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“You need to walk away from this, Cass. Please, I don’t want you getting hurt,” I plead, stepping toward him, which only seems to make the fire burn brighter in his eyes.
He leans in, his face now a hairsbreadth away from mine. “I’ll never give up on you, Kalyn. You may have made sure I want you to pay for what you did, but I’ll never allow a woman in my life to hurt because of a man.”
There’s no lie in his words.
Cassian is a good guy. So are his brothers. But Cass was always the one who stole my attention. In a room full of people, it was always him. And now that I’m all grown up, it’s still him.
The thought brings a lump to my throat, and tears burn my eyes as I consider walking away from this man for good. If I were to tell him right now to give it up, to finally say goodbye to me, I know he’d respect my choice.
But when I open my mouth, I can’t find the words to tell him so. He watches me for a long while before he drops his head, and his lips feather along mine. It’s not a real kiss, but the contact is there.
His warm breath fans over my face as he speaks, “You may think you escaped the first time you walked out of Thorne Haven, but you can’t tell me you spent the last five years not thinking of me.”
“I—I can’t admit to anything because you know it will be a lie,” I throw back easily. While I was gone, he was the only person who invaded my mind every single day, it’s embarrassing, but also, it reminds me just how much I love him.
“Then you will have no qualms when I make my move.” The underlying promise is there. He’s going to do something stupid, and I’m most certainly not going to fight him.
I know I won’t.
He knows I won’t.
But I wonder just what will happen when Paulo finds out the truth.
“Soon, little liar,” Cassian promises before he saunters from the graveyard, leaving me in the dark to ponder what’s about to happen. My life is once again about to blow up, and I have no control over it.
13
Kalyn
Rolling over in bed, I curl into the sheets and keep my eyes closed. The dream that woke me lingers, and I think back on it, remembering one of the worst but also most beautiful moments of my life.
I’ve been crying for hours. The drive back from my grandmother’s house is long, silent, and filled with my pain which feels as if the world is crashing down on me. The grief is debilitating. My lungs struggle to do their job while my chest tightens every time I try to pull in air.
When I close my eyes, I see her, and when I open them, all I see before me is a dark cloud that hangs heavily over me. As if my life is under a constant state of rain. My heart is broken, and I don’t know how I’m going to get through this without the high which always calms me.
As we pull into the drive, I notice Cassian’s car parked in the street, but I don’t say anything to my parents. They wanted me to stay in tonight, but all I can think about is getting out of my head, out of remembering what happened, getting drunk, or something far stronger than Cassian will like.
The kids at school all do drugs, well, most of them, but I’ve only ever dabbled with a joint or two. But right now, all I want is to forget. To stop thinking and replaying the past few days. She didn’t even know me before she took her final breath, and that’s what’s cracking through my chest, a tight fist wrapping around my heart and squeezing.
I want to forget.
I want to get lost in a high that will clear my mind of the memories and images that have shattered my heart into a million pieces.
The slam of a door snaps me from the thoughts, and I look up to find my parents waiting on me. We make our way into the house, and I head straight for my bedroom, where I wait until I hear my parents going to bed.
Climbing out of my window has become second nature, and it doesn’t take me long to find Cass still parked in the same spot. I slip into the passenger seat of his car, and before he can say anything, I break down.
Cassian doesn’t think twice, he pulls me into his lap, and soon, I’m straddling him. His arms wrap around me, and he warms me with his calm affection. He doesn’t ask questions, he doesn’t say anything, he allows me to cry, to expel my pain through my tears.
