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“Working at the bar was good for a while because it was something to do at night, when things were…” I reminded myself that I was trying to tell Felix things now. “When things were worst. It felt safer to keep busy during those times.”
Felix nodded and slid his hand into mine.
“Nights are worst for a lot of people. A lot of addicts. And bars are open late. I was thinking of having more…activities. Still being open the same times, but having, I dunno, game nights or book clubs. And letting Johi come up with some fancy, nonalcoholic drinks—”
“Mocktails.”
“That what the kids are calling them these days?”
Felix shot me a look.
“You know that’s what they’re called, you grouch.”
I did know.
“It could be one night a week, or a few. I haven’t really thought it through yet,” I said.
“That’s a great idea,” said Felix. “Sobar nights. Get it?”
The idea glowed like an ember and Felix’s approval gave it oxygen.
Felix never shot down ideas. Sometimes he asked questions. Sometimes he edited. But possibility excited him. The promise of something that might materialize. I still wasn’t sure whether the idea would work, but his response made telling him things feel better than telling them to anyone else.
I kissed him on the cheek.
“I get it.”
* * *
—
The cab we’d taken from the train station pulled up to a sagging two-story attached house with peeling green paint and broken gutters.
“Mom!” Felix hollered as he ran up the front steps.
I trailed after him.
Maya Rainey was small, about Sofia’s size, with the same glossy, wavy dark hair as her children, and her brown eyes were keen.
“My baby!” she said loudly, opening her arms to Felix.
He hugged her tight, and I stood as still as possible, as if this might let me escape scrutiny.
“Come in, come in,” she said, tugging Felix inside.
I took a deep breath and followed, and when I closed the door behind me, Felix nudged me forward.
“Mom, this is Dane Hughes.”
I fixed my face into as nonthreatening an expression as I could.
“Nice to meet you, Ms. Rainey.”
I shook her hand firmly, and the corner of her mouth quirked into a smile so reminiscent of Felix’s that I found myself smiling back.
“Welcome, Dane. Call me Maya.”
She turned to Felix.
“Sofia’s bringing Coco with her.”
“Huh? Sofia’s coming here?”
“You didn’t talk? She said she was going to call you.”
Felix fished out his phone and peered at it, but Maya continued.
“Apparently that nice drummer—what’s his name? Evan?”
“Ethan.”
“Right. Apparently he’s got some kind of horrible stomach thing and they cancelled tomorrow night’s show. That means they have tonight and tomorrow night off, so Sof wanted to come. She said she was going to invite Coco.”
“Hunh,” Felix said, placing a slightly mocking hand to his heart. “Rock star Coco Swift at Chez Rainey. Will wonders never cease.”
Maya laughed, then she and Felix fell into animated conversation. I hoped they had a lot to catch up on so they wouldn’t include me. I was bordering on a tension headache and above all, I didn’t want to go frozen, as Felix called it, and make a bad impression on Maya. I concentrated on slowly unlocking my jaw muscles, tuning out until Felix grabbed my hand and said, “Come on.”
I followed him upstairs with our bags. Apparently we were staying in his old room and Coco and Sofia were staying in Sofia’s old room. The wall going up the stairs held pictures of the Raineys from the time Felix was a baby. There was a picture of a much younger Maya holding him. Maya was looking off to the side, but Felix was staring directly at the camera, with a corona of brown curls and a bubbly smile that made his eyes sparkle. He was an adorable baby.
“You look just the same.”
He peered at the picture.
“What? No way.”
“Yup.”
“That’s me and Sof.” He pointed at a picture of them each sitting on the low branches of a tree in a park. They looked like they were six or seven. Sofia was looking at the camera and Felix was looking at Sofia. His hand was behind her like he was making sure she didn’t fall.
“That’s Adrian and Ramona, when they were in high school.”
He pointed to another picture. Adrian looked fifteen or sixteen and had short, spiky hair bleached blond and sunglasses on top of his head. He was giving a thumbs-down to the camera and frowning exaggeratedly. Ramona, a year younger, was standing behind him, hands planted on her hips, glaring.
“And Lucas. That’s from a few years ago.” Lucas looked taller than any of the others, and his hair was lighter brown and curlier. He was smiling at the camera and holding a pineapple with a face drawn on it.
At the top of the stairs was a group shot that looked recent. The kids all had their arms around each other and were leaning toward Maya, who was sitting in a chair in front of them, blowing out candles on a cake. Everyone was smiling.
