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Sometimes, I find it hard to believe I've fucked up so royally. That I actually did it – killed someone out of purely selfish reasons. It's Hawaii all over again. I'm letting my darkness seep through, even though I know I shouldn't. I've been trained and taught to keep it hidden. But with Dove, it all spills out. I can't imagine being this protective over anybody else.
For a long time, I was convinced I could outrun the darkness inside me, but I now know that wasn't what I needed to do.
The feeling of lightness... forgiveness... relief... it's all part of redemption. And I need to pay for my sins. Only then will I be able to spend the rest of my life – if that's granted – with Dove by my side.
But I've never forgotten one fact – that there's a death penalty here.
With those thoughts swimming through my head, I wait for my name to be called. Soon after, I realize Brentwood isn't even in yet, since his office is dark and his secretary seems fidgety. I paint myself a picture of the man but stop midway through. Who the fuck am I to judge him? In everybody's eyes, he's the saint, and I'm the sinner.
While I wait, I picture better days. Dove, next to me. The soft caress of her palm against my cheek. The whisper of her kiss against my lips. The scent of her, sugar and roses, multiplied by her closeness and the searing touch of her skin against mine. My fists tighten, needing to be wrapped around my cock. Fuck, I'm getting hard. This is beyond inappropriate.
But it's just what Dove does to me, has always done to me. She grips my heart with an iron grip, and she has a hold of my cock, too.
I'm already looking for an excuse to disappear to the bathroom as I picture last night. Her tight little body wrapped around mine. My name a dying whisper on her lips. My load running down her thighs. Fuck, she makes me need her so much. How the fuck am I going to survive without her? What if I never get to see her again?
Now, I'm desperate for another look, another touch. I push myself to my feet and watch the door, glancing between the secretary who's pretending not to see me, and the precinct's front door. Fuck. Should I leave? Should I find out whether Dove's still waiting?
I'm about to leave when a man rushes through the very door I'm watching, offering me a handshake and an apologetic smile.
"I'm Chief Brentwood," he says. "I'm sorry I'm late. Come through to my office, please."
I follow him past the relieved-looking secretary. I watch him take his coat off and place his cup of takeaway coffee on his desk.
"Okay, so what have we got here?" The captain sits down in front of his desk. "I must say, Mr. Miller, we're quite thrilled to have you – you have more than a few fans in the pen outside."
"Thanks," I reply stiffly, struggling to find the words to go on.
"That girl outside, she came with you?”
My heart leaps at his words – she’s still out there.
"Yes?" My smile tightens painfully. "What about her?"
"Err, nothing," he replies, sensing the change written all over my face. He picks up his coffee cup and his hands shake. I get predatory when it comes to Dove. She's fucking mine. "She's your wife?"
"Maybe," I mutter. "Soon."
"Some of us know her," Brentwood nods with a sorrowful smile. "She was here a lot when her brother went missing. Never did find that young man. Some of the boys still think he ran off with another woman."
I feel my head getting cloudier. Fuck. Out of all the people working here, they had to give me the guy who knows about the fucking case?
Maybe that's my punishment. Facing the wrath and judgement of this man, who worked his ass off to find out the reason Robin went missing. Maybe he'll take a certain kind of satisfaction to learn I killed him. Or maybe, probably, it will only make him despise me more.
"I'm a killer," I say clearly. "Two years ago, I killed Robin Canterbury, that woman's brother."
"Wh-What?" Brentwood chokes on his coffee, setting the cup down. "You..."
"That's right," I nod. "I killed him and I'm here to confess."
"Mr. Miller, this is..." His face changes. The moment I foresaw happening is here. He hates me now. "You killed that young man?"
"Yes," I nod, signing my death sentence. "I killed him. I did it."
Chapter 43
Dove
The pain of leaving Nox is haunting me.
I'm walking home after waiting three hours in front of the precinct. But Nox never came back out, and I eventually got too tired to keep waiting. He told me he'd call me once he got the chance, but for now, that's all I know.
