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But the therapy had to be working, because she didn’t have the heart to turn him down. In all honesty, after eight months’ deprivation, she craved every moment with him.
“All right. I’ll change and be with you in a minute.” Without glancing at him, she hurried over to the drawers and drew out the things she needed, but one item was missing.
“I hung your robe on the bathroom door.” He read her mind, just like he used to do.
“Thank you,” she said and quietly slipped into the bathroom, her pulse beating far too fast to be healthy. Heavens! She felt much more shy than she had on her wedding night.
How many times had they made love during their six-year marriage? At least several thousand anyway. They were expecting a baby, yet she could easily be that same virginal bride who was anticipating their wedding night with all that excitement and maidenly fears that were part of her heritage being brought up by nuns.
Tortured by the nature of her thoughts, she showered and prepared for bed, praying that Cord might have started watching a show on TV while he waited for her. Hopefully he’d be too engrossed to care about a game and she could go right to sleep.
But she’d forgotten that he disliked television except for some of the nature films. He preferred reading the newspaper to watching the news which he claimed didn’t give the true story on anything. She happened to share his opinion.
When they’d lived in the Tetons, they didn’t bother to buy a TV set. They both read a lot of books. But mostly they talked about what they’d done during the day while they made dinner and did the dishes together.
Afterward they’d play games, or put on music and dance. Later, they made passionate love. Those years had been so idyllic, maybe she shouldn’t have expected life to go on like that.
When she tiptoed from the bathroom wearing the yellow crushed-nylon robe which would barely fit by the time she delivered, there was no sound from the TV to greet her ears.
Instead, Cord had changed into his green robe and was sitting next to her bed, the Boggle box in his hand.
Don’t think about the last time you saw that robe, Ashley, or it will tear you apart all over again.
Cord glanced in her direction. She felt his probing gaze linger on the outline of her body before he patted the mattress. He might as well have been touching her. “Come on and get in. We’ll use this side of the bed for a table.”
Ashley walked around the end of the bed and got in as gracefully as she could, but it was a terrible struggle to remain dignified. “Don’t you dare laugh at me,” she snapped when she noticed his mouth quirk. Inching her way until she was lying on her side facing him, the covers reaching her chin, she added, “A man will never know what it’s like to resemble an overgrown tuna who can’t get around without being hoisted.”
As he adjusted the pillows for her, a low bark of male laughter burst forth, its sound thrilling her in spite of her efforts not to be affected by him.
“You could never look like a tuna, darling.” But there was a distinct twinkle in those blue depths that told her he could see her as something else.
“A plump partridge then?” she prodded.
His smile broadened. “I’m in enough trouble with you as it is, so I plead the fifth out of self-preservation.”
His words, tossed in the air during a moment of funning, found an unwitting target.
Before she lost her courage she said, “Tell me something, Cord—”
“Anything,” he came back so fiercely, she realized that all levity had ceased for him, as well.
She bit her lip. “When you saw that I was pregnant, why did you assume it was Greg’s baby?”
Lines darkened his handsome features. “When I passed you in the hall, it took me a second to realize that it was you.”
His eyes searched hers. “You knew how much I loved your long hair.” His voice grated. “I figured you would never have cut it unless you’d done it for another man. In my gut I knew you hadn’t slept with Greg, but I was so eaten up with pain and jealousy, I said it to make you mad enough to reveal the true father’s name.”
Another wave of guilt assailed her. “I—I’m sorry you had to find out about the pregnancy the way you did. With hindsight, I can see that keeping it from you was the wrong thing to do,” she whispered. “You had every right to know about it as soon as I did.” Her voice caught.
“As far as my hair, you have to understand that growing up, I thought I would become a nun. Sister Bernice said I would have to have it all cut off if I joined an order, so I decided I would always keep it long until that day arrived.
“Obviously I passed out of that phase by my senior year in high school, but my hair remained the same length. When I discovered I was pregnant, I had the usual morning sickness and felt hot all the time. That’s when the idea came to cut it short. It wasn’t done to hurt or shock you on purpose, Cord.”
“I realize that,” he admitted in thick tones.
“It’s just that after all these years, it was fun to try something new and I thought it would be easier to take care of with a baby. But I know I look very different now.”
“Do you honestly think your hairstyle makes any difference to me?” he bit out. “Hell, Ashley, you look beautiful either way. As for regrets, I have too many of my own to reproach you for anything. You’re carrying my child and you’re both healthy. Everything else fades into insignificance.”
