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And I would tell him that, as soon as I saw him again. In the meantime, I took my time smoothing lavender lotion all over my skin and sliding into a pair of comfortable cotton pants and soft t-shirt. I poured a glass of wine and turned on some music to help me think.
That thinking lasted all of twenty minutes before the front door opened and Ryan stood there, tall and handsome with his broad shoulders taking up the width of the doorway. His jeans hung low on his hips and I just knew if he didn’t have Titus in his arms, I’d see a strip of skin that might have a hint of the hair that dipped below his waistband, possibly even that sexy vee that made my mouth water.
“Ryan.”
“Persephone,” he growled and licked his lips. “Precious cargo, special delivery.”
My lips pulled into a reluctant smile. Why did he have to be so damn charming? “Upstairs and to the left?”
Ryan nodded and headed up the stairs to Titus’ room, and as soon as he was out of view, I finished off the glass of wine with shaky hands. His heavy footfalls told me he was on his way back down and I stood between him and the front door.
“Are you going to leave without talking to me?”
Ryan stopped a few feet away and frowned. “No. How was dinner with Ferguson?”
My shoulders relaxed at the ease of his tone. “It was a disaster, Ryan. Titus didn’t want to engage with Ferguson at all, which kind of hurt his feelings. It was strange, he’s never behaved that way before.”
Ryan let out a deep chuckle and shook his head. “Titus told me,” he said, confirming that my son had gone over there for guy talk. “So what happens next?”
“Nothing, I guess. Ferguson wants to keep the lines of communication open for the future, but in an unobtrusive way. He leaves for Canada in the morning.”
“That’s good. Right?”
“It is,” I told him on a sigh. “The more important question is, what does all of this mean for us?” I held my breath and stared into his blue eyes, willing him to say the words I needed to hear. “Ryan?”
Ryan sucked in a deep breath and raked his fingers through his thick hair as he let it out. “I love you Persephone. I have loved you, in one way or another, for a very long time.” His voice was raspy, his tone intense and sincere.
The dark look in his eyes heated me down to my belly. “Then why are you making things between us so difficult?” I held up a hand to stop the words I knew were coming. “I know I messed up by not telling you about Ferguson, but you have to know it has nothing to do with you or how I feel about you.”
“That’s just it, Persephone. I don’t know how you feel about me.” He sighed again and took a step forward, bridging the gap between us. “You’re too good for me and I know that. Hell, I’m perfectly okay with that. My grandpa always said that a smart man married up and spent his life making himself good enough for his woman and their family. I’m willing to do that, for you. For Titus. For any other children that come our way.”
His words made my legs tremble. “First of all, you’re not too good for me, Ryan. You are…perfect.” My smile was as shaky as my legs and I fought the urge to go to him and wrap my body around his. “But if you feel that way, why are you way over there and I’m way over here?”
“Because I love you. I am head over heels in love with you, Persephone. You are the only woman I want, the only woman I need in my life. But I have no clue how you feel about me.”
“But-,”
“No, you asked and I’m going to tell you.” He took another step closer and cupped my face, running his rough thumbs along my jaw before he took a step back. “You like sleeping with me. We’re compatible in the bedroom and a lifelong friendship means that you enjoy spending time with me with our clothes on too. But that’s an easy slide into a friends with benefits relationship and I don’t want that.” He closed that gap again. “It’s not enough for me, Persephone. I want you. All of you.”
Before I could say anything, Ryan’s big hands cradled my face and his lips were on mine, slowly and commanding, as his tongue slid along the seam of my lips back and forth. Ryan took his time, he didn’t dive right in despite the fierce way he held me close. Fingers speared through my hair, he tilted my head and slipped between my lips.
