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“Or on you? Can you tell me that? Or why he never fails to bring you gifts? Like this…” he caught her hand and held it between them. The enormous ruby glistened with a dark fire of its own, and I did not know if it was my gasp or Elena’s that echoed softly in my ears.
“Lucas!” Instead of pulling her hand away Elena brought her other hand up, touching his bare chest caressingly, almost tenderly. “You know that Jesus Montoya has been like a brother to me. We’ve known each other a long time, since you were no more than a child!” Her voice changed from softness to mock-severity. “Come now, who was it who made you a present of your first horse? And the first gun you ever owned? Before you two quarreled you were like father and son. Jesus always has been a generous man with his friends, and well you know it!”
I thought that he sighed, the expression in his eyes bleak. “And how well you know how to wheedle me out of my anger! But Montoya had better remember that I am no longer the niño he used to call me, and I warn you, if he…”
Elena turned to me with a teasing laugh. “Ah, Rowena! You see how fierce he is, this son of mine?”
I think Lucas felt himself driven past endurance at that moment. “Not at all, mamacita. When you command me, I always become tame, do I not?”
It was the first time I had heard him call her “mother,” and I saw her eyes widen; both at that, and the grim sarcasm that underlay his voice.
Before she could say anything else, he put his hand on my arm, drawing me with him.
“Will you excuse us? Rowena has reminded me that I have not congratulated her and Ramon yet, and I feel in the mood for a glass of wine.”
Her indulgent smile put us both firmly in our places—as it was meant to, I suppose.
“But of course. You must find Ramon and you must all celebrate. And I have an even better idea—tonight we will have a fiesta!” With a rustling of her skirts, she walked toward the door leading into the kitchen, and Lucas dropped my arm to open it for her. I had noticed before that this was the kind of automatic courtesy he always showed her—and only her.
When he turned back to look at me I was armed against him, my eyes cold. “Why don’t you go behind her and ask her forgiveness for having spoken like a jealous boy!” I could not prevent the venom from showing in my voice, nor the disgust, and his mouth tightened.
“Are you always so contemptuous of the feelings of others? Or is your damned indifferent air a cover-up for your own weakness?”
“Weakness!” I almost spat the word at him, even while I wondered at my own anger. “Why must those who are weak constantly look for the same infirmity in others?”
“I guess you’d call lovin’ somebody weakness too, wouldn’t you? What kind of a woman are you, for God’s sake?”
“A woman who is none of your concern any longer!” I flashed back at him.
We were far too close, and in spite of my angry words I was afraid that he would touch me again, afraid of my own weakness.
I would have preferred him to show his anger in response to mine, but instead his green-flecked eyes had taken on almost a puzzled expression as he looked down at me. “What have I done to you to make you hate me as much as you do, Rowena? Oh, I know I’ve done things to make you mad, but it goes deeper than that with you, doesn’t it?”
He was so close to me that I could see the faint scars, thin white lines against the brown of his bare chest. For an instant, I was seized with an almost overwhelming desire to reach my hand out and touch him as Elena had done, and the feeling shook me so much that I could not control the slight tremor in my voice.
“I don’t hate you… that’s ridiculous! For goodness’ sake, what makes you think I’d feel so strongly about you, one way or the other? You have a way of making me lose my temper, that’s all.”
When I moved past him, walking far too quickly, I felt as if I was running away. He let me go without another word.
Twenty-Five
The night that followed will always remain “the night of the fiesta” to me. No matter how far I travel or how much older I become, I think that I will always be able to close my eyes and see us all as we were on that particular night, with an enormous, slightly lopsided moon peering over the mountain ridges, and the tinier, flickering lights of the small fires that Elena had ordered built for warmth. There was a tree-shaded patio behind the house, with a wide half-wall surrounding it on three sides. Tonight, in addition to the small fires, there was torchlight and music. We were supposed to enjoy ourselves.
“You will have to get used to our Spanish ways, Rowena,” Ramon had teased me earlier, when I protested that there was no need for such a large celebration of our engagement. “Any excuse to have a fiesta—to make merry and be happy. And tonight we will all be happy.”
For Luz, it was the perfect occasion to wear her new gown, and to dazzle everyone with her high-piled, sophisticated hairstyle. Elena had given her pearls to wear, and they seemed to glow against her tawny skin. I wore white—like a bride, like a virgin, I thought to myself with a pang of self-derision, as I looked at myself in the mirror. A simple gown to make me appear young and innocent. Elena offered me jewelry to wear, but I refused it; and acting on a last-minute impulse I let my hair hang loose. Why not? It seemed that I had a role to play, and I would play it to the hilt. Elena would understand, if no one else did!
I was the last to go downstairs, for I had helped Luz to dress and pin her hair up in the elaborate style she had begged for. Outside, someone had started to play a guitar, a mournful Spanish air, and I could smell the spicy aroma of the food that Paquita was preparing in the kitchen; hear the murmured talk and laughter that floated through the widely opened doors.
Ramon waited for me at the foot of the stairs, handsome in his dark charro costume, with the white ruffle of his shirt forming a pleasing contrast to his olive-tinted skin. I saw a flare of desire spring into his eyes as he came forward to catch my wrists, pulling me against him for an instant to place a kiss at the corner of my mouth.
“You look so beautiful! Like a princess. Every time I set eyes on you, Rowena, I can hardly believe how lucky I am!”
We went outside, and there were more compliments. But of the three women there, I felt that I was the plainest, and the compliments merely kindness. Luz looked as if she sparkled from the inside out, and I saw Lucas at her side, a sullen expression on his face. His only concession to the celebration was the wearing of a red silk shirt, wide-sleeved and open down the front. I was reminded only too vividly of the scrap of red silk that had been his signal to Flo Jeffords and hers to him, and I felt my fixed smile falter for an instant. He did not move from his place to greet me, but I saw his eyes narrow slightly and his mouth go up at one corner as if he wished me to know that he was not to be taken in by my demure appearance.
“So Rowena has come outside to join us at last!”
Elena, silk and velvet skirts clinging to her body and swirling out behind her in a train that would have done credit to any duchess, came forward to greet me, just as if this had been some formal occasion, and I a shy guest.
