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Okay, that was a blow to the ego. I thought having my face on cereal boxes was enough, but evidently my calling card was actually a dome of rubber. Still, it didn’t matter because I couldn’t. I refused to look like a clown on national TV.
“No,” I said shortly. “I can’t, sorry.”
This time Jim, my agent, jumped in. That guy was always lurking around somewhere.
“Listen Mace, just wear it as you go out,” he said persuasively. “You can whip it off as soon as you’ve greeted the audience. What’s the harm? The audience will love the gag.”
That was the thing. I didn’t want to be the butt of the joke. I didn’t want to be the dancing monkey that people paid to see. I was just about to snap out a sharp retort when Janie intervened.
“Jim, Tim,” she said graciously, coming up to us and putting a comforting hand on my arm. “Mason’s had a long morning because you know he had a four a.m. call time.” That was true. These morning talk shows start earlier than you think due to all the prep that’s needed. “Besides,” added Janie reasonably. “If Mace has his swim cap on, he’ll ruin his hair and make-up. We don’t want that, do we? All the folks who got up early to blow out his hair, and apply foundation. Do you want to destroy all their work for thirty seconds of laughs?”
I turned to my woman, impressed. Janie was seriously sharp and I was continuously amazed at her smarts, and her ability to inject logic into even the most impossible situations, especially since I’d been on the verge of blowing up.
“That’s true,” mused my agent. “We don’t want Mason looking disheveled. After all, a good-looking face is what sells product, and not someone unkempt and messy.”
I could have told him that, but it’d taken Janie’s wisdom instead.
“Exactly. Great thinking,” she chimed in, making my agent preen with satisfaction. “This is a promo opportunity and Mace has got to be at his best. I say let him go out with the swim cap in his pocket, and when Hester asks him about the tricks of the trade, he can whip it out.”
I looked at her with new respect in my eyes. Not only had my stepsister soothed Jim’s ruffled feathers, but she’d thought up a compromise which everyone could work with.
“Okay,” nodded Bob, another producer. “It’s a go then. Here,” he said, handing me the rubber cap. “Have it ready and when Hester asks about your secrets, and then pull it out from your back pocket.”
I laughed. I was going to be a magician of sorts, but better a magician than a clown. With admiration, I turned to Janie.
“You’re amazing, did I tell you that?” I whispered in her ear. Again, we were still dating in secret and with everyone watching, we couldn’t reveal the extent of our relationship. She giggled, but controlled herself.
“You’re pretty amazing yourself,” she whispered back, and I stepped back, thunderstruck, my heart pumping. Just this small exchange had warmed me up inside, and made my confidence soar. But before I could fully process my emotions, it was time to go on.
I bounded out onto Rockefeller Plaza, while smiling and waving to the crowd. Again, I thanked god for Janie. There were a ton of people here, and I could see signs from Iowa, Missouri, and California in the audience. Thank god I didn’t have the ridiculous swim cap on. I was still Mason Phillips, athletic hero, and someone to emulate.
“Hey Mason!” chirped Hester, teetering precariously in her high heels. I was impressed because Hester must have been fifty at least, but she looked years younger in a floral sheath, with her perfect make-up and helmet-like hair. “Now,” she cooed. “Tell us about your secret swim techniques,” she said. “What gives you that edge in the water?”
“No secrets,” I said, smiling broadly. “Just practice, practice, practice, and eating right.”
I could see Janie gesturing furiously from the sidelines, miming pulling something out of her pocket before placing something on her head. Oops. Oh right. With a rueful grin, I added quickly.
“Sorry Hester, I do have a secret, and it’s called Madison Swim Caps. They make the best swim caps around and for a fraction of the price of the big guys,” I said, pulling out the limp dome.
Thank goodness for Janie because she’d proven her worth again. I’d almost let the promo opportunity slip by, but my girl had reminded me, her keen eye and sharp instinct enabling me to hit my mark in the nick of time. What would I do without her?
But I couldn’t think about it now because I was on live TV and Hester did a really funny thing. The host took the cap and placed it on her own head, squashing her perfectly blown-out hair.
