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“Not about everything. That’s why he was so good at it.”
She crosses her arms.
“So, you believe him more than me? Why don’t you just shut up and listen when I say I’m fine. I’m here ’cause I want to be.”
I shrug.
“Okay. Maybe I’m pushing things a little harder than I should. But another woman I cared about got killed because of me. I’m not letting anything like that ever happen again.”
She pats me on the arm.
“You need to calm down, drink some tea, and hug a teddy bear.”
“I’m serious. No one else gets hurt.”
“Everyone gets hurt around you, but we stay anyway.”
“And sometimes I wonder if that’s a mistake.”
She puts up a finger and aims it at my chest.
“You know, there’s a fine line between caring and pissing people off. If I say I’m okay, I’m goddamn okay. Stop playing Mr. Sensitive and trust me. You want to see things get fucked up between us? Keep not listening to how I feel.”
I look away, then back at her.
“I see your point.”
“Smart boy. Stop worrying about all this relationship stuff. You’re really bad at it.”
“You’ve got to give me points for thinking about things.”
“You’ve got to give me points for kicking your ass if you don’t believe me again.”
“Done.”
She rubs her chin with her index finger.
“One thing. Your friend in the closet, he could see me through the glamour. What do you see when you look at me? Candy or Chihiro?”
“Don’t tell me you’re jealous of yourself.”
“Put a sock in it, Jack Benny. Can you see me?”
“I see both of you. Sort of a ghost hovering over another ghost. Chihiro is in the foreground, but I can see you just fine.”
That seems to satisfy her, but she’s still frowning.
“You know what I’m really afraid of? Meeting new people. You and Brigitte and our friends know who I am under all this magic, but when I meet someone new I’ll just be Chihiro. That means the first thing that person knows about me, the first thing I tell them, will be a lie.”
“I thought about that. But consider the alternative.”
She taps her round sunglasses against her knuckles.
“Yeah. I wonder if there’s a statute of limitations or anything on assault. Maybe I don’t have to hide forever.”
“I don’t know. I’ll ask Julie. But, you know, the law might not be the same for Lurkers. The government was already throwing you in internment camps. I don’t think forgiveness is high on their agenda.”
She slips on the glasses. Does an unhappy half smile.
