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I turned my head and glanced at the achievements and diplomas that graced the wall behind the doctor. “Emerson University.” I nodded. “I’ve heard a good deal about their program. Impressive.”
“Thank you.” The woman glowed. “I’ve heard a good deal about you as well.”
“Thanks.” I took a few deep breaths to center myself and focused on the reality in front of me. I just couldn’t make sense of it. “Brendan, Dr. Goodman is a therapist. What are you doing here?”
“I know. She specializes in grief and marriage counseling which seemed a little perfect because I needed both.” He sat down next to me and took my hand. “I told you that I never really grieved our child, and it took its toll on me. Obviously, I wasn’t handling our marriage very well. Dr. Goodman is helping me with that.”
“Helping you?” I echoed weakly.
He flashed me a smile. “Jillian, you’re a therapist. You should understand a man who needs help. I needed to get a grip on a few things myself before I tried to convince you that a divorce was wrong. This is my third session with Dr. Goodman. Do you need the details?”
“No.” Shaking my head, I pulled my hand back. There was a flash of disappointment in him, but his touch had a way of clouding my judgment. “Your recovery is personal to you. You only need to share the parts of your therapy with me that you think I can help you with. Dr. Goodman, I know that this is highly unusual, but do you think that you could give us a few minutes?”
“Of course. I have an appointment at three, but I think that Brendan and I were done for today anyway.” She rose graciously and gave us the room.
“She must be very good for you to have endured three sessions with her,” I said softly.
“I joked about your job before, and for that I apologize. She’s really helped me understand a few things about myself.” He searched my face anxiously. “Are you here about the divorce?”
I licked my lips, desperate to press them to his. “That’s part of it, yes.”
“You’re upset that I haven’t been answering your calls. I’m not ignoring you, Jillian. Or putting you off. I just needed more time before I talked to you. I’d like for you to hear me out before you make a final call, and then, if you want the divorce, I’ll give you whatever you want.”
It was strange. He seemed all geared up to apologize to me when I was there to apologize to him. I put up my hand. “Brendan, you’ve got to stop. I worked hard on this speech, and you’re going to distract me.”
He paled a little. “Speech?”
“Yes, speech. I owe you the biggest apology in the world. After my boards, I had a rather unpleasant run-in with Dr. Augusta. You remember him?”
His eyes narrowed dangerously. “That asshole you thought you were dating? Is he responsible for that bruise on your jaw?”
Against my will, my hand moved up to touch the aching bruise. “He’s responsible for a lot of things, including the stunt with Joyce Reid. I was angry and hurt, and I unfairly accused you. I can’t apologize enough, Brendan. I could not have been more wrong, and if I’d been thinking clearly, I would have realized that you never would have hurt me in that way. I’ve always held on to this fear that you blamed me and hated me, and I just couldn’t shake it. I thought this was about revenge, and in a way, it was. I was just wrong about the perpetrator.”
“He was jealous.” Inhaling, he reached out and traced a finger over my bruise. “I’ll kill him.”
“There’s no need. He’s been forced out of the university, and any hope he had for a clinic in the city is gone. He’s done. The only thing that I want from you is your forgiveness.”
Leaning down, he kissed me softly. “You don’t need it, Jillian. I don’t blame you for your reaction. I’d banked on my love being enough to give us a second chance. It wasn’t, and I think you knew that. I wanted to ignore the issues of our past, to control the situation, and in doing so, I chased you away. It’s no wonder that you blamed me. But I love you, and I want more than anything to keep this marriage alive. I’m willing to put in the work for it.”
Terrified, I reached up and gathered his shirt in my fist. The apology was only the beginning, and I was so worried that he was going to pull away when he heard what I had to say next. “And if you discovered that your wife was pregnant, and you might have to face that grief all over again?” He stilled, and I struggled not to cry as I pushed through. “You weren’t the only one keeping secrets, Brendan. I knew the day that I went to your office and heard you and Gordon talking about the land deal. I was going to tell you then but…” I couldn’t go on.
