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It was okay for him because she was his wife; it was not okay for her because she thought she was not his wife.
“Roshni, don’t worry. It’s fine. Please continue… What were you saying? What happened to Babuji? Did he have any symptoms?” he asked.
“He died of a massive heart attack,” she replied.
“How? I mean, did something bother him?”
He actually knew a few details from Vivek and Vaishali, but he hoped Roshni would share so she would feel better.
Roshni was quiet. Deepak came forward and placed his hand on her shoulder, but she wasn’t ready for him to be near her. Without wasting any time, she removed his hand from her shoulder.
Deepak did not insist; he was respectful of her feelings. “Come, Roshni. Let’s sit and talk about it.”
Roshni followed him and sat on a chair but did not want to talk. She held her face in her palms and cried.
Deepak again knelt in front of her and was being sensitive to touching her, very lovingly said, “Roshni…Roshni…please…please control yourself.” He waited patiently, allowing her to let out her emotions.
After a few minutes, she regained control, and she leaned back on the chair and closed her eyes.
Deepak brought a glass of cold water for her, and she drank.
“Thanks for the water, Deepak. I’m sorry for bursting out so suddenly.”
“It’s all right, Roshni. You don’t have to apologize.” He waited for her to talk more as he rubbed her left hand and consoled her.
“Babuji sensed that I was not happy in this marriage. I avoided discussing it with him, but he took me to his house on the pretext of spending some time with me, and then he cornered me that night and asked me about our relationship.”
Deepak listened patiently.
“I avoided giving details, but he was not ready to accept short answers; he wanted to know more. I could never lie to him, and he knew it. Finally…I told him very briefly…the conversation between us on our wedding night. He couldn’t bear this. He was worried for me and asked me if we had discussed our future, and I had to tell him about the decision I made. This tore him apart completely. He wanted to talk to Sashank bhaiya. I stopped him because we’d already seen some positive changes in Sashank bhaiya and Akash bhaiya, and I did not want to ruin everything. He agreed, but…”
She wiped her tears and continued, “Kusum didi came that night to spend time with me, and we had dinner together. He felt very discouraged and walked away to his room. He needed some time to overcome the shock. Kusum didi left, and since Babuji was already in his room, I went to my room without disturbing him. The next morning I went to check on him and…and…found him dead in his recliner.”
She slowly got up, walked towards the window, and turned towards Deepak, who was listening scrupulously. “He died of this shoc
k. He probably felt guilty for getting me married. I have a strong feeling he took the blame upon himself.” She sighed. “I wish I had not told him anything.”
Deepak walked up to her. “Roshni, I wish I was more mature and thoughtful in talking to you on our wedding night. I made a big, big mistake that night.”
She was quiet and looked into his eyes.
“I am ashamed, Roshni. As I said, I was too nervous with this marriage; all the past incidents of my older bhabhi scared me. I wanted to share my thoughts, but I guess I shared at the wrong time. I was very tense and wanted to share my feelings, my fears with somebody. Unfortunately, I could not talk to Sashank bhaiya or Akash bhaiya, and when you noticed it and asked me why I was worried, it felt like you cared. At that moment you became a friend to me, and without any hesitation, I confided in you and blurted out everything.”
It was time for him to open up to her, and he did.
“Roshni, she treated all of us very badly, especially my babuji. She made him work like a servant, took away all his money, and…there were several occasions we had nothing to eat. I was very young at that time and did not understand much, but the actions and observations still influenced me. Sashank bhaiya was older, and he could not take this treatment any more. She would lie to her husband, meaning my older bhaiya, about us, and he believed her and started yelling at us, and several times he beat me and Akash bhaiya too.”
Roshni was shocked to hear all this. She knew a few details, but now, Deepak completely opened up to her, and she was happy. At least now she could understand why he said what he said on that night!
She listened to him very patiently, letting him talk it out without any interruptions.
“Finally, our babuji could not take this anymore, and he died of a heart attack one day when she created trouble and yelled and shouted at him and accused him. After this incident, Sashank bhaiya decided to move out of that house with Akash bhaiya and me, never again to come back to them. Sashank bhaiya hated bhabhi, and after that incident he stayed away from women and never had a great regard or respect for women. You may have noticed it soon after our marriage.”
She agreed because she had noticed his harsh behavior.
“Akash bhaiya and I have very bad recollections of those days. Both of us made up our minds not to marry. I saw the incompatibility between my older brother and bhabhi, but still he continued to live with her, being very unhappy, hoping she would change some day. He was worried about the impact on us children, but he kept going. All this had a great influence on me.”
He continued after a pause, “However, after living in the US for a few years, I saw that all women are not like my older bhabhi, and I changed my opinion regarding marriage. It was at this time I decided that I would only marry if I found somebody who I thought would be compatible with me and my family.”
