I was heading to my bedroom. “Caitlin, can I talk to you?”
Simon was a few feet ahead of me in the hallway and turned when he heard Ryan.
“Sure,” I replied, glancing over my shoulder. “Just give me a sec.”
I turned back to Simon, who looked ready to follow me into the living room. “You don’t need to come, Simon. I can talk to him on my own.”
The corners of his mouth turned down. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. We still don’t know how that palladium coin got into your pocket.”
“I doubt it was him. He’s the one that saved me, after all.”
Simon’s jaw tightened at my remark. “Maybe that’s what he wanted. It’s a convenient way to get you to trust him.”
I sighed in frustration. “Simon, please. You’re grasping at straws. No matter what, I’m perfectly capable of speaking to him alone. I’ll only be a few minutes.”
I turned around and walked back to the living room, relieved when he didn’t follow me. As much as I appreciated Simon’s concern, his need to always be watching over me was becoming a little stifling. I wished he had more confidence in me. I tried not to think about how much I had failed at being self-sufficient when Ryan had to save me.
“What did you want to talk about?” I asked. Ryan gestured towards the cushion next to him as he sat down on the couch. I joined him, although I left quite a bit of space between us. I was exhausted and I had a feeling that I knew what Ryan wanted to talk about. All I wanted to do was go to bed.
“The palladium coin.”
