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“Oh my gods, can you knock it off? He isn’t going to fall in love with her. It doesn’t work that way,” I tell him.

Evert loosens his hold, but only slightly, at least enough for the cupid to take a big, sputtered breath. “Explain.”

“She doesn’t have cupid powers. And since she’s the first ever born cupid, I don’t know that she ever will. So until she does, she can’t activate a Love Arrow,” I tell him. “Just like you can’t take one and shoot people up with love. It would just be a normal arrow for you, and until she starts developing cupid powers, the same goes for her, too.”

Evert considers this for a moment and then lets go. Goth cupid coughs and falls over to his side, taking in haggard breaths. “Now I see where the kid gets her violent tendencies.”

Instead of being embarrassed, Evert looks proud.

Evert kneels down in front of Amorette, but instead of lecturing her about the importance of not stabbing people, he smiles at her. “That was bloody brilliant. You nearly sunk it all the way to the bone. Your training lessons are working,” he tells her.

Amorette beams.

“Evert,” I hiss.

He looks up at me, oblivious. “What? You want me to shoot him in the other leg?”

“Yeah!” Amorette exclaims.

“No,” I say sternly. “I want you to heal him.”

Evert curls his lip

. “Why?”

I give him the look. You know, the one that says I won’t be petting his zoo anytime soon if he doesn’t do what I ask.

He sighs. “Fine.” He leans over the guy and without giving any warning, yanks the arrow out of his leg. Gothy cries out and curses. All the other cupids look down at him with a mixture of pity and amusement.

“You could’ve warned me!” he snaps at Evert.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Evert retorts. “Roll up your pants.”

The cupid’s face turns ashen and he covers his crotch, like Evert just threatened to castrate him. “W-Why?” he sputters. “She already explained the Love Arrow didn’t make me fall in love with your daughter! I swear, I won’t!”

“You’re fucking right about that, asshole,” Evert says. “But if you want me to heal you, roll up your damn pant leg so that I can see the wound. I’m not fucking touching you more than I have to.”

The cupid looks to me, and I nod reassuringly.

Defeated, he grabs his pant leg and shoves it up, where we can see the gaping, bloody wound.

“Eww,” cellphone cupid says. “That’s so gross.”

Evert slaps his hand down on the guy’s calf, way harder than necessary, making him hiss in pain. His pained expression changes to relief when Evert’s powers stitch his skin back together.

“There,” Evert says, pushing off and standing back up.

Okot is ready with a water bucket for Evert to wash his hands with, and when he’s done getting off all the blood, he scoops up Amorette and places her on his shoulders. “Let’s go tell Daddy Ro all about this, and then see if Daddy Syl will carve you your own bow and arrow set, yeah?”

Amorette claps excitedly. “Yeah!”

“This is why she stabs people!” I call at his retreating back.

He just chuckles.

Like I said, we won’t be winning any parenting awards any time soon.

Chapter 16

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