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"You're a monster," she whispers. "I made you do this. He's gone. Robin's gone because of me."
I don't tell her it's not true, because technically, it fucking is.
I'm a cold man. Dove Canterbury is the only person I feel for. But I can't console her now. I did what I had to do. I did it so we could be together. I did it so she'd finally fucking realize she loved me. And it motherfucking worked.
"Whatever I tell you now, you're going to hate me more," I say calmly. "Let's talk about this when you feel better."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" She gets up and looks at me the way my father did. With pure disgust. "I'm leaving. I can't even look at you. You make me fucking sick."
She tries to walk past me to get to the door, but I take her by the forearm. She thrashes wildly so I let go, but block her way. "Let me make it better."
"Better?" she spits out. "You can't make a murder better. Are you turning yourself in?"
"What?" I shake my head. "No, of course not. I need to be with you. Take care of you."
"Then I want nothing to do with you." She walks past me and opens the door.
"Don't, little bird."
"Don't you dare fucking call me that," she hisses over her shoulder.
"You wanna make this hard on me?" I advance on her and slam the door closed. She glares and screams in frustration when I grab her, throwing her over my shoulder. "I'll make you fucking stay. I'll make you never leave me again."
I let her down on the bed. I hold her down with one hand and grab some rope from the nightstand with the other. My heart is fucking pounding in disbelief. But I have to do this, I don't have a choice. I can't let her get away from me. I can't lose Dove again.
I tie up her ankles and her wrists. She doesn't say a word, just stares at the ceiling. Once I'm done, I take a step back to admire her. No matter what, she's so fucking beautiful. One day she'll understand. I'll make her.
"I'll keep you like this as long as I fucking have to," I tell her. "Until you agree with me."
"I don't care," she whispers. "I don't fucking care anymore. You've broken me. I'm... I'm nothing anymore."
"Don't say that, little bird." I gently touch her cheek. It takes a lot of effort for me not to hurt her, because my body wants to abuse something beautiful, and she's the one I want to hurt most.
"Don't touch me," she whispers, tears gliding down her cheeks. "Don't touch me, please."
I pull my hand back. Usually, I wouldn't give a shit, but her pain is so fucking intense I can feel it, searing my bones. I feel bad for her, but not for what I did. It needed to be done. Means to an end. Anything so we can be together at the end of this.
"Dove, you'll get over this," I mutter. "You have to."
She doesn't say another word. A silent tear rolls down her cheek as she stares at the ceiling. I don't know what to do with myself, so I just fucking stare at her. I still think she's beautiful. Stunning. Perfect. I know I can make her think I'm perfect, too. She just needs to come to terms with that.
"You love me," I mutter. "You told me you love me. Remember, Dove?"
She shakes her head, "You didn't even say it back."
"You know I don't believe in that bullshit," I smirk.
"It's not. It's what normal people do, Nox," she whispers. "It's what I need. What I want. What you aren't capable of."
"You know how much I fucking want you," I hiss.
"It's not the same." Her voice breaks, and she keeps repeating it over and over again like a mantra. "It's not the same. It's not the same. It's not the same."
"Dove, do you want me to fuck you?" I sit next to her on the bed, my hands roaming her skin. "I'll make it better. Let me show you how much I need you. Let me own that body."
She laughs, cries, laughs some more. I don't stop touching her. But it's different now. Her skin's cold.
"I need to pee," she whispers.
"Swear to me you won't run."
"I won't."
I untie her and stand in the bathroom while she pees. She doesn't object, doesn't say a word. She just stares ahead while she does it, eyes blank, staring into nothing. After, she walks back to the room. She stares out of the window. It's raining.
"I want to go home," she manages.
"I can't let you go home."
"Then you'll have to kill me, too."
"Don't fucking say shit like that," I growl, standing behind her. I can smell her. Sweet roses and soapy skin. "I need you, Dove. I'm not spending another day of my life without you."
