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This statement disturbed Deepak. “So you are not my family, haan,” he questioned her.
Roshni grasped the situation; whatever she said regarding their relationship troubled Deepak, so she was quiet. She got up and began to walk slowly towards the kitchen when she felt Deepak pulling her towards him by grabbing her around her waist. She bumped into him, almost hitting his chin; the movement was so swift she hardly had any time to balance. She hesitated and looked up with a smile, the gap forgotten. They stared into each other’s eyes. The passion that Deepak had for Roshni was very obvious to her, but for Deepak, this was the first time he noticed any passion in her eyes. Every nerve in her body became alive to his touch. She attempted to pull back, but his grip around her tightened, pulling her closer to him.
“What are you doing, Deepak? Please let me go,” said Roshni, looking into his eyes.
At this moment Deepak stooped closer and pecked her on her cheek. She turned all red and pulled back. Her face was flushed as his face loomed in front of her. She felt shy and lowered her eyes.
“Deepak, please let me go,” she requested of him.
Deepak held her right hand very lovingly. “Why should I? You are my wife, and I have every right to hug and kiss you.” He kissed her hand.
Roshni was uncomfortable in his embrace and tried to pull back. “No, you don’t.”
She moved her head away from him, still being held. She looked into his eyes and was about to say something when Deepak leaned closer to her. “Roshni, you expect me to leave you, my wife, here and go away to Mumbai to celebrate festivals?”
“Deepak, please don’t start this again.” She moved away from him.
Deepak was saddened at her comment. He held her shoulders and gently turned her around to face him. “I am not going to leave you here. If – if – I go, you are going with me. Be it anywhere,” he said very emphatically.
Roshni was dumbfounded at this statement. Several questions arose in her mind. She turned away to hide her teary eyes, but Deepak was too quick and saw her tears.
He very caringly placed his hand around her shoulders, pulled her closer to him, and gently caressed her shoulders and back. “Roshni, I am not going anywhere without you. Do you understand? Moreover, this is our first Dashera and Diwali together. How can you think of celebrating alone? Sashank bhaiya and Kusum bhabhi asked me already if we both could go to Mumbai, but I refused to travel anywhere until you recover, until you show some improvement walking at least a few steps on your own, and…and please don’t start this wife stuff.”
He cupped her face with his hands and looked into her glassy eyes. “Roshni, you are my wife. Believe me; I have no other woman in my life. I have made it quite clear to you – I have no other woman in my life except you.”
As he said these words, his eyes were glassy, and Roshni could see the frustration in his eyes. How could he validate his feelings for her. She meant everything to him. She believed he was sincere; unawares to her, she slowly raised her hand and cupped his face and wiped his tears, looking passionately at him, and he wiped her tears, assuring her that she was important to him!
There was certainly some change in her attitude towards Deepak. He being there physically had a lot to do with this change. She was able to watch him more closely: his interactions, his behavior, his attitude, and more importantly, his feelings towards her. She saw that his concern for her was real, and he was a very kind and compassionate pers
on.
After the Lonawala experience, she knew that past actions and struggles played a very significant role in his attitude towards her on their wedding night, but she felt deceived, her self-esteem was damaged, her dreams were shattered and she was not ready to accept him as her husband yet. But as a human, as a friend, she cared for him and began to see the ‘real’ Deepak.
Similarly this trip was a great eye opener for Deepak too. Like Roshni, he also was able to watch her closely; his heart ached to see the pain beneath her smiling exterior. She kept everything to herself, never wishing to share her feelings or her frustrations with anybody. She was so mature and handled everything in her life, good and bad, so efficiently, and she was so genuine – no tantrums, no fussing or superficiality like other girls. She spoke her mind but was sensitive to others feelings; she was willing to bear any amount of pain but not reveal it. How he wished to hold her, hold her tightly against his chest, console her, and give her the confidence that he was there for her any time and all the time!
He observed a change in her attitude towards him: she did not argue as much, they had lighter conversations, and she tolerated his physical proximity and never resisted him holding her and kissing her. This was a positive step forward indeed; however, several questions bothered him. When will that time arrive when she will accept me? When will she make me a part of her life?
His focus was to be there for her at this moment. He had mentally made a determination not to leave until both of them left as husband and wife.
~ ~ ~
Sheetal arrived after work. Her travel plans were confirmed, and she talked about her vacation at the dinner table. During the conversation she mentioned how excited she was to meet Akash in Poona. Deepak and Roshni wondered when they had communicated. Sheetal bit her tongue and clarified that she had been talking to Akash about her trip to Poona, and Akash expressed his interest in attending Ravi Shankar’s workshop. Since he was interested, they had planned to meet each other at this retreat.
After all this conversation, Deepak looked at Roshni. “Roshni, I’m looking forward to working with you on this project. We got busy this afternoon and didn’t spend any time on it; we should do this tomorrow.”
“Okay,” was her response.
“Why are you so unenthusiastic?” Deepak asked her.
“Nothing,” was her response again.
“You must be very excited, Roshni and Sheetal. This is very popular in the US, and with this training, you will be indispensable.”
“Yeah, Roshni, who knows, you might start working for the same company as Deepak. What do you say Deepak?” Sheetal winked at Deepak and then looked at Roshni.
“Yeah, why not.” Deepak smiled.
Roshni became very uncomfortable with this conversation and slowly walked towards the kitchen. Deepak again instantly pulled her to him and gently wrapped his hands around her waist. Roshni looked towards Sheetal, who was engrossed in cleaning the table and pretended she had not noticed this at all.
