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Heather released a cleansing breath, continuing her job with the ornaments. She came early, hoping not to run into her mother. With so many last-minute details, her mother delegated more of her duties and she hadn’t visited the school. Or maybe she was with Heather’s father.
That’s what she couldn’t understand. Why the secrecy? If they were so proud and would get married without her blessing, why hide it from her?
Heather rubbed at her eyebrow. How did she react when her father showed? She ran away. She didn’t care to hear what he had to say. She did the same with Allen. Would it have been hard to hear his explanation?
She had to stop running. That’s all her six-week rule did for her. It provided a way of escape. She gave up at the first bump in the road. Her bottom lip trembled as she grabbed her coat. She waved goodbye to Abigail, claiming she needed to rest her leg, but she wanted to be alone.
On the way home, her vision blurred from her tears. She pulled into her driveway, taking her time as she walked on her snow covered walkway. Carmen would return with Tinsel at any moment.
Until then, Heather walked to her bedroom and searched for the box with the letters from her dad. Grabbing the shoe box, she sat on the bed with it in her lap. Did her answers lie in the box? The paper rustled in her hands as she opened the first one, dated one year ago.
Heather,
I can’t imagine what’s going through your mind right now. I wish I could be there to explain it to you in person. I’ll admit though, I’ve been afraid.
I’m writing to ask you to forgive me. Forgive me for not being there for you and your sister. I hurt you, and without realizing it; I hurt myself. I let my family go. Pride is a horrible thing, sweet pea. By refusing to say I was wrong, I lost my family.
I worked so hard to take care of you, and I missed what was important. There’s no excuse for my leaving. I won’t even give you one. I hated myself for too long, but I’m working on making things right. I hope you can forgive me.
Love,
Dad
Heather wiped her cheek and opened the next letter. Only a few months had passed since the first one he wrote as opposed to the one in her hand.
Sweet Pea,
Wow, it’s been a long time. Even though it’s been a few months since I last wrote to you, I can only assume you threw the first one away. So, I’m trying again. I’m sorry. I would call, but it’s better for me to get my feelings out here than to risk you hanging up on me, or shutting the door in my face.
I’ve been a coward, but I’m trying. I didn’t know how to be a husband or a father, but I loved your mother. I still do. Then you came along. I didn’t believe in love at first sight until I held you in my arms. Your tiny hand wrapped around my finger, and joy filled my heart.
It broke my heart to leave you, but I thought I was doing the right thing. I was a fool. I ran away, but I’m not doing that anymore. I’m here when you need me.
I love you,
Dad
Heather pressed her lips together as she touched a hand to her chest. There were other letters, so she picked the most recent one. She blew out her cheeks and read his last attempt.
Heather,
B
y now I hope you know about your mother and me. I also hope that you understand that I never stopped loving her. Thank God, she feels the same about me. I hope you’re doing well. Your mother is so proud of your work and success. I am too. If only you would give me a sign that I’m making progress with you.
I loved when you would dance with me with your little feet standing on mine. I know I threw it away, but I’m fighting for you now. I love you. I hope you believe me. I pray you can forgive me. You don’t have to see me if you don’t want to, but I want you to know I love you.
I’ll always love you. You’re a part of me. If I did one thing right, I had you and Sonia. You’re my pride and joy. I can’t make up for the time we’ve lost, but I’m asking for another chance. I won’t run again, sweet pea. Not this time.
Love,
Dad
Heather pushed the box to the side, covering her face with her hands. Running was a pattern in her family. No one ever stuck around to deal with their problems. Her father ran from the pressures of his life. Heather ran… from love. As much as she tried not to be her father, she was a mirror image of him.
Wiping her cheeks now soaked with tears, she wrapped her arms around herself. How could she change? Should she brush the years of pain under the rug? Was she supposed to welcome her father back into her life with open arms?
What about him taking responsibility for his actions? According to his letters, he did. He saw the error of his ways and he wanted to make amends. Was she that mistrustful that she couldn’t meet him halfway?
