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“They’re great until he walks me to the front door. Then it’s a kiss that’s full of promise and a whisper that he’ll see me in the morning. I swear, I couldn’t get him into my bedroom if I gave him a strip show and promised him a million dollars.”
“Have you tried talking to him about it?”
“Only about a dozen times. He just says something about respect and wanting me to be sure. I’m not some sixteen-year-old girl. If I say I’m ready, he should trust that I’m ready! He seems to think that he knows what I want better than me.” Muttering something under her breath, she hauled the saddle into the storage closet and slammed it shut.
“You might be ready, but maybe he’s not,” I said tentatively. “He’s been hesitating every step of the way, and to someone like Ben, sex might not be casual.”
“But we’re not in a casual relationship!”
“You guys have only been going out for a couple of weeks,” I pointed out. “Although it seems like that time might not matter since you two have known each other for so long, it’s really not that long in the scheme of things. If he wants to take it slow and woo you, I suggest that you let him. It might be worth it in the end.”
I winked to prove my point, and the woman bit her lower lip. I’d learned enough about Debra to know that she wasn’t shy about going after what she wanted, and men responded to that. She probably had no idea what to do with a guy who wanted to take it slow.
In a way, I admired her. There was a time when I’d possessed that kind of confidence. Now I wasn’t even sure I could bring up a future with Brendan, even though he’d made it clear that he wanted one.
How was I going to make it work? A career in the city. A home in the country. It sounded ideal until I realized how many hours it would take me to travel every day. By the time I got home, all I’d have time to do was sleep.
After emptying out all my pockets for Silva, I walked over to give Debra a hand with the rest of the gear. The door to the second storage closet in the back of the stable always swelled after a rain and tended to stick.
As soon as I got near her, a small breeze blew by us, and I got a nose-full of her perfume. It was a scent that I was familiar with, but for some reason, today, it turned my stomach. Holding my breath, I grabbed the post next to me and moaned as I waited for it to pass.
“Jillian? Are you okay?” Debra hurried to my side, and the aroma only got stronger. Unable to help myself, I hurried to the exit and made it just in time to empty the contents of my stomach outside. I’d missed lunch, so all that came up was the water that I’d been chugging.
“Whoa. Easy,” Debra crooned as she stroked my hair. It was the same voice that she used to tame a horse, and I didn’t know whether to be amused or annoyed.
“I swear I’m catching some kind of bug,” I grumbled as I finally straightened. “I’ve been feeling weird all week.” Make that two weeks.
“Maybe all that sex is finally catching up to you,” Debra teased. “But seriously, if you think you’re coming down with something, you should spend a few days inside. Brendan won’t be happy if you get everyone sick.”
Maybe all that sex is finally catching up to you.
My heart skipped a beat, and my vision blurred. How could I have been so stupid? I’d been on the pill and never thought a thing about it, but I’d been on the pill when I was married too.
Slowly, I thought back. I’d had my period last month, right?
“I have to go.” Debra gave me a strange look, but I offered no explanation as I hurried back to the house. Taking the stairs two at a time, I burst into the bathroom and reached for my pills.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I’d had a period two weeks ago. Sort of. Actually, it had been nearly nonexistent in comparison to my normal flow, but I’d written it off as the stress of everything going on around me. Between the stress and irritation of being here, I hadn’t even thought twice about it.
Gripping the edge of the counter, I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. There was no need to panic until I’d taken a test, but in my gut, I already knew. The dizzy spells. The nausea. It was exactly like the last time.
I’d need a ride into town to get a pregnancy test. Kim and Debra would have both done it for me, but after the mistakes that I’d made with Brendan, I couldn’t just shut him out again.
