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It was Ned.
I gave her enough time to collect herself before I p
rodded.
“Was it him?”
“Girl….” Jayne took a deep breath in and let it out in a loud huff. “I let him come over last night and… well, we slept together.”
“And I’m assuming, when you say ‘slept together,’ not much sleeping went on.”
“Unfortunately not. You know, I have a soft spot for him.”
“I know,” I said motherly.
“Just like last time, he got up right after we made love and told me he had to get home. I know it was because his wife called repeatedly while we were fucking.”
“Were you fucking or making love?” I asked her. “Because to best understand what is going on, you have to understand what it is that you are doing.”
“I made love to him.”
“And do you think it was the same for him?”
“He fucked me, Alise! Okay?” A long pause on the line ensued. “Then, he thanked me for a good time and left.”
“How did that make you feel?”
“I felt like shit. I mean, it was on the tip of my tongue to ask him, ‘good time for who’ because he damn sure barely penetrated me.”
“You would never do that to Ned.” It was true. She wouldn’t.
Ned was a tall and muscular guy, six feet three, and built like an alpha machine. However, Jayne complained about his small penis size, saying it was the one thing she would change about him if she could. She had even coined the phrase teenie weenie Ned when she got over their initial breakup. But she let him back in her bed more times than once since then. She stopped calling him the nickname once they started back hooking up. Still, every time she brought his name up to me, I could only think of that name.
“No, I wouldn’t tell him that. I just sat there speechless as I watched him find every article of clothing of his that we’d scattered through my apartment, and he meticulously dressed and went home to her. Alise, I swear, if I could cut my feelings for him out of my body, I would do just that. I don’t know what kind of hold he has over me. It sure isn’t that he’s pulling my soul out of my body through my vagina, so that theory is out.” She paused, sighing. “I just love him so much.”
“I get it that you love him, but what you have to understand most is that he’s still the guy that left you and married another woman.”
I hated to bring up the painful memory of a time when Jayne had been Ned’s main girlfriend up until the moment she read about his nuptials to another woman on Facebook. He was such a coward that he didn’t have the nerve to tell her face to face that he was getting married but not to her.
Her voice fell an octave as she said, “You’re right. I spent two years engaged to this man, and he ran off with another woman and her child. Then, he comes back to me with tears in his eyes, begging me to talk to him. I can never turn him down. I open the door, let him in, one thing leads to another, and we end up tossing and turning in my sheets. Every time.”
“He has a stronghold on you.”
“I know.”
“And you have to figure out how to get out of his hold.”
“The only thing that jars me back to reality is his wife, Eliza. When his phone rings over and over during sex, I lose interest. I know, when it’s over, he’s going back home.”
“You know what? I’m not even going to tell you that you shouldn’t have let him in, because you already know that. You just have to figure out how to say no to him. Maybe you’re the one that should be looking for a new man instead of trying to hook me up. They say the best way to get over one man is to get under another one.”
“I knoooow,” she said, allowing the word to drag out dramatically. “It’s just something about him that keeps pulling me back to him.”
“Well, we both know what it ain’t.”
She laughed, and I joined her.
“No, it’s not because he’s packing, Alise. He isn’t, but the way he makes me feel when he wraps his arms around me and kisses me like there’s no tomorrow. He makes me feel safe. You know, like I can depend on him to be there.”
